If you were a...

Venus flytrap.

If you were a portrait of a royal, which royal would you be?

Cleopatra

If you were a butterfly which color would you be painted?

Red and red.

If you were a tree, which one would you be?

A dogwood

If you were a cartoon character, which one would you be?

Mickey Mouse

If you were a fish, what would you do to prevent from getting caught?

I'd learn how to swear in Fish ... ;)

If you were a textile, describe yourself ...

glimmering gossamer strands of many colors woven together to form an intricate whole

If you were a famous painting, which one would you be?

The Persistence of Memory - Salvador Dali

If you were a famous dead artist, which on would you be?

Leonardo DaVinci

If you were nerd, what would you name be?

Eugenus. Not a nerdy name as far as I'm concerned, I quite like it.

If you were a form of public transport, what would you be?

Locomotive

If you were an appliance, what would it be?

Hair straightener.

What colour wig would you be?

Bright red...nothing showy though...LOL

If you were a pig, what would your name be?

Ugly.

If you were an adorable fluffy dog, what would your name be?

Ugly

If you were a fly on the wall, what did you hear last?