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At the hotel restaurant
in Paris
at the table next to me
a couple who've been married
since just before the invention of pain.
He looks past her shoulder
into the middle distance
as if he might find a thought there
somewhere, she
looks down, to the left of him, wondering
where the years have gone.
This is the first time I've had the pleasure of reading your poetry, and I am wowed. How evocative, just in a few simple lines.
Jerry, this feels kind of familiar but I'm not sure why. Nice, but sad.
how sad Jerry. You must feel melancholy after returning home. Coming and going- it’s bitter sweet.
Yes, I guess that couple were there to provide me an outlet for my disappointment, but Sophie and I have never lacked for things to say to each other, and I doubt we ever will.Quote:
Originally Posted by motherhubbard
Given the deep respect I have for your literary abilities, this means a great deal to me. And may I suggest you check outQuote:
Originally Posted by BeccaT
a poem of mine that I'm especially proud of.
God forbid that the familiarity is owing to you having been in the same situation!Quote:
Originally Posted by TheFifthElement
But if you ever recollect some other piece of writing this reminds you of, do please let me know.
Very elegant poem. It's full of longing. It's sad, but thought provoking. Congradulations.
I love it, Schwee! :) The second stanza is very strong, it makes the reader think.
You never cease to amaze me with your “Snapshots” in words. One can almost see the elderly couple through your eyes, as they sit at their table, seemingly each lost in memories they share but cannot seem to connect…
short and bittersweet. Lines 3-6 are the best.
No one has ever described one of my poems as "elegant" before nor was I ever conscious of seeking that reaction, but I am grateful for it. And if I am correct in understanding "elegance" the way scientists sometimes apply it to a theorem - that it expresses itself in the most economical way - then yes, that is one of my ideals re writing poetry: to get to the heart of the matter in the fewest, most appropriate words.Quote:
Originally Posted by Auriga
Funny - what you didn't say, said the most. It is the silence of people who know each other too well - or in most cases, no longer know each other at all.
Very poignant. You make me sad. )-;
Um, Tis better to have loved and lost, than never loved at all?
Don't you want to tell Shakespeare to go burn in the firey tempest every once in awhile?
Sorry for your pain. A melancholy heart is always suceptible to sympathy - so I give it to you.
(PS: Great poem - but that sounds trite. By the above, you know how much I liked it)
Frankly I prefer the variant: Tis better to have loved a short man than never to have loved a tall.Quote:
Originally Posted by Countess
Not really, I'm much too busy grovelling at the feet of WB Yeats.Quote:
Don't you want to tell Shakespeare to go burn in the firey tempest every once in awhile?
You're my buddy. You really are.Quote:
Sorry for your pain. A melancholy heart is always suceptible to sympathy - so I give it to you.
Quote:
(PS: Great poem - but that sounds trite. By the above, you know how much I liked it)
It's a lovely poem. How very strange that something so sad can sould beautiful at the same time.