Minimalist Poetry Contest

Very well done, indeed, RD, and what a good pick for the new round!

Here's my entry:

The Blind Man

Walking slow-motion along the empty beach
A lonesome, wordless tune on my lips
Salt on my cheeks and spray like tears
And in my mind a bitter taste

Seagulls screech around the blind old man
Who’s on his knees in the wet sand
I stand and stare and throw two coins
Into his wind-worn, shabby hat

He reaches out, brushes away my sobs
Rocks me to sleep, and things fall into place
Then comes high tide and floods him away
And leaves me back alone and cold

To carry the burden of my shallow self

The tsunami came. The man was gone
Who watched the rising of the sea.
He joined the others rushed upon
By water moving restlessly.

Beside the sea, the salt air stings
He watches the birds fly by on wings
Dreaming of dreams he'll never see
The lonely old man who sits by the sea

The sea waves.

That's all she does.

The deliberation is over; poets of LitNet hold your breath no longer!

moonbird - a more literal homage to the book and a great description an angler's adualtion for his prize catch. Simple, effective. I like it.
Dark Muse - a beautiful personification of the sea, the bringer of woe and fortune to many a person down the ages.The poem has mystical overtones while remaining grounded in the realm of the physical world.
Dieter M - atmospheric with an introspective twist. I like some how the 'bitter taste' follows on from the salty describtion of the sea. I was left with the sounds of the ocean in my ears and the smell in my nostrils.
YesNo - a touching poem focusing on an individual caught up in a national tradegy. Sometimes in an event of awesome scale its easy to get lost among the numbers.
Pendragon - a meloncholy little number with a simple rhyme to it. Again, the picture it paints adds up to much more than four short lines.
jajdude - sticking rigidly to minimalist theme, good on you! The first time I read it I took it as a cheeky observation, but now I'm not so sure. I have in my head the image of lone figure looking out over the sea annoyed at something and venting their frustration on the world they see around them. Although, this is probably me projecting a meaning upon a poem that isn't there. Anyway...

A tricky one to call, but my favourite is the poem by Dark Muse.

Well done Dark Muse! I was mystified by your poem as well :)

Indeed a worthy winner, DarkMuse. I was torn between your poem and, strangely enough, jajdudes (much like RaoulDuke, I thought I could read more things between the lines than in the lines). I'm waiting impatiently for the next round – this contest is not only fun but always reveals fine pieces of poetry and helps us all, I gather, to improve…

Thank you very much, and I will work on thinking of the next subject

For the next one I decdied to go with an image.

So enjoy and I look forward to seeing what you all come up with.

http://img3.visualizeus.com/thumbs/0...ea5ad58d_h.jpg


Deadline April 30th

Upon her side a flower shows
Dark like her hair that also flows.

Fair Hamadryad

A portrait of the wood nymph
Would do no justice to her grace
The sun, the moon, the stars in heaven
Are all diminished by her face

No poem - be it written with the choicest
Words a mortal could conceive
Would ever catch her matchless beauty
And lead one to disbelief

A song of unbridled love accompanied by
Golden lyre - sung for all eternity
Could offer, still, no recompense
Nor match her soliloquy

:tailor STATELY

There once was a girl
And she was beautiful.

A man asked once
To paint on her skin
As it was so pure and fair.

Now the man is gone.

His painting remains.

When the canvas is skin, and the medium is ink
Sometime the result is a grand masterpiece

It eats her, the tattoo,
like the parting words
of a generation

born to turn your back on people
gracefully straight your spine indeed
reminding of Japanese woodcut prints
of old

your life remains sad and empty though,
your story written in black and white
as you invent it again and again and anew
overnight

crystal lies fly out of your mouth
truths as twisted as a tatoo tree
with branches rambling up your skin
your canvas

He's gone and she's alone
With memories and longing
Carved into her like a stone

I want to thank everyone who has entered with thier great entires so far, and remind you all that the dealine is five days away, so those who have not entered yet, don't delay.

Tarp below canvas.
A paintbrush of needles. Art
demands sacrifice

Ok for once I am actually on time with this. I know the last few times I have got behind in my judging.

I want to thank everyone for your great entries which I enjoyed reading and which made my job difficult as always, but now here goes:

YesNo: I love the way in which you say so true to the minimalist style, and captured such an elegant moment in only two brief lines. You have captured the beauty of the image and I also enjoyed the way in which you incorporated the use of rhyme in the poem.

tailor STATELY: I loved the subject of your poem, and I thought you captured some wonderful imagery. I really enjoyed the style of Romanticism which came through in your words, and how you gave it such a classical feeling. You gave a beautiful story to the image.

moonbird: I really liked your use of minimalism, and the way in which you were able to tell a complete story within such few words as well I think the last line of the poem does leave a lasting impression upon the mind which reflects the effect to the painted image.

Pendragon: I like the touch of humor which your poem had. I really enjoyed the opening/first line of the poem and it caught my attention right away making me curious to see what would come next, and something about the last line gave my a chuckle and I enjoyed the overall concept of the idea.

breathtest: I have to see I really enjoyed this one. A great use of minimalism and I loved the originality within your poem. I loved the way in which you were able to capture the image without running the risk of becoming too literal in simply describing it, but you gave your own unique impression of it and provided a very different approach. This poem was a very near runner up.

DieterM: First of all I have to say I loved the title of your poem. I loved your reference to the Japanese woodcuts because when I was first seeking out a picture, I started by trying to find a good image of a cherry blossom tree because of coming spring, and ended up coming across all these beautiful sensual images of Japanese styled tattoos of cherry blossoms, which led me to this image, so I was under the Asian influence in choosing this picture. You have some beautiful lines and I love that touch of melancholy and sadness within your poem, particularly I found the 2nd stanzas to be quite moving. I loved the line "crystal lies fly out of your mouth" and thought that the last stanza was very powerful.

krymsonkyng: I thought you were able to create a very powerful poem in the use of such few words, and I really enjoyed the way in which I could feel the sparseness within your poem. There is a subtle suggestion to it which leaves one with the feeling of things which are not said and reading between the lines of the poem.


But without further ado the winner is.........

jajdude: I do not like, the first word out of my mouth after reading your poem was WOW. I though this was brilliantly done. You captured such a profound emotion and said so much in so little. It was both beautiful and very moving and I think in this way it captures the true sprit of minimalism, as well as capturing the soul of the image, and brining one captured moment into vivid life.

5 seasons

Summer we sit together.
Autumn we fit together.
Winter we lie together.
Spring we die together.
Eternal we are together.

Me? Really? Ok thank you Muse.

For our next bit of nonsense, the topic is

"Food"

good luck all.

After a week or so with no entries I shall be the 'judge' dude.

Well done jajudge! I'll start it off...


As you glut yourself
with packets of sugar
do not forget
to taste the sweetness.

Would have been my choice as well, jajdude!

MENU

Sautéed cerebellum Julianne,
served with a small bowl of diced dreams
and a mixed emotions salad
topped with Cream Of Hope dressing.
Off to the left,
a side order of shish-a-bob of chopped remembrances, flambé.
The wine?
Absinthe of Lethe, please.
And hold the slice of cold reality…

Pendragon

Complaining to the Waiter

Too many teeth your monster had.
His eyes were far too wide
And as I ate him, piece by piece,
The parts remaining cried.

Congrats jajdude !

Will enter shortly.

OK just a far-sickle:

Farcical

Sandwich
Sand witch ?
Sand which
Hand me a sandwich !

Sand which ?
Sand witch
The witch's sandwich
Sand in me sandwich !


Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

I'm new here - just found this site. Love this thread - have played a game like this via email and really enjoyed it! Hope to be a regular. That introduction out of the way, my first submission. Enjoy! [cue drum roll...]

[indiscretion]

chocolate slivers melt the sting
of her betrayal;
succor grief’s stomach knots;
sate Temperance.


jake

Welcome to litnet Jaked !

Excellent first posting.

Look forward to more of your writing.

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

Welcome Jaked! I expect you'll become a regular here as I now am :)

Salivating
.....with hungry eyes.....
wanting.....
.......just a taste

Hello! I hope I can also participate!

my empty stomach gives way
to my empty heart today
in this summer morning
is she really gone?

Interesting work you guys. I'm lazy, so no commentary.

Pen, your turn.

Caught me off guard there! Thank you.

How about Mother Nature, perhaps in the sense of surviving even after all man has done to trash this world. A few carefully chosen words are better than many. June 15 is the deadline. Good luck.

The world lives,
so it has and so it will,
despite your phlegm.

Prayer to Mother Nature

Mother Nature may you see
All the good you'd want from me.

Rather than dancing in the rain
It rains when she dances.

http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p...t5_23_2011.gif

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

… and somewhere under the concrete
and cement and asphalt and steel and glass,
under the weary pavements and jaded streets,
the wasted buildings, the throttled cars and trucks,
she lies in awaiting, uncomplainingly,
she hopes and dreams and sighs in pain…
… and time, time, time her faithful lover…

She Remembers

Sorrow lingers
with deep impenetrable scars,
who still hears?

A voice long forgot
but resiliency trembles,
she is the one who
will not forget.

Pained love
becomes shadowed
in anger.

Her waking wrath
soon, poor ungrateful
dears.

She will swallow
back into the womb
and life begin anew.

As there seems to be no more entries, the judging starts:

jajdude To tell you the absolute truth, I have no idea where you are going with this poem. And please remember that this is only one man's opinion.

YesNo Nice little couplet!

tailor STATELY I kinda liked this. Interesting choice of font!

Dark Muse As usual, you poem just echoes with vibrant color and sound!

But we can have one winner only ahd that is:

DieterM Your poem really made a statement and was exactly what I was looking for! Congrads! You deserve them! And you're up next!

Congrats DieterM, I enjoyed your poem as well!