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There are some people in this world that believe that guys and girls can't be friends. It is for this reason that I dislike those people. :flare: Recently, my best guy friend hooked up with my best chick friend. Everything was fine til it all went downhill. She got jealous, blah blah blah, and gave me a threatening note saying, "stay away form MY boyfriend." No talking, no hanging, no nada. I can't lose my best friends, What do i do?
please, HELP!!
got an :idea: share it here.
What do people who think boys and girls shouldn't be friends have to do with your problem?!
And about your problem, since they're both your best friends, I say you sit and have a serious talk with them, see what went wrong. Or maybe just take it up to your girlfriend, see why she feels threatened by you.
I would stay away..from her ;)
I used to believe that women and men can be friends..i am having second thoughts lately..perhaps they can be friends ( i mean true friends) if there wasn't a sexual attraction in the first place.
Oh, wow. I've never thought about it that way. I've been grappling with similar issues myself. That makes sense! How could I not have thought about that?! Duh!!Quote:
Originally Posted by manolia
To the OP- I believe your girlfriend is jealous. I would definitely have a talk with her and explain that you and her boyfriend have been friends before they hooked up. Tell her that you understand her jealousy but really has nothing to worry about. Hopefully that will clear things up.
Well, start seriously talking to your chick friend and say that you aren't interested in the guy friend as a fiance. If she continues to say the "stay away form MY boyfriend," then it is preferable that you and this chick friend weren't friends in the first place. Then have a chat with the guy friend.Quote:
Originally Posted by smartgirl
That is SO stupid. Sorry about that. She's obviously not a real friend of yours if she's going to act like that.Quote:
Originally Posted by smartgirl
:lol: Sorry, I couldn't resist.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lily Adams
I always find it funny how paranoid teens get about thier boy/girl friends. Shouldn't there be at least some level of trust in a relationship?
I agree with Lily, what kind of friend would put her silly jealousy before you?
Love messes everything up. Or maybe it is being a teenager that does that. More specifically, being a teenager with hormones....
Anyhoo, don't get mad at her or add drama to the situation, it will only throw you guys further apart. Try to talk it out calmly with her, maybe get your guy friend to talk to her too. Make her feel more secure, so she does not have to worry (even if YOU know she doesn't have to). And if she is not willing to be mature about it, leave her alone till she cools off and apologises.
Hope that helps.
What are you laughing at, PUNK?! *punches fist into hand* :p :p :pQuote:
Originally Posted by Dori
Yep, yep, yep...
wow,but i dont get it.why would she do that you havent got her boyfriend away from here .so whats wrong with being friends??
*Runs away and hides in corner* :bawling: MOMMY!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Lily Adams
In my opinion,you should have a long conversation with both your friends and tell them what the problem is.And then,if your girl-friend insists,you must decide your priorities:her or him.Although I'm not convinced that she is a best friend;she doesn't trust you,for a start.
It happened to me once last year. all was well between, me, my girl best friend and my guy best friend (who also happened to be my crush and, quite unfortunately, my girl best friend's former boyfriend), that is, until my girl best friend started flirting with the guy in a possible attempt to get him back and keeping him away from me by busying him with things only he and I would do before. I was angry at the girl, and eventually we drifted apart. The two of them would have lunch in the group of friends where the three of us used to belong, while I would have lunch with a different one. The girls in my new clique were equally kind to me, and welcomed my complaints as they did not like my girl best friend either.Quote:
Originally Posted by smartgirl
I would text the guy often, though, and I thought it better not to let him know. If he found out that the girl and I were not getting along, he might grow suspicious and put and end to our friendship especially if he found out that he was involved. Sometimes he sensed that something was wrong me, and whenever he did, he would assure me that I was still his best friend. After so many days of cold stares and hostile behavior, I grappled with the facts and started up with the dozens, only to find out soon that I was confused. I texted the girl to fill the gaps in the story and hopefully be able to fix things up.
"Am I still your friend? You might say yes, but I don't think you're acting like I'm really your best friend at all. What are you doing to the guy? You're keeping him away from me, teaching him how to backstab me and how to laugh at me. I thought you told me you didn't like him anymore. I thought you liked someone else in your bus. Tell me. I wouldn't mind. If I only serve as a nuisance to you in your plans to get him back, speak up! That's all I'll really need you to do. Tell me. After all, there are so many boys out there. I'll go look for someone else and leave the two of you be. All I ask of you is to let me be his friend, if not his best friend. If I am really your best friend, please reply. Find a way."
A few days later, just before school would end, she replied. "I'm so sorry. I noticed you were mad at me but I couldn't seem to figure out what to say... I know he's your best friend and I know how much you like him... I never thought this would make you jealous or mad. But I don't like him. You must've misunderstood. I used to, but that was so long ago. I was only a child then. It's been so long... and I missed you. Please... you're my best friend. Everything's so damn boring without you."
I'm not so sure if this will apply to you, as the story is a bit different. It seems you do not have any romantic interests in the guy whereas I was hugely infatuated with him. Yet I believe that the most reasonable and highly effective way to solve a friendship problem is to talk things over with BOTH parties; in your case, the guy and the girl. What do you know if he is not really the girl's partner and your chick best friend is simply making things up. Sometimes things aren't really what you see; they might hold hands in the hallway once or act that they are truly in love with one another, but that still doesn't serve as enough proof to the whole world that they are really together. In this case, maybe your chick best friend has a problem; together, you might be able to solve it. So find a way to talk to the guy. Risk it. Even though your best chick friend may have told him not to speak to you anymore, he will always want to do so (for all you know, he might be trying his best to communicate with you), for you are his best friend. It is not at all wrong for you know that YOU have not done anything to them. It is not your fault. Proper timing is the key to this. Even if you get caught, take it as a new opportunity to speak up. Explain. Tell them what you feel. If they continue to deny their faults and carry on with their plans to ditch you, then so be it. It hurts, but you really ought to accept it. Hang out with other people, but be careful not to backstab your old friends. Wait for the time, and you'll see. At first they may have been stubborn, but once they realize that what they'd done was wrong, they'll come back to you. Like our elders say, our friends, like me and you, are only people. Sometimes it just takes so long for some to realize and accept that they have wronged. But it comes. It always will.
Hope this helps. :)
umm in this situation i generaly sit down with them and say look. i dont want to choose between you. but if you continue to tell me to stay away from him, as me you and him where friends before you 2 started dating than maybe me and you shouldnt be friends. I shouldnt have to choose between you now just because you are dating him, this should make the three of us closer, not tear us apart.
It is hard to give advice really, but if I were in that situation I would do what my girlfriend asked of me, well told me to do, just get busy with other things and stay away. One day either things will be worked out between them or they will go their separate ways and you will be able to carry on without any hatred or bitterness or resentment toward you. Just lie low.
Probably she thinks (or it really is) that mutual guy-friend of yours is interested in you romantically or something? Poor you. I hope things get better for you and your friends.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pensive
thanxs guys!(by guys I mean everyone; girls and guys alike)
pen, we actually used to date. but then he moved away, came back and asked me out again. I had to say no because I was afraid of what would happen if i said yes.
I think he still likes me, but maybe I'm just being paranoid.
thanx for the relation but i don't think I could've quoted it all.Quote:
Originally Posted by RoCKiTcZa
I actually used to date him. We're (or were because of the girlfriend thing) best friends, but I am still totally falling for him, I'm sure he knows.
The bad part is...the rest of the story:
She told me i was being trampy this year because it looks like to her that I was hanging all over him. Apparently she told that to everyone else. Now they all think I'm trampy.
I'm not sure if I should talk to him because of the whole "stay away" thing.
Still, she can't tell me who i can and can't talk to, right?
well, thanx everyone! I'll be back to talk later.
advice helps. I've learned that. Now, thanx to all of you, We are now all friends. I still can't be alone with him, but it doesn't mean I have to be with her, when I am with him. It just has to be me and him with some person. Well, I now have resolved most of the problem. Now, What do i do about the liking him situation?
P.S. I'll still take suggestions to the stay away problem.