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Tumult was my table,
tohu-vavohu my daily bread.
Half my passion
was another man’s fatigue
and I was wandering,
wandering, down a road without a sign
where all the other travellers
were blessed or blind.
The din of life
was loud and overwhelming.
I heard it as if every orchestral player
was playing from a different score.
And I was losing half my mind
along with all the other travellers,
some of whom were blessed,
and some of whom were merely blind.
I am still trying to grasp this one.
I like how the other travellers are blind or blessed (verse 2) and how this comes back into the last verse. It surprised me that you called them "merely blind", I had to check whether it meant "happy" (merrily) or "only" - English is not my native language ;) I wonder which side of the mind is lost, left or right...
"wandering, down a road without a sign". I liked that :D
All in all an intriguing poem, thank you for sharing,
Sapphire.
"Merely blind" was meant to contrast with those who are blessed in that the latter might be blind to the surperficial, material aspects of the world but see more deeply into the underlying truth of it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sapphire
Thanks for your always appreciative responses.
I like this a lot, Prince. So many images. One of my favorite things about an orchestra is when each instrument is 'blind' to the other while warming up, that cacophony of sounds, but when the baton is raised everyone is absolutely in tune ( or should be) to each other.
We certainly do drift in and out of tune on our roads of life.
Wonderful reading of the poem. Thanks for the appreciation of it.Quote:
Originally Posted by ampoule
My original response to this (- this marvelous poem that uses brilliantly the senses of taste, sight, and sound to capture the 'tumult' being depicted, and which reminds me of a comic book story that features a man who knew a city better than most and eventually realizes its power and leaves before he loses himself within it-) was going to be:
"Me too."
But now I'll add:
Tumult is my table too, but at least I'm not eating alone.
well, I think you mean you're sharing my table, but I wish you many of the most cheerful companions, at dinner and everywhere.Quote:
Originally Posted by a_little_wisp
An interesting take on life, i particularly love the way that being 'blessed' is more significant than being 'blind'.
I really like the last 3 verses, but for the life of me I can't figure out what that first one is telling me. But I like it the most.
The last four lines are the best, but I'd wish that the whole poem
had rhymed as well. I read this as one wandering in the desert for 40 years, or perhaps 40 days and 40 nights.
In any event, the piece has an integral power.
My apologies for not responding to you or Breathtest or Pablo Q sooner but I was computerless for a week, hellish! As for the rhyming it is and will likely always be an issue for me. I resist doing it unless I feel I can do so unobtrusively.Quote:
Originally Posted by AuntShecky
Prince, I must have missed this a few days ago. You are in some groove. Everything you write lately is wonderful. This too. I had a lump in my throat as I read and re-read the second stanza.
Oh, I feel that tangibly, really feel that. It hits a chord. You have to understand, my father was blind.Quote:
and I was wandering,
wandering, down a road without a sign
where all the other travellers
were blessed or blind.
Blind he may have been, but perhaps he was possessed of in-sight and passed it on to you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Virgil
I love it. I think it describes life and living very well, and knowledge and wisdom and insight-and knowing what's important and what isn't.
Personally, I would prefer the last line to read "...and some of whom were merely blind."
But I think I'll continue to like it, whatever it says. (I'm glad you survived your week without a computer...a trifle addicted to the internet are we?:))
But that's exactly how it does end!Quote:
Originally Posted by qimissung
I actually did a double-take when I read this! :D
Good! I was hoping to surprise and please you. :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by qimissung