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i
The clouds overhead were somehow
unsure of themselves, temporary,
hardly any cover for the sun.
While I waited for Andrea
to return from the drugstore, I kept an eye
on the half-moon in the morning sky.
ii
People have asked me
why so many of my poems
end so abruptly
as if there were something more
to be said, but when I have spoken
my inspiration, the last, unspoken line
is God be with you - good-bye.
as if there were something more
to be said
I really like that..I think because I feel often when writing myself...and probably because I just talk so freakin' much that it seems like an art to know when to shut the hell up.
And God be with you, PrinceMyshkin
Et cum spritum tue, meus Regulus.
I am tempted to quote the Nunc Dimitis,
"Lord now letest thou thy servant depart in peace: according to thy word..." :D
Ornari res ipsa negat, contenta doceriQuote:
Originally Posted by Hawkman
As you can probably tell, my latin grammar is a bit rusty and I'm having trouble getting the sense of your reply in context. You concluded your poem witht the sentiment , "God be with you..." to which I replied, "and his spirit be with you, my Prince." (as quoted).
Your reply (as I translate it) 'you deny that you are equiped in the subject or happy to instruct.' Alternatively you are saying, I deny the subject honour myself but am happy to teach. Like I said, My grammar is a bit rusty! :D
Oh, my dear friend! May God - that same God that you invoked to be with me and whose existence I am sworn to deny - May God forgive me if I have in the least offended you! The Latin bit I sent you was something I came across in an essay I was reading by De Quincy, which means more or less the thing was perfectly content with the didactic style and refused to be embellished with rhetorical devices. I seized on it just to be mischievous! I do apologize.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hawkman
My dear Prince, I'm not offended in the least, merely amazed that so short a phrase can be translated into so long a sentence! I suspect that out of context it doesn't make as much sense as it should :D I still don't get the relevence to my quote though lol. You know me prince, mischievous is my middle name so never be shy in that respect.
I've been hesitant to comment on this one, as it seemed more like a statement than a poem, and I wanted to wait and see if I could get some more insight from other comments. Well, there have been other comments, but I'm still left to puzzle over this piece myself. Sometimes its best not to "over analyze things." Heard that a few times in my life, actually. I'd say this is a journal entry written in line breaks, capturing a sentimental moment in your life, and sharing a kind thought with the people you care about. We love you too, PM.
I agree that it is a kindness.
It does not ring hollow, from
agnostic, nor atheist. It does
come across as a kind of a dare,
knowing your feelings, though.
If one knew nothing about you,
the poem would be considered
differently, don't you think?
Thank you, Lallison & Hack. And yes, Hack, if my positions weren't so well-known, that "God bless you" would come across quite differently.
I enjoyed the first part of this Prince, as a 'Snapshot' piece, but felt the second part was too self-referential (or maybe reverential?). Still, it's nice to know you listen to your audience!
Ouch! The parenthetical part of this is difficult to swallow. I believe the polarities of my character are Superman/shmuck. As much as possible, I try to operate somewhere between those poles, but you may have caught me leaning a bit too far to the left!Quote:
Originally Posted by blank|verse
A moment of egotistical sublimity perhaps, Prince?! But completely understandable and forgivable.
I like the first part. The ubrupt ending is a perfect little snippet of life. I do not understand the second part. Itis more of an author's note explaining your style. I would leave the first part to stand alone. Your style does not need explanation. Well done.
A fantastic poem filled with beautiful imagery!
Definitely explains your style of writing to me.
Loved it.