Printable View
Work and school and work has taken up most of my time. Is there a kind volunteer here who would like to take over the task of replying to the poems people post on this thread? If you are interested, just PM me. I would hate to see this thread go into oblivion. :(
The evening`s shadows are growing longer,
As hazy twilight of dusk softly fades.
Silence falls all around,
Lingers profound - a hush prevails,
Even within silences` sound.
Changing colors - red, purple and a hue of green,
Give way to indigo, as the cool of the dark comes
creeping.
The glow of street-lamps pales the night.
Sheds a cold and ghostly light on a world that locked it`s doors,
That`s sleeping.
Passing faces mirror thoughts -
and for a fleeting moment we are aware,
That they hold questions which need answers,
But who does really care?
Curtains are being drawn hastily,
And the weight of silence lies heavily upon silent tongues,
Whereas they should debate, should communicate.
Still, they remain silent,
And the silence lingers -
yes lingers .... on.
This poem I posted some time ago and had it commented on by fellow poet
" keyheld ". Whilst all other poems posted by me can be located by me on
my posting site, the particular one titled "Mud in your eyes" I can no longer
locate. I would be very grateful, if someone could kindly enlighten me, why
this should be so.
Thanks very much - Sigvard
To everybody who has kindly taken the time to comment on my attempts at
writing poetry, if indeed it can be called poetry, I would like to say - many
thanks and much appreciated .
There are some further postings, perhaps some of you would kindly comment
on them too?
Again, a huge thank you,
Sigvard
I suggest you address your question va PM to either Logos or ScheherezadeQuote:
Originally Posted by Sigvard
Sigvard, all your poems are in this thread. The poem Mud in your eyes is entry 92 (click on page 7). If you want to find all of your postings, click on your own username and from the drop down options select "Find more Posts by Sigvard". This will list all of your postings and you can find whichever entries you're looking for from there.
Sigvard, I'm on a long trip tomorrow, but if I get time I'll read your poems and try and review. Fifth :)
My voice is loud,
Why can’t it be heard,
Are all people deaf, or am I mute
Why don’t they hear me, why.
Why can’t I be understood,
Why am I the only one who can hear my voice,
And it is so loud,
Louder than loud at times.
Why do they just see me and not hear me,
Why smiles are only for their seing
And not for the words coming out of my voice,
And it’s so loud,
Louder than loud at times.
Why do they feel my touch but don’t return it,
I wonder if I'd yell so loud and lose my voice,
Will they hear me when I have no voice.
I will keep silent, maybe they will hear me.
Now it’s quiet,
But I still hear my echo,
Screaming for understanding in my head.
Silence or not,
My mind is insanity's shelter,
because I can’t be heard.
Silence or not,
I can t be heard.
So I give up
So I give up and live in my insanity,
Mind of illusions,
Which is never silent.
Although I will keep silent,
Whilst my mind is insanity's shelter,
Silence or not.
Wookiedana
I`d like to enter TheFifthElement`s, to look at my poems
There is no Fifthelement thread with your poems in it. :rolleyes: the Poems you put in here to be reviewed are found on page seven of this thread as Fifth element pointed out. All you have to do is look back over the last few pages of the thread and find them. Or Just click on your name and go to "find more posts" and all your posts will show up.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sigvard
it is very lonely in the city of the lost
the people walk around unaware of others
as others are unnoticed by all
so obsessed with self-absorption
they stand there screaming to be heard
afraid to give in to the realization
of the horrible thought, no one is listening
convinced of their own superiority
they yell louder
their arms held out and lifted up to the sky
oblivious to the passage of time
as their bodies age into dust
they keep repeating the same incoherent words
each word out of sync from the masses
bringing a hypnotically soothing tone
as the words become lost in each other
the tone heard by all and ignored by most
putting it off as background noise
others who hear it are trapped by its song
tinnitus: a ringing, the buzzing, a crackle or hiss
or so the doctors like to call it
but for those who have loved ones in the city
we know it so much more
helpless to free them from their prisons
we are left with the reminder of our own sins
I know this is Adolescent09's thread but I have to say...Dry-ice, I love "The Ringing". It is very nice and so true. The images painted and the descriptions are awesome. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you ShadowFire, I just thought it fit well with Wookiedana's... That and I had a headache. :)
I would appreciate any honest feedback, positive or negative! I'm a beginner at this whole writing poetry thing...this is one of my firsts. Thanks!
I cry
When I’m alone at night
And think of you and think of me
Force closed the window and it’s view
And bolt the colored shutters too
I lock the door and flip the switch
So darkness can be filling
With every ray of sunlight now banished from the room.
Curled up under heavy blankets
Filled with feathers and cotton balls
That get lumpy if I squirm too much
I lie still.
And try not to think…
Of you
Of me
Of who I am
So I won’t cry.
But in the darkness I can’t hide
Just like at night without the light
And feelings that I thought were slain
Reborn to torment to my grave
And hatred for the girl I am
Creeps up and stares me in the face
It mocks me, I am helpless.
But in the dark I have permission
To finally feel and free from prison
My twisted insides and tangled thoughts
That all day long I have concealed.
So in a fit of gasps and sniffles
I try to sleep and hope its sweet
While the color of my pillow changes
from little drops of salty water, little drops of me
And though my mind refuses God
I like to think he’s there with me
Holding out his crystal vial to catch the tears that I’ve set free.
Sidewaysview,
it doesn't matter what others think as long as you like it. Now on the other side, I can't stand rhyming poems, but the image is great. I would work on the line lengh and rhythm. Something like:
I cry when I’m alone
and think of you
thinking of me
Force closed
the window
it’s view
bolt the colored
shutters too
I lock the door
flip the switch
So darkness
can be filling
With every ray
sunlight now banished
from the room.
...
You done the hard part, just polish it up a bit.