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so, iv'e been thinking a lot.. and i was wondering what you guys thought about a "good reason" for hitting a girlfriend/wife??? is there ever a reason good enough. i know abused gfs or wifes tend to think they deserve it...but is there a good enough reason for abuse, can anything justfiy that? if so what?
Hell No.
there's no reason to abuse anyone, neither psychologically nor physically. for we tend to carry the scars of the abuse for as long as we live, both in body and soul.
The only reason to hurt someone is if you both agreed to participate on, oh you know, and even then, you should exercise caution.
There's no reason to hurt any living being if you can prevent it and people who do so should be punished severely.
Unless that person is trying to end your life or harm someone else and you have to stop them, no way, never. And then that is n ot abuse.
For one person to believe he or she has the right to inflict physical or emotional pain on anyone else is to me a serious mental defect, a god complex. That one needs to go to anger management, counselling and if needed.......jail.
There should be no excuse.Quote:
Originally Posted by stephofthenight
dittoQuote:
Originally Posted by Lote-Tree
Agreed - abuse is abuse. There is never a good reason for violence.
Ah, but there is. I believe physically punishing someone leaves a far better impression than any other form of punishment, at least in my experience. For disciplinary purposes, I think physical punishment is sometimes necessary.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bakiryu
People who don't learn from being punished weren't punished hard enough.
Wait a second, I'm a little befuddled at your last statement. How should these "abusers" be punished? Since the answer of this question would be based on opinion, there must be some people who then either think they were "let off the hook" or abused.
As a topic similar to this was discussed in a previous thread and got not only heated but a bit too personal, i would like to request that people willing to participate in this topic dont get personal in their posts, give their general opinon and respect the opinion of others. Thank you.:)
Nothing that I can think of. Abuse is abuse, and imo totally unacceptable. I have on occasion used force to defend myself, but that is something entirely different.Quote:
Originally Posted by stephofthenight
/Claes
Yes I agree. Defending oneself is different, it's not abuse to me.Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaesGefvenberg
I see no valuable reason to abuse someone either.
Also, I think that physical punishment is too much of an easy solution for discipline.
Isn't the fact that it is unacceptable part of the definition of "abuse"?
There is never a reason, other than self defence. Period.Quote:
Originally Posted by stephofthenight
Not true. People only learn fear from punishment.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dori
Abusers should be put on a position of powerlessness and let their victims do what they did to them while they are on a position of powerlessness.
Yes, you are correct (with your second statement, at least). People should be able to connect this fear with their act of wrongdoing, therefore making it less likely that they'll repeat this wrongdoing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bakiryu
Revenge never solves anything.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bakiryu
this fear is usually associated with the person who administers the punishment, not with the action you were punished for itself.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dori
The criminal systems, jails and courts are all just sanctioned revenge. retribution is not revenge.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dori
or is it keeping criminals from harming others?Quote:
Originally Posted by Bakiryu
If revenge doesn't solve anything, why would abuse solve anything? It is funny that it works in one way and not in the other. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Dori
I agree with Baki, physical punishment is not the solution to me. It is an easy way out that people use with kids instead of talking to them and try to see why they act this or that way.
Abuse is wrong, but self defese is perfectly acceptable. As far as kids go, and I'm talking about toddlers who are unable to reason yet, there is a very big difference between abuse and discipline that too many people have crossed. I'd say more, but then I'd get personal.
both. since criminals are prevented from harming others AND punished from the harm they did.Quote:
Originally Posted by papayahed
Not exactly true. Criminals in prisons harm other people almost everyday all around the world (even if they are other criminals). Heck! Some even lose their lives at the hands of others, beaten up so badly that they cant survive the injuries. And before anyone even thinks of saying "they are criminals so they deserve it", do you think someone who stole, should be delt with at the hands of a cold blooded murderer and assaulter?Quote:
Originally Posted by Bakiryu
i agree.Quote:
Originally Posted by Niamh
oh and about abuse, I think it's wrong. The abused and abuser will both become victims.
My husband says if I ever talk during his New England Patriots game again while they are having the perfect season I may experience it. (kidding, of course.) Girlfriend/Boyfriend/Wife/Husband ...Never. No excuse.
Expecially children. Thats a little harsh.
How do you figure, the abuser is a victum?
This brings up an interesting point.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bakiryu
Although I've never experienced any torture (or any severe punishment for that matter), I have read about it. [SPOILER ALERT! IF YOU HAVEN'T READ 1984, STOP READING] George Orwell, in his novel 1984, depicted Winston as loving O'Brien, the person who administered his torture. This is because Winston knew O'Brien could take away the pain. In other words, Winston associated the coming of pain with his incorrect responses, rather than associating the pain with O'Brien.
I realize this is somewhat irrelevant to this discussion, but I thought it to be interesting enough to post it anyway.
I think there's a difference between revenge and justice. But I understand you're point nonetheless.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bakiryu