Tender Skin Devoid of Artifice

Only connect.
Only glance, look, perceive.
Only listen, hear, and understand.
Only touch so lightly with one fingertip
The skin of another, feel their blood, bones, nerves,
Soul vibrate and spring to life under your look,
Your touch, your understanding, like a painting
Springing from an artists’ brush, a poem from a poets’
Pen. Feel the downey hairs on their arm,
Tender skin devoid of artifice on the inside of the
Wrist; clasp their hand, feel the weight of it
In yours, sturdy and thick like a peasants’,
Or fine-boned and delicate as a baby’s heartbeat.
Run your finger along their brow-does it
Arch, protrude? Is it proud or meek?
A brain as fine as yours lies behind
It, as beneath our feet lie caverns,
Reservoirs of water, plates, earth, and a
Molten core, spinning, without which we would
Not exist. Think you, as you withdraw your hand,
That you know this person? Peer into their
Living eye-what do you see? You can never
Know, but never can you refuse the
Dictum that came with your birth.
Only connect.


Qimissung
August 24, 2008

My God - this is marvellous! And as tactile-feeling as what it speaks about! The rush of it, the indisputable authority of it!

One minor (?) quibble: The inverted "Think you" has far too anachronistic, self-conscious a quality against the spontaneous feel of the rest of the diction.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin

My God - this is marvellous! And as tactile-feeling as what it speaks about! The rush of it, the indisputable authority of it!

One minor (?) quibble: The inverted "Think you" has far too anachronistic, self-conscious a quality against the spontaneous feel of the rest of the diction.

---

I agree it has the stuff you wrote. These are the makings or elements that go into the composition of a poem.

"You can never
Know, but never can you refuse the
Dictum that came with your birth.
Only connect."

Those are my favorite lines. You have really accomplished something great in this poem, I love it!

This was like seeing words and thought in a new dimension...two thumbs (devoid of artifice) UP!


goldenrod.

This begins with a profound note and then never lets up. Amazing!

Walt Whitman once said (and I am paraphrasing) that to connect or touch another human being was as much as he could stand of ecstasy.

Thank you, PrinceMyshkin, blazeofglory, paperleaves, goldenrod, and firefangled, thank you very much. All of you are writers whose works I admire, and what you have said and your enthusiasm for this means a great deal. You know those words 'only connect' are the first words of the novel "Howard's End." I have always loved them, they've rattled around in my brain for quite awhile now. I thought I would write something with them or around them someday, and now I have.

As for the phrase that starts "Think you...", think of it as a change in the tone of the poem. The whole thing is somewhat somber in tone, but as the hand is being withdrawn, the narrator becomes somewhat stern and formal. I think in that sense, the current wording works. It fits my sense of rhythm, such as it is. Your input, Prince, and everyone, is always appreciated, as I have found all of you to be quite astute observers of human nature and literature.

Qimissung, this is excellent. Viceral, like a heartbeat. Wonderful rhythm, and these phrases which stand out, suddenly. Like:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by qimissung

Only touch so lightly with one fingertip
The skin of another,

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by qimissung

...your understanding, like a painting
Springing from an artists’ brush, a poem from a poets’
Pen.

---

Quote:

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Originally Posted by qimissung

Tender skin devoid of artifice on the inside of the
Wrist;

---

Quote:

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Originally Posted by qimissung

Or fine-boned and delicate as a baby’s heartbeat.

---

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by qimissung

A brain as fine as yours lies behind
It, as beneath our feet lie caverns,
Reservoirs of water, plates, earth, and a
Molten core, spinning, without which we would
Not exist.

---

As a poem it carries the reader along, and it made me think of a blind person sensing another person through the power of touch. Nice.

Thank You FifthElement! :):):)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by qimissung

Only connect.
Only glance, look, perceive.
Only listen, hear, and understand.
Only touch so lightly with one fingertip
The skin of another, feel their blood, bones, nerves,
Soul vibrate and spring to life under your look,
Your touch, your understanding, like a painting
Springing from an artists’ brush, a poem from a poets’
Pen. Feel the downey hairs on their arm,
Tender skin devoid of artifice on the inside of the
Wrist; clasp their hand, feel the weight of it
In yours, sturdy and thick like a peasants’,
Or fine-boned and delicate as a baby’s heartbeat.
Run your finger along their brow-does it
Arch, protrude? Is it proud or meek?
A brain as fine as yours lies behind
It, as beneath our feet lie caverns,
Reservoirs of water, plates, earth, and a
Molten core, spinning, without which we would
Not exist. Think you, as you withdraw your hand,
That you know this person? Peer into their
Living eye-what do you see? You can never
Know, but never can you refuse the
Dictum that came with your birth.
Only connect.


Qimissung
August 24, 2008

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I'm so happy that my own use of that phrase by EM Forster brought me back to this magnificent poem. Your reiteration of that phrase at the end - so naked, so apparently effortless a thing to do - is spine-tingling.

Qim, this is marvelous poem having a profound voice! Your poem has strong vibes and used metaphors are nicely connected! Keep up your good work! ~Dib

Thank you, Prince and dibyendra. You are both the sweetest kindest, most generous people. I am so lucky and honored to share in this forum with you both. Thank you, Prince, for bringing this out again, my friend.

I have only just seen this poem which I think is marvellous. I do have a quibble with it though. It's that collumn of 'Only'. The first one is fine but I wonder if you dorpped the other three whether the poem wouldn't be improved.

Anyway, It's really good. H

you have taken a single blade of grass and revealed every aspect of its beauty. well done!

Thank you, Hawkman and Delta!

I will consider your suggestion, Hawkman, but all the words I write are golden nuggets of joy and beauty and truth. :D

Qimissung! you posted this original and so fine a poem long before I was here a member. After quite a long time now (where have you been... :)?), what a pleasure to read again your impeccable verse, full of depth charm and beauty! This poem deserves to be pubished...!

With warmest regards, and thanks for this one - Bar

Wow, an immense thanks to Prince for bumping this superlative poem. What a miniature masterpiece! Every line is so striking it's almost breathtaking. I can definitely hear the echoes of this piece in Prince's latest poem, and both are excellent complements to the other. This is truly poetry at its most humane, and its most visual, and perhaps its most poetic and pure. Just an outstanding work, Qimi. One that definitely deserves to be published.

Thank you, Bar and Morpheus. Words of praise from you two mean a lot. :)