Lymerick

There once was an angel who thought
That with devils she best not get caught.
She was caught nonetheless
In the usual mess
Not doing what good angels ought.

Not doing what good angels ought
Her balance of good deeds was naught.
Till one day a whaler
won her from a sailor.
She dazzled with all she'd been taught.

When the angel and sailors were done,
Her hot devils got jealous and one
Sank the boat with a wave,
But the sailors were brave
So in heaven continue their fun.

Here's a story so genuinely true
you'll feel like you already knew:
I've an appendage so grand
it's quite out of hand
so I keep it tucked down in my shoe.






J

There once was a dragon named Joe
Who survived a brave knight's ready blow
When the damsel came out
Flaming curses about,
Freaked the knight, made the horse bolt and go.

Evening Entertainment

There once was a dragon named Joe
And a damsel who wandered in, so
There's a knight coming, too.
When the battle is through,
They will bow. We will clap at the show.

Cunning Hera made Herakles mad
Till he killed all he loved. She was glad
When she saw them all dead.
"I'm a good girl," she said,
But that Herakles? "He's very bad."

There once was a poet named Sue
Her word choice left everyone blue
I leaned over and said
Poetry is dead
she leaned back and yelled out
**** you

There once was a noble from China,
That opened an XXX dina
The tickets sold out,
But the police came about
And cried, ''That kid's only a mina!''

Nice Vocabulary, But Not Much Use on the College Entrance Exams

My daughter knows words my wife don't.
Hearing "milf", she will laugh. My wife won't.
But who knows what she knows?
All I need, I suppose,
Is some other word rhyming with "-on't".

A contractor building out hell
Has said that, except for the smell,
It's not bad down below
Where the bad people go
Though for them he could not really tell.

Back in Boston Jan found that the man
She's been doing did more than poor Jan.
Jan's done others as well.
"They don't count!" You can tell
Jan can't count, but those others all can.

As a member of LitNet I'd say
That various views still hold sway
Where young wankers, old plonkers
And those who are bonkers
Add little to the light of day

There once was a country that let
Its risk rise with far too much debt.
The economy spanked
And its revenue tanked.
Its name now, like ours, we forget.

There once was a debtor named Doug
Whose creditors needed a hug
When his bankruptcy came.
Though they gave him the blame
Their funds drained when Doug pulled the plug.