Drink To Me

I could bang the door shut, run out, away
from your screech, dry and black.
I could try to deafen it with satin recollections –

an orange wind inflating the arches of Nahalat Shiva,
the dark blue gnawing at the light on the night’s rim,
muezzins calling for the last prayer,
beer like maple sap in our mouths -

a coward's game.

But hey! it’s late, give me to drink,
god of the downtown bustle,
from the puddle of the moon’s face
as it hollows out in evening steam.
I want my trance and to push away
that foreign grip seizing me by the throat
and to drink, drink against the rule of pain,
against the scorch hounding the alley’s oak...

"Trees die standing" and you writhe in agony
at the ruthless gate, fritter away minutes,
abandoned,

by gods, by me - all to the sole victor.

And you cannot rise and rewind the film,
fend off sickness on the hunt,
meet me in buzzy Barood off Jaffa Road
and drink to me… with the feeling within that
all, forever, is well, as it must be.

I could return home, drunk and ashamed,
find you sleeping, silent.
I'd kneel and strike your transparent forehead –
a prophetic scroll on the suffering yet to recommence -
I'd beg your forgiveness,
read on your lips an impatient “stop it,”
and I'd forbid you to wake.




(Jerusalem, July 2012)

Oh Bar! I'd just posted a different poem involving drink and this appears before me! You wondered about how I write sweet Bar but I too wonder how the words come to you. Surely the last two stanzas were naturally born together and with such powerf that I can still feel the taste in my mouth....

Bar....this beautiful poem filled me with awe!!

Are You OK?

kittypaws

Revised or not:
- about "dark, heavy and dense ..." - are you sure you weren't influenced by me(laughs...)? What a magnificent text !

This was a good one. We are all awaiting the revision! Coucou Bar!





J

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jack of Hearts

This was a good one. We are all awaiting the revision! Coucou Bar!





J

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Were you faster than me? hmm... it means I need training!

Thank you Delta, Kitty (I'm fine, I'm of "the yet un-harvested"!!!), Jeos, last night I couldn't sleep so jotted and posted that poem (the context of which precedes my last's) unaware it was wearing its dressing gown... it therefore took umbrage and has hidden itself until it's given a proper getup.

Hey to you all and coucou back, Heart.

Well Bar it was indeed one of the most beautiful/impressive gown I've seen so far ;-)

OK, I surrender - returned in #1. After all, you can always tell me the truth.

One of the elements I always like about your poems is the way you can locate the reader in the scenes you create, with carefully chosen names and objects. I often have to find a reference to understand, but it is well worth it.

Reading this each time, I also felt I had left into the crowded night streets and returned, just by the sound of your words.

Love the last line.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by firefangled

Reading this each time, I also felt I had left into the crowded night streets and returned, just by the sound of your words.

Love the last line.

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Thank you so much, Fire. My poem is now somewhat revised and hopefully reads better.

Hi Bar22,

People and stories I like it intense. And stories that swim against the current are my favourite. Or against a certain type of current, the current of the trivial and of the tasteless ...and that's why your text touches me deeply.
I said “text” because to me your creation cannot be inserted into a defined literary genre…is more like a throbbing piece of life.
I'm not sure why but as I read it Milady comes into my mind (The Three Musketeers, Alexandre Dumas).And...
last but not the least ...It's something I know by heart

I can't say that I understand the entire poem. I'm a bit naive as to the places you mentioned as I am not an avid traveller (even though I would love to be/go somewhere else someday!) but your poem inspired me to start writing poetry again for a little while. I think it is brilliant and I hope you keep up the good work. Sorry I couldn't provide much constructive criticism because you are obviously a more seasoned poet than I am but I do like it :) Good day to you sir/mam :)

J'aime bp Bar.





J

This is wild, is the best of ways, though I think the second stanza might be too loaded with imagery, but that is just me, The penultimate stanza I absolutely love. An original and very good poem. It is rare to see something original which is also good nowadays.

Jeos, do you know The Three Musketeers by heart in Portugese???!!! I bow low to you memory. Thanks for your appreciation of my poem, too.
Adolescent, I feel privileged to know this poem has inspired you to write! Keep at it! Thanks for liking my poem.
Jack, je suis ravie, merci!
Alex, thank you kindly. But "wild"? what's "wild"'s "best of ways"? I was hoping I managed somehow to express the powerless in front of a person's suffering... Glad you liked this effort.

Thanks to you all.

Bar,

It is a game of words..."by heart" I was referring to the "live/emotional" content of some verses from your poem.
And by the way it would be an honor to have your opinion - whatever is - on my THE GREATEST LIGHT (There's No World was the old title). Poem that was selected by a fine site "specialised" on mystic poetry - which may explain the silence around it here...perhaps this isn't the most convenient place to expose it... ;-)

A far cry from 'Drink To Me Only With Thine Eyes' *, or is it? Quite a ride, your poem. I had to hold on, but greatly enjoyed it.

*Ben Johnson's 'Sorry. To Celia.'

I'll drink to you Bar, if I had something other then coffee. <3

I enjoyed this a lot, though I would replace the comma before "dry and black." with a "–"

Jeos, I'll look for your poem and will tell you.
ampoule, "Drink To Me Only With Thine Eyes" is a great poem which I didn't know about, I confess, Hawk brought my attention to it. Thanks for having held on till the end...!
Revolte, glad you enjoyed and "drunk to me!" I'll ponder your suggestion.

Thanks to all again.