I thought they did. Jack the Ripper was a guy who killed several prostitutes in late 19th century London.
Why are bubbles always round?
Printable View
I thought they did. Jack the Ripper was a guy who killed several prostitutes in late 19th century London.
Why are bubbles always round?
Because square bubbles aren't hip.
Where did all the Hobbits go?
Gone to dragons, every one.
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?
Does a mobile phone case count as a fashion accessory? (And if not, would some one speak to my niece?)
Anything that costs that much should be treated as jewelry!
Are ghosts real?
Of course goats are real, silly billy.
Does a straight beat a flush?
A straight flush is best, but if that doesn't work, just flush it again.
Is Taylor Swift just a glorified stripper?
Nope, she's the result of a laboratory experiment gone horribly wrong in which the DNA of Jonatnan Swift and Sherriff Andy Taylor has mutated into a single country-music performer organism.
Why must i go before e except after c and when sounding like a as in neighbor and weigh?
Blame the French, the Vikings, and the great vowel shift. Ps the rule is no longer in force!
Have you ever been ghoting?
You should have seen the one that ghot away.
Why is food with fewer chemicals and additives more expensive than the clean & pure stuff?
So glad you asked, C. I have personally uncovered a price-fixing strategy involving certain nefarious government agencies, big pharma companies, factory farming interests, elements of the military industrial complex, and Whole Foods Market, Inc. The scheme was hatched in Houston, Texas by several former executives of the Enron Corporation and financed through a series of complex credit default swaps designed by a former Lehman Brothers VP who now resides in Leavenworth, Kansas.
Farmer Dan doesn't stand a chance.
So then, Joe has twice as many oranges as Emily has bananas, and Norman has five fewer apples than Ann has pears. If Joe's oranges and Ann's pears combine to equal a prime number and Emily's bananas subtracted from Norman's apples equals the square root of Ann's pears, then how many total pieces of fruit do the four have?
If your pears have roots, they aren't pears. If the roots are square, you are in the wrong dimension.
Where do hedgehogs go when there's no hedge?
They go to Hedgehog Heaven through immolation in the sacrificial bonfires of November fifth.
Do chickens really want to cross roads, or are they forced to by precocious Boy Scouts?
They want to cross (because of telepathic messages they receive from "the other side").
Do snails dream of eating the French?
Of course! Revenge is saccharine sweet!
Do you think Stonehenge could be an unfinished giant toilet?
No. Stonehenge is actually the track for a Neolithic elevated monorail train set, presented to the local chief's son on the occasion of his birthday.
Why is custard yellow?
Cowards often are
Why is ice cream cold?
Because, by the time you eat it, it's been dead for at least 48 hours.
Why do people eat popcorn when it tastes like polystyrene?
Hey, why do people wrap things in polystyrene when it looks like popcorn?
Do penguins count as seafood or poultry?
Neither. According to the medieval Catholic Church, they count as fish. Stupid, but true.
What are goats for?
Interesting. They're not kosher, which actually makes a weird kind of sense.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hawkman
Nothing butt trouble.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hawkman
Can you get mad cow disease from cannibalism?
Actually, this isn't true. I was thinking of puffins. My bad, but it's still a stupid answer, so I guess it counts.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hawkman
Can you get mad cow disease from cannibalism? Yes. Especially if you're a mad cow.
What is the most effective way to arrest a fall?
The FBI
What happens when your car runs out of gas near a Colma, California cemetery? (Look it up, you know you want to!)
You are forced to walk, at least until you are bitten by a zombie and forced to take up permanent residence.
Why is a woman shooting a man in the groin with a tazer deemed funny by the makers of an American TV series, when a man kicking a woman in the groin is not?
Because Americans lack that dry British sense of humor.
Who would you want to be chained next to on a Roman galley and why?
Somebody very strong so I can coast while he does the work!
Do you believe in ghosts?
Only if they believe in me.
Are we alone in the universe?
No, just unpopular.
Has the 21st century been a disappointment so far?
Life has been a disappointment so far!
Will man ever reach the stars?
What else are they here for! (rhetorical question)
Has time travel already been performed?
It's performed every day by everything, in one direction, one second at a time.
Why were the Trojans so stupid as to drag a great wooden horse full of battle-hardened assault troops into their city?
Hey, piñatas were large in the Greek Bronze Age!
Is Qatar pronounced "catarrh" or "gutter"? Seriously, I hear both.
It's pronounced "guitar"!
Does anyone really get modern art?
Only chimps, who use it to pass on secret messages about us.
Who would have won a war between Attila the Hun and Robert E. Lee?
Suh, I am Southern, and I doan believe anybody could whup General Robert E Lee in a fair fight! Damn cheating Yankees!
In this day of mixed race marriages, what determines if a mixed race child is one race or the other?
What makes you think that Attila would fight fair? ;-)Quote:
Originally Posted by Pendragon
Nothing but vapid bigotry, a sub-category of human stupidity.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pendragon
EDIT: Oh sorry, um, would you rather have a parrot or a python as a pet?
Nothing but vapid bigotry, a sub-category of human stupidity. BINGO!
At least the python would be silent...
Why are people rude?
Well, I can only speak for myself: it's a response to 1) irrational behavior; 2) manipulative behavior; or 3) the rejection of an offered friendship. Any combination of those will earn you the wrath of Bum.
Would you rather be forced to listen to accordion music or a Celtic Woman concert?
Celtic Women, perhaps they will at least be cute... An accordion is a mutant instrument that was born out of wedlock between the junk store and the trash. NOTHING makes it sound better than two tomcats fighting!
Do you think classical music is groovy?
Only when it's played on vinyl.
What makes music hot?
The little pipes that shoot out flame while Ace Freely is playing a solo
Will people ever get over Justin Bieber already?