April '11 Elimination

Please vote for the story you like best and the winner will be taking part in the final vote at the end of the year.

Discussion of the stories, to avoid influencing the outcome of the poll, are not allowed.

If contributers would like to ask questions, they should email us at [email protected].

Please note that the authors agree to keep their identities secret when they enter the competition.
Those who breach this rule will be disqualified automatically.

Good luck, everyone! :)

Competition Rules
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Note: This poll will close on May 1, 2011.

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Thank you everyone who has been reading and voting so far!

Hmmm, Sancho can't decide.

Only four votes? It's almost the middle of the month!

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Originally Posted by Pendragon

Only four votes? It's almost the middle of the month!

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Yes, we are half way through the competition and having only four votes is really disappointing.

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Originally Posted by Scheherazade

Yes, we are half way through the competition and having only four votes is really disappointing.

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It says you have to have 100 posts to enter or vote, it has allowed me to vote so have the rules changed ?
Maybe if a few more members know they can vote now they will.

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Originally Posted by Sancho

Hmmm, Sancho can't decide.

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It's tough, huh; we have alot of talent around here:angelsad2: Are you off the girl scout cookies yet? I just finished a chocolate tuxedo cake and lots of reese cups....

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

It's tough, huh; we have alot of talent around here:angelsad2: Are you off the girl scout cookies yet? I just finished a chocolate tuxedo cake and lots of reese cups....

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‘Zounds! It’s mi buena amiga, Sounds! – Hey, gur-fren. ¿Cómo estás frijole? (How you bean?) :wave:

After last month’s adventures in gluttony, I’ve had to swear off the cookies for a while and hit the GYM! I’m afraid I didn’t have the time earlier to sit down and give an honest reading to these stories – not that I’m a particularly well qualified judge anyway –but it’s been a crazy-busy-weird month.

You see, as of late, I have unwittingly found myself at a HUGE Army post in central Texas, working much too hard, with a bunch of guys who more-or-less dress the same, and who have a great affection for only one adjective in the language. Hint: it starts with ‘F’ and is as versatile as it is fun to say. They also like to use it as a verb, a noun, and when directed at me – a pronoun. If it were somehow expunged from the English language tomorrow, American soldiers would be unable to communicate with each other.

That’s a true story.

Sancho voted!

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Originally Posted by Sancho

Sancho voted!

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http://americansfortruth.com/uploads...okie-small.gif

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Originally Posted by Scheherazade

http://americansfortruth.com/uploads...okie-small.gif

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Ack! Scher!

Temptress!

I can’t…no, really, I can’t…Hmm…Well, maybe just one…One itty-bitty, itsy-bitsy cookie won’t hurt. Will it? Urr…Umm, I’ll just work it off at the gym, a couple extra laps, a couple extra reps, ought to do the trick. Yes excellent. WAIT! I just thought of something. Two is only one more than one. Right? May I have two, please? Wait, wait, WAIT! Ooo that smell. Can’t you smell that smell*…that fresh-baked Toll House Cookie aroma. I’m thinking three isn’t all that many more than two…You know what? I’m going to eat them all. I need to carbo load anyway before getting my sweat on.

*Ronnie Van Zant

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Originally Posted by Sancho

You know what? I’m going to eat them all. I need to carbo load anyway before getting my sweat on.

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Only the first one comes for free, you know...


Someone break the tie, please!

Going once...

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Originally Posted by Scheherazade

Only the first one comes for free, you know...

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Dang it! Caught with my hand in the cookie jar again.
It's the story of my life.

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Originally Posted by Sancho

‘Zounds! It’s mi buena amiga, Sounds! – Hey, gur-fren. ¿Cómo estás frijole? (How you bean?) :wave:

After last month’s adventures in gluttony, I’ve had to swear off the cookies for a while and hit the GYM! I’m afraid I didn’t have the time earlier to sit down and give an honest reading to these stories – not that I’m a particularly well qualified judge anyway –but it’s been a crazy-busy-weird month.

You see, as of late, I have unwittingly found myself at a HUGE Army post in central Texas, working much too hard, with a bunch of guys who more-or-less dress the same, and who have a great affection for only one adjective in the language. Hint: it starts with ‘F’ and is as versatile as it is fun to say. They also like to use it as a verb, a noun, and when directed at me – a pronoun. If it were somehow expunged from the English language tomorrow, American soldiers would be unable to communicate with each other.

That’s a true story.

Sancho voted!

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Yo, my buddy, well, I hope you've been doing some laps for me too. I am currently eating on the beautifully decorated toffee pecan three layer cake I bought for easter, it has tons of icing and is terribly dry; but cost so much and looks so pretty I don't have the heart to dump it...
Hey, I know that word...it should be the first word in the dictionary because it works equally well in any situation. I do find that once I begin to use it, it starts taking over my vocabulary...particularly when I am in devout company.
Ah, Scher has brought out the cookies...don't be fooled by that lovely and innocent avatar, she will have you tell her all of the coutries top secrets after she plies you with all of her marvelous cookies...
Hey Scher, save some for me...

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Originally Posted by Scheherazade

http://americansfortruth.com/uploads...okie-small.gif

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sancho

Ack! Scher!

Temptress!

I can’t…no, really, I can’t…Hmm…Well, maybe just one…One itty-bitty, itsy-bitsy cookie won’t hurt. Will it? Urr…Umm, I’ll just work it off at the gym, a couple extra laps, a couple extra reps, ought to do the trick. Yes excellent. WAIT! I just thought of something. Two is only one more than one. Right? May I have two, please? Wait, wait, WAIT! Ooo that smell. Can’t you smell that smell*…that fresh-baked Toll House Cookie aroma. I’m thinking three isn’t all that many more than two…You know what? I’m going to eat them all. I need to carbo load anyway before getting my sweat on.

*Ronnie Van Zant

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Originally Posted by Scheherazade

Only the first one comes for free, you know...


Someone break the tie, please!

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sancho

Dang it! Caught with my hand in the cookie jar again.
It's the story of my life.

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

Hey Scher, save some for me...

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Sure thing, Sound.

Just remember that only the first one comes for free...

:p

That's what I like to see, and what makes our contest so great. Everyone that entered got at least one vote! So if you do not win, remember you touched someone! Good luck!

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Originally Posted by Scheherazade

Sure thing, Sound.

Just remember that only the first one comes for free...

:p

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Ah, that's how you get us hooked...but everyone knows Sounds can never stop at one.

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Originally Posted by Pendragon

That's what I like to see, and what makes our contest so great. Everyone that entered got at least one vote! So if you do not win, remember you touched someone! Good luck!

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That is a nice thought Pendragon, I wish we could vote for all of them because all touch us in a different way.

http://i971.photobucket.com/albums/a...choscookie.jpg

Well then, I'll just get my own cookie.

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

Hey, I know that word...it should be the first word in the dictionary because it works equally well in any situation. I do find that once I begin to use it, it starts taking over my vocabulary...particularly when I am in devout company.
Ah, Scher has brought out the cookies...don't be fooled by that lovely and innocent avatar, she will have you tell her all of the coutries top secrets after she plies you with all of her marvelous cookies...
Hey Scher, save some for me...

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Ah yes, the devout. You’re right about them. Personally, I like to get drunk and obnoxious around the devout and shout that word at random intervals. It makes a fun word even funner. You know, it’s just a word, but what makes it special is: it’s offensive. And it’s only offensive because it’s meant to be offensive, and the devout know it’s meant to be offensive, and I know that they know that I meant to offend them, and they know that I know that they know that…Well you get the picture. It’s how profanity works. Zounds used to be profane enough to get you burned at the stake, but nowadays when you say it, folks just think you mispronounced the name of a candy bar: Almond Joy’s got nuts, Mounds don’t.

Wow, somehow I made it back around to comfort food again.

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Originally Posted by Sancho

http://i971.photobucket.com/albums/a...choscookie.jpg

Well then, I'll just get my own cookie.

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Is that a Literature Network Forums approved official Short Story Competition promotional cookie???


Going twice...

Oh, now a three way tie?

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Originally Posted by Sancho

http://i971.photobucket.com/albums/a...choscookie.jpg

Well then, I'll just get my own cookie.




Ah yes, the devout. You’re right about them. Personally, I like to get drunk and obnoxious around the devout and shout that word at random intervals. It makes a fun word even funner. You know, it’s just a word, but what makes it special is: it’s offensive. And it’s only offensive because it’s meant to be offensive, and the devout know it’s meant to be offensive, and I know that they know that I meant to offend them, and they know that I know that they know that…Well you get the picture. It’s how profanity works. Zounds used to be profane enough to get you burned at the stake, but nowadays when you say it, folks just think you mispronounced the name of a candy bar: Almond Joy’s got nuts, Mounds don’t.

Wow, somehow I made it back around to comfort food again.

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Yeah, there's so many things I enjoy doing when I don't have my extra conscience (my daughter) at my shoulder telling me I am being inappropriate and offensive. I'm kind of accustomed to being offensive; but it all gets a laugh and a slip on the carpet later, everyone is happy. She is trying to retrain me, at this late date, that these things have lasting consequences...Our children become our parents if we wait long enough:crazy:
I'm trying to figure if I should rise to another teenage rebellion; what do you think Sancho...Sher? I don't know, I never eat any candy that doesn't have a nut in it...or a crackle...or a cream...or a liquor...

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Originally Posted by Scheherazade

Is that a Literature Network Forums approved official Short Story Competition promotional cookie???


Going twice...

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I has a snappy presentation; but those packaged cookies sometimes taste like cooking oil or cardboard...I think Sancho should buy us each one and then we'll vote.

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Originally Posted by Scheherazade

Oh, now a three way tie?

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It's hard to just pick one out of six...

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Originally Posted by Scheherazade

Is that a Literature Network Forums approved official Short Story Competition promotional cookie???

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Nope.

http://i971.photobucket.com/albums/a...nextcookie.jpg

How about this one?

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

I'm trying to figure if I should rise to another teenage rebellion; what do you think Sancho...Sher?

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Oh yeah! Payback time. And that's easy for me to say - my wife and I are childless - we figured our gene pool was inappropriate for reproduction.

Oh, yes... Theatre Cookies with banana, peanut butter and chocolate chunk!

Last one hour to vote!

Congratulations to the author of "Playing the Piano", who is the winner of 2011 April elimination.

I would like to thank everyone who have submitted stories and voted in the competition.

You can now submit your stories for the June elimination round.

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Originally Posted by Sancho

Nope.

http://i971.photobucket.com/albums/a...nextcookie.jpg

How about this one?

Oh yeah! Payback time. And that's easy for me to say - my wife and I are childless - we figured our gene pool was inappropriate for reproduction.

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Yeah, I got a lucky break considering my gene pool. I think a person is relatively safe with one offspring; but each time you take from the pool is a greater risk:ack2

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Scheherazade

Oh, yes... Theatre Cookies with banana, peanut butter and chocolate chunk!

Last one hour to vote!

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Now that cookie is just scary, and what would it taste like? Banana usually drowns out any other flavor and so does peanut butter...of course, it would probably be Elvis' favorite cookie..

Hi all,

I'm pretty certain I'm being dense, but where can I read the five stories that LitNetters voted for in this poll?

Many thanks,
DH

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Originally Posted by DocHeart

Hi all,

I'm pretty certain I'm being dense, but where can I read the five stories that LitNetters voted for in this poll?

Many thanks,
DH

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The stories are removed once the competition is over. If the writers prefer to do so, they can post their stories themselves later on.

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Originally Posted by Scheherazade

The stories are removed once the competition is over. If the writers prefer to do so, they can post their stories themselves later on.

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Many thanks for this. :)