Random Thought of the Day

something was said at my local coff shop, our newspaper was late in their delivery, they stalled the final printing, everyone's guess was waiting for the pope to die for the headline.

A man has passed. Rest in peace, Karol Wojtyla (sp?)

as i was falling asleep, it occurred to me that he will probably not have an easy time resting! a very on-the-go, dedicated man, he was. :)

Well I'm in a personal battle against the church these years, but the guy was great indeed... It is quite a historical moment. I'm very curious about the succession

My random thought of today was actually personal (never said I'm not selfish ;)): yesterday i was wondering what was happening to myself. Since I've become more open to the world, I feel I'm going more and more brainless...Where is my poetry, my originality, my difference from the world, my uniqueness...Am I becoming a boring copy of the others? Basically I was almost missing my depression...
But today I'm feeling more like myself cos last night I went out with some of the "normal" youth, and a guy's behaviour reminded me why I spent my teenage years alone: cos most people I knew where like him and I just can't stand people who worship the concept of Saturday night with sentences like "we can't spend a saturday night in an icecream shop" and most of all "why the hell are they talking about such serious topics? It's not a topic for a Saturday night". it pisses me off, I can do anything and talk about anything if I feel like it, I don't feel obliged to act "cool" (cool is in their mind of course) and talk crap just because it's Sat. night. Argh, what a damn mentality.
So I felt that I'm still not totally part of what I call "the world of normal youth", cos even if the other people were nice and fun, I didnt feel I belonged totally to their world anyway. And in a way I was relieved...I'm not omologated yet...

damn... some french guy/girl is suposed to stay at my place for a week. arriving in a couple of days... why the hell have i entered this stupid school exchange? i don't have any idea what he/she's like and with my luck, he/she'll be just like one of those people koa described above, self-sufficient and sooo "cool" and "trendy" or whatever they're called... and i'll probably wanna kick his/her butt right outta my house, and we'll hate each other, and i'll waste time... like always. missed enough school already for a stupid contest...
crap.

What I wouldn't give for a good old serious group discussion in an ice cream shop on Sat. night. I had two grps of friends (I'm a little older than you Koa), thru teens, early 20's, one was a bunch of vacuums, no debates, no current events (unless you count gossip), the other, high intellects, but felt they were elitists. Didn't fit in really with either, so uncomfortable. It's great to be in the latest fashion, lovely looks, prestige, but really, it comes down to having a nice house but nobody is home. Would have been nice to have a hybrid of the two. Now, I have husband who thinks his harley is the topic for every discussion, friends who only talk of their kids, work, etc. No wonder we go to a small corner of the room, write, draw, think, at least we get what we want, you know?

Wow......lhaeber......in my mind I just incorporated your signature phrase into your little note above...........my own intrepretation slipped in there... *jeez I'm weird*

I think it is so crucially important to be ourselves. This can be most difficult with ongoing relationships. People don't like change. Personal growth upsets a comfortable balance between friends, spouses, etc. I change so often, find new interests at a dizzying rate, and this often confuses those close to me. But I cannot live my life for the benefit of others, though I would never go out of my way to injure someone's feelings or expectations. The Ice Cream Shop sounds like fun, and like all experiences, it should be an experience to savour, but alas this particular activity is attractive only for some. And that is okay too. Onward and upward to a full life, and best wishes to those who will not sit and chat at the parlour. All we can ask of our friends/relations is the space to be allowed to be ourselves. Surely they can grant us this simple wish.......

When I am myself, maybe quietly thinking and not pleasing everyone around me, then ultimately I am asked, what is wrong? Pleasing others THEIR way is a fact of life, I cannot contentedly behave the way I wish when in company of others who are extremely extroverted or those whose only subject matter is flat, empty topics. I find it selfish (my own issue) to read while my son flitters around me, so I have to pay attention to him. Same as in high school for example, impossible to wear what you want, carry what you want, without drawing attention and then having to respond. It's so hard to advise my son, be yourself, when being yourself, not conforming, attracts negative attention. Don't get me wrong, it can work, but you have to have such a strong sense of self initially, and that comes with time, experience. I don't even feel I have it yet, at my age, yet I am calm, cool and collected with myself. Hell, I like me. But asking others to let me be me in their company is excrutiating. That's why, I suppose, strangers are so enticing, I can breathe. What I wouldn't give, to travel as you have...why does that make me think of Johnathan Livingston Seagull?

...all good stuff.....thanks for sharing.....

I've raised children as well, and they have inherited my love of adventure, my need to understand my world and a sense that enlightenment is a critically important goal. .....but at my age (47) I've no great yearning to parent again......it is tough work no matter how you approach it. I started throwing the kids out of airplanes when they reached 18yrs old.....great fun if your a parent...something to look forward to... ( :

And...

.....yeah......good old Johathan Livingston Seagul.............he had a bit of a messy end though didn't he? I suppose my own approach to life, trying everything, trying to see everything, attemting to accumulate as many experiences as possible may also lead to some abrupt end, but then life is so short that abrupt endings are really the norm......

I love an abrupt ending. Not that I wish it for you though. Fading out would be nicer.
I've been thinking about my own version of hell this morning, being agnostic and all, I wonder where I will go because I've been killing slugs in my yard this morning and it just doesn't feel right.
I also wonder what baby came into the world at the same time the pope left. And lastly, can the Swiss Guard really feel masculine in all that wardrobing?

I was wondering that same thing about the Swiss guard, can they take themselves seriously? Are there like 2 types of swiss guards, the "ornamental" guards and the badass, kill you just as soon as look at you guards?

I love that, ornamental. I mean, really, puffy sleeves? Unless they're hiding weapons in them, what's the point? Although ninja outfits would take away from the whole peace and serenity aspect of the vatican, I would take it more seriously.

Does one really want armed assins that kill someone without flinching... in the vatican... the capital of peace??? :confused:

* sorry wrong thread.

all's forgiven!

My fish tank is finally clean.