*Le Gasp* Lily Adams Has Written Poetry!

I'm really not a poet. This is probably the best poem I've ever written. My "creative outlet" is drawing and I'm not even very good at that, so don't expect too much.

We had to write a Shakespearean Sonnet for English, and here's mine:

Hark, turn your face upward to the night sky
which Nyx has spread her dark torn wings across.
The tears reveal glowing orbs up so high
and they shine brightly for the daytime's loss.*
Look closely and see the clusters of light
turn into a stunning great galaxy.
Softly fall upon your face stardust might
as the glowing stars sway and dance lightly.
Glowing blues, yellows, and reds leap as one
and too soon sadly must shrink and decease.
Mourn not: those cherished orbs are not done:
they shall return to shower Earth with peace.
For every death oh so grevious
a re-birth occurs which is glorious.

*A friend of mine wrote this line. Heh heh. ^^' What? She just kind of took it and wrote in that line. Here she's AdoreroDio.

Comments? Criticism? The last two lines really bug me and I think maybe sometimes I sound like Yoda or something the way the I say my sentences. *shrug*

Spaaaaace. <3

Wow. That's beautiful. You kinda sound like him *smiles*

Wow. Thanks. I never thought someone would call it "beautiful".

Yes, yes...Yoda. :lol:

Thats very good! And it is beautiful!
Fancy trying the form contest? its a type of sonnet at the moment!(only three days left though!)

Very Good! I love it- except for the spelling error- "mourn". LOL. I really really like it- you should write more often even though I also know how hard it is for you to write poetry at all, let alone good one's like this. It is very beautiful. You'll make Ms.Gant proud. LOL. It's better than mine too. Anyways- yes I am that infamous one-line writer *bows*

Lovely sonnet! Try writing more of them! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l1...s/ThumbsUp.gif

Thank you, all of you!

I'm too shy to enter in a contest! Maybe...:blush:

Ha ha. I fixed the spelling error. I'm usually the one who is picky about that! XD

I have gotten praise from the infamous Pendragon...I feel honored. *bows humbly*

Lily Adams, hi, Wow, I loved your sonnet! It is beautiful. I can relate to what you said since I, too, am more of an artist than a poet. but I have to say there have been some terrific artists who also were poets. You know both forms are so 'visual' and it is obvious from your poem/sonnet you are a very 'visual' person.
It amazes me how everyone who claims they can't write a descent poem comes up with something extraordinary. Where have they been hiding?
Lily Adams - "You are a poet and you don't know it!"
:thumbs_up I really commend you and please do enter the contest. I think you have a good chance of winning....Madame Shakespeare.:)

I must tell you Janine that knowing Lily in real life I know very well that it is extremely amazing that she ever wrote this wonderful of a poem. No offense to her but all of her other poems....well weren't really poems at all. She really isn't a poet- she is a cartoonist (that's the best word I could come up with Lily). So yes, this poem is marvelous but don't expect to see much more poems from her....

you've shown great ability Miss lily! maybe you have found the form most suitable to you!

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Originally Posted by Lily Adams

Thank you, all of you!

I'm too shy to enter in a contest! Maybe...:blush:

Ha ha. I fixed the spelling error. I'm usually the one who is picky about that! XD

I have gotten praise from the infamous Pendragon...I feel honored. *bows humbly*

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Infamous? Porquoi?

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l1...Kane/Franz.gif

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Originally Posted by Pendragon

Infamous? Porquoi?

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l1...Kane/Franz.gif

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You are more or less noted as the master poet of the site and to get a complement from you means alot to us Pen.:)

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Originally Posted by Niamh

You are more or less noted as the master poet of the site and to get a complement from you means alot to us Pen.:)

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Ah. shucks! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l1...Embarassed.gif There are many others I'd place above myself, and that isn't false modesty...

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Originally Posted by Janine

Lily Adams, hi, Wow, I loved your sonnet! It is beautiful. I can relate to what you said since I, too, am more of an artist than a poet. but I have to say there have been some terrific artists who also were poets. You know both forms are so 'visual' and it is obvious from your poem/sonnet you are a very 'visual' person.
It amazes me how everyone who claims they can't write a descent poem comes up with something extraordinary. Where have they been hiding?
Lily Adams - "You are a poet and you don't know it!"
:thumbs_up I really commend you and please do enter the contest. I think you have a good chance of winning....Madame Shakespeare.:)

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Yes,I am quite visual. I need to read things to understand them.
This is my best poem, and the other ones that I've written stink. :sick:

I've entered the contest! :blush:

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I must tell you Janine that knowing Lily in real life I know very well that it is extremely amazing that she ever wrote this wonderful of a poem. No offense to her but all of her other poems....well weren't really poems at all. She really isn't a poet- she is a cartoonist (that's the best word I could come up with Lily). So yes, this poem is marvelous but don't expect to see much more poems from her....

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Yeah, I know. When I wrote it I had this massive vomiting of creativity.

Aw, come now, you liked my one about Lennie from Of Mice and Men. Well I think you were just being nice or something. :lol:

My love of then night and space inspired me. <3 I'm such a night person.

Yes, don't...I can just barely write poetry. I think the only reason that this one is so good is that I knew the rules and it was very structured.

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Infamous? Porquoi?

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You are more or less noted as the master poet of the site and to get a complement from you means alot to us Pen.

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Exactly. :)

Hey everyone, I wrote another poem type thing. I have to write a Greek Chorus on a "current event". Again, I have no clue how to write a poem except a fairly decent sonnet. I don't have backround and I don't know the rules. Sorry.

So, while contemplating what I should write about, I thought, "I don't want to do something common like global warming." I wanted to think outside the box.

So I thought of fundamentalists. You know, "my way or the highway".

Heavily inspired by Jihad Jerry and the Evildoers, so that means it's controversial.
http://www.mineisnotaholywar.com/

http://i198.photobucket.com/albums/a...jihadjerry.jpg

"My Way"

Pretending to see, hear, and speak no evil; seemingly pure and white.
Yet still forcing opinions and their bias.

Controlling and manipulating your mind so subtly via mass media.
My way is better than your way because someone told me so.

Death, pain, and suffering is rampant because of “my way”.
Sunni versus Shi'ite,
Believer versus non-believer,
My way of life versus your way of life.

My way is better than your way because someone told me so.
I am special and you are not.

Humans are naturally irrational, but remember:
“You look through your glasses and the rest of the world looks at them.”





So I'd like some advice...additions, corrections, etc. You know the deal. Gotta print it up by tomorrow, though.

I'm also making a really neat drawing/collage thing to go with it. I feel so inspired...

Gerald Vincent Casale FOR PRESIDENT.

Marvellous,marvellous, Lily! The sonnet is just great. I can only repeat what the others said.
The other poem is very very very good! Wonderful way of commenting the ''my way is better than yours'' self-centred idea. I loved it! I especially like the

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''You look through your glasses and the rest of the world looks at them.”

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verse which is astonishing and which goes perfectly for an end!!! I am talking very seriously when I say you should go on writing poems. Your style will improve with each poem you write! And this is a great start!

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My way is better than your way because someone told me so.

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so brutal but true! you're a new modern poet! This age is talking through you! LOVELY!

Aw, downing, thank you sooo much! When I have to write, I really try, but I'm an artist. That "you look through your glasses" line was stolen, I didn't make it up. That's why it's in quotes. But thank you. :D I love that line and it's a great summary. But your comments are probably the best I've ever got from people about anything that I've done. Thank you. I want to speak out about the world. But through my drawings.

I too think this is beautiful, Lily. In my experience, I've seen extremely good poetry coming from someone who usually finds expression in some other way.

I know a painter in Rhode Island who writes the way he thinks for painting, and the results are astounding.

Give us more, when the spirit moves you. Thanks.

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Originally Posted by Lily Adams

Hey everyone, I wrote another poem type thing. I have to write a Greek Chorus on a "current event". Again, I have no clue how to write a poem except a fairly decent sonnet. I don't have backround and I don't know the rules. Sorry.

So, while contemplating what I should write about, I thought, "I don't want to do something common like global warming." I wanted to think outside the box.

So I thought of fundamentalists. You know, "my way or the highway".

Heavily inspired by Jihad Jerry and the Evildoers, so that means it's controversial.
http://www.mineisnotaholywar.com/

http://i198.photobucket.com/albums/a...jihadjerry.jpg

"My Way"

Pretending to see, hear, and speak no evil; seemingly pure and white.
Yet still forcing opinions and their bias.

Controlling and manipulating your mind so subtly via mass media.
My way is better than your way because someone told me so.

Death, pain, and suffering is rampant because of “my way”.
Sunni versus Shi'ite,
Believer versus non-believer,
My way of life versus your way of life.

My way is better than your way because someone told me so.
I am special and you are not.

Humans are naturally irrational, but remember:
“You look through your glasses and the rest of the world looks at them.”





So I'd like some advice...additions, corrections, etc. You know the deal. Gotta print it up by tomorrow, though.

I'm also making a really neat drawing/collage thing to go with it. I feel so inspired...

Gerald Vincent Casale FOR PRESIDENT.

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I'm glad Downing brought this back up and yikes! I just spilled my guts on Blaze's poem about being 'see, hear, speak no evil'. Does honest confession count for anything? ;)
I like both of your poems here and I like the way you think outside the box. I would love to see that collage. Do you ever post pictures of your work?

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Originally Posted by firefangled

I too think this is beautiful, Lily. In my experience, I've seen extremely good poetry coming from someone who usually finds expression in some other way.

I know a painter in Rhode Island who writes the way he thinks for painting, and the results are astounding.

Give us more, when the spirit moves you. Thanks.

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Aw, geez, you guys, thanks!

No, thank YOU!

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Originally Posted by ampoule

I'm glad Downing brought this back up and yikes! I just spilled my guts on Blaze's poem about being 'see, hear, speak no evil'. Does honest confession count for anything? ;)
I like both of your poems here and I like the way you think outside the box. I would love to see that collage. Do you ever post pictures of your work?

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That's what I was going for. :D

Thank you!

Here it is: http://i198.photobucket.com/albums/a...c/MyWay2-1.jpg

But later after that was taken I wrote in pen "patrolling the streets with all of their friends, bashing you around trying to make you like them" on it which is a line from an Oingo Boingo song-"What You See".

I have also since then evolved with my art skills. :blush: I kinda still suck at arms, though.

I wrote this sonnet a month back or so for English class:

Soft static behind vinyl music played,
Ancient magazine pages faded pale,
Old fashions of the best quality made,
Things that to others have gone all too stale.
The fact that there were others before you-
A star’s light requires time to get here,
Reading books is traveling through time, too-
Gaze upon a gravestone; think of their fear,
My way of life and thought is obsolete.
I never belonged here, that’s something sure.
Time confusion is something I can’t beat,
Past to the future my warps have no cure.
Connection to another dimension,
Current living is not my intention.