Litnet's version of Devil's dictionary

Aurora borealis: Beautiful lights in the sky sometimes seen as far South as, well, here in SW Virginia-- as opposed to UFO's, and the lights one sees when one stubs a toe or hits one's funny bone

Toe Tag:

Toe tag: It´s a memory tag that you stick on your toe. You can choose one of the tag colours: blue, green, yellow, pink and, of course, white.

Tornado:

Tornado: The Dust Devil's bigger brother

Waterspout:

Waterspout: a tornado that loves travelling over the sea.

Monsum:

.......

Monsum (or Monsoon): Global wetting

Global warming:

Global warming: A serious problem that the Earth has gone through before and will go again most likely or a total fake depending on your knowledge of how nature works...

Toscin: with a shout out to Cassie on the poetry forums!

Toscin: something that ruminates in one´s belly

Dioxin:

Dioxin: Two bullocks.

Tricycle

Tricycle: Spring, Summer, and Fall

Whole nother:

Whole nother: It´s a whole another that lost an "a" so it´s not whole anymore.

Antonomasia:

Antonomasia:Referring to someone as that bleep of a bleep!

Condescending:

Condescending: getting down the stairs together

Bleep:

Bleep: The shortened form of "black sheep".

Condescending: The result of tossing a burglar through a window.

Junk mail

Junk mail: What a lot of male heartthrobs end up as, such as the jock that stole your girlfriend in high school who now weighs almost 500 pounds

Digit:

Digit: 1) Digital idiot: why computer techs have ID-10-T codes... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User_error . 2) Past use for the name of a cat by pk vaille of eugene, oregon. 3) The use of a single appendage of the hand either in salute, disrepute, or hiking.

Salute:

Salute: Hand motion used as a sign of respect and no, "the bird" doesn't qualify

Bird:

Bird: The word

Papa Oom Mow Mow

Papa Oom Mow Mow: Nonsense words in the Oak Ridge Boys' song "Elvira" taken from the Rivington's hit song also recorded by the Beach Boys--the songwriter must have been short on inspiration, much like "Land of a Thousand Dances" "I say a na, na na na na, na na na na"

Be-Bob:

Be-bob: Bob coming into existence.

Shadow reporter:

Shadow reporter: One who has the ability to cloud men's minds so that they can't see him. He also knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men...

Pulp Hero:

Pulp Hero: (see also "pulped hero") The result of a villain defeating a hero.

Villain:

Villain: Once meaning a person of low birth, it has come to be associated with bad guys

The Shadow:

The Shadow: the olfactory organ (hence: the shadow nose)

Trident

Trident: 1) The poor cousin of the fork often relegated to extracting pickles from jars and other menial tasks 2) Super weapon by the mythical god Poseidon/Neptune and U.S. and other mythical governments: nuclear missile... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trident_(missile) 3) Term applied to Halloween hags with only 3-teeth 4) Brand of gum... https://www.google.com/search?num=10....0.fzYF6gsVG-Q

Halloween:

Halloween: Night before the Catholic Church Celebration of All Hallows (All Saints) Day. Somehow the night before has gone to the Devil

Satan:

Satan: anagram for Santa, who is the grim and child-eating god Saturn's inverted Saturnalian form.

Satin

Satin: The state of a used chair.

Polyester

Polyester: one convicted of polyestery

Phylum

Phylum: To sort your files by common characteristics, such as overdue bills, tax receipts, IOU's, etc.


Bunkum:

Bunkum: A fortified shelter in the event of nuclear wum

Cobra

Cobra: 1) A limited edition car that was super hot! 2) Highly poisonous snake 3) The spare bra a lady keeps in her drawer, purse, etc.

Levity:

Levity... Levis and tie (shirt and shoes optional)... https://www.google.com/search?q=Jerr...w=1093&bih=534

Bauble:

Cobra: ladies' undergarment for Siamese twins

Levity: like gravity but funnier

Bauble: the cry of a turkey with a cold

Bangle:

Bangle: Something to hit it over the head with

Howitzer

No worry, she fine.

Rabid

Rabid: When a miser actually is willing to pay for something

Parson:

Rabid: Pompey Bum's avatar

Parson: like a whoreson except that his house is owned by the church

Parrot:

Parrot: bogey; especially snowmen and their ilk

Bogey:

Bogey: Humphrey Bogart

Gimme: