Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

Printable View

Show 40 post(s) from this thread on one page

08-26-2010, 04:20 AM
Paulclem

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

:blush2: One of my former youthful admirers refered to Sounds as a mountain that was once worth climbing...I was alittle hurt by the past tense

I hope you made your point - with an ice axe.

As a bloke i am used to denigrating comments about my person - as have been discussed many times in this thread. Rhino skin helps and a certain - I'm over forty - what do I care? I'm not trying to impress anyone anymore - type attitude.

I think it's somewhat different for ladies though.
08-26-2010, 10:09 AM
prendrelemick

Any ideas who or what I can sacrifice to the weather gods, so I can get the silage done?
its nearly september for Heavens sake! (Or Hades'sake or Valhalla's sake I dont care). I want three fine days in a row please.
08-26-2010, 10:24 AM
dafydd manton

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Any ideas who or what I can sacrifice to the weather gods, so I can get the silage done?
its nearly september for Heavens sake! (Or Hades'sake or Valhalla's sake I dont care). I want three fine days in a row please.

Ask Scher - she's all-powerful!! (I don't mean sacrifice Scher, I meant a sacrifice to Scher.........................) Oh, when you get to the bootm of the hole, stop diggin, Manton!
08-26-2010, 04:40 PM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

You can practically find out anything with google; but, I'm still trying to figure out why, with all the popularity you blokes have with the young ladies; the old cougars are still favorites?

Old fiddles play good tunes.

;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

:blush2: One of my former youthful admirers refered to Sounds as a mountain that was once worth climbing...I was alittle hurt by the past tense

Damn Philistine! Send him to Parker for remedial lessons on how to treat a lady.

I can still hear the screams from the last one like that.

*shudder*

Quote:

Originally Posted by OrphanPip

Viagra causes vasodilation, a quick google search turned up some French study that it helps with oxygen uptake at higher altitudes, more than a placebo at least.

Yes, it's another handy side-effect, but I don't know whether the young female customs officers are impressed by it!

Quote:

Originally Posted by OrphanPip

A lot of rural Columbians seem to chew Coca to help with the nausea caused by altitude sickness. I'm not so sure it would be a good idea to snort a line of coke while climbing the Andes though.

Correct! But "chewing coca leaves" doesn't have the same impact.

:D

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Any ideas who or what I can sacrifice to the weather gods, so I can get the silage done?
its nearly september for Heavens sake! (Or Hades'sake or Valhalla's sake I dont care). I want three fine days in a row please.

Done.

I have just now sacrificed three virgins, a cat and a prize charolais bull in the name of Freyr.

Fine weather for the next week for you.
08-26-2010, 05:11 PM
dafydd manton

It isn't Friday here, yet, so that might be a bit premature. How on earth did you find three vir........oh, never mind!
08-26-2010, 10:16 PM
Gilliatt Gurgle

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

...One of my former youthful admirers refered to Sounds as a mountain that was once worth climbing...I was alittle hurt by the past tense

The hills are still alive in Florida!

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Any ideas who or what I can sacrifice to the weather gods, so I can get the silage done?

Don't forget the dung we chatted about many moons ago.
I can ship some of the prized Dumas stuff if you like. "...in shades of blue and green"

.
08-27-2010, 01:07 AM
soundofmusic

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paulclem

I hope you made your point - with an ice axe.

As a bloke i am used to denigrating comments about my person - as have been discussed many times in this thread. Rhino skin helps and a certain - I'm over forty - what do I care? I'm not trying to impress anyone anymore - type attitude.

I think it's somewhat different for ladies though.

I'm not trying to impress anymore; but the blows seem to have more effect than they once did.
I don't know if this bloke would have even noticed if a pick axe went through the side of his head...

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Any ideas who or what I can sacrifice to the weather gods, so I can get the silage done?
its nearly september for Heavens sake! (Or Hades'sake or Valhalla's sake I dont care). I want three fine days in a row please.

The weather gods have forsaken us all this year; we had a few breezy days and I thought we might have an early autum; but it's back to the high 90's
and they're warning us there is a stomach virus in our beaches...

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Atheist

Old fiddles play good tunes.

;)
Damn Philistine! Send him to Parker for remedial lessons on how to treat a lady.

I can still hear the screams from the last one like that.

*shudder*

Done.

I have just now sacrificed three virgins, a cat and a prize charolais bull in the name of Freyr.

Fine weather for the next week for you.

Right you are; and the strings vibrate more...Tell Parker to give him an extra lash for me...
Can you manage a few low humidity days in florida while you're at it..

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

The hills are still alive in Florida!

.

Yep, though gravity is causing the valleys to deepen...:ack2:
08-27-2010, 09:39 AM
prendrelemick

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

The hills are still alive in Florida!

Don't forget the dung we chatted about many moons ago.
I can ship some of the prized Dumas stuff if you like. "...in shades of blue and green"

.

Ahh, a kind of burnt offering. Then if it doesnt stop raining we threaten to "offer" some more.:angelsad2:
08-27-2010, 03:03 PM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

I don't know if this bloke would have even noticed if a pick axe went through the side of his head...

Jesus, there are a lot of people like that in the world.

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

The weather gods have forsaken us all this year; we had a few breezy days and I thought we might have an early autum; but it's back to the high 90's
and they're warning us there is a stomach virus in our beaches...

Lovely!

I must say, I've always wondered why USA built their retirement state in the middle of a tropical swamp. Helps weed out the sick, I guess.

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

Right you are; and the strings vibrate more...Tell Parker to give him an extra lash for me...
Can you manage a few low humidity days in florida while you're at it..

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Ahh, a kind of burnt offering. Then if it doesnt stop raining we threaten to "offer" some more.:angelsad2:

I'll have a go, but I'm struggling with some persistent rain here right now!

:D

I think I called Mick's over to NZ.

Has it stopped raining yet??
08-28-2010, 11:59 AM
prendrelemick

I can confirm we have had a change in the weather, its now COLD as well as wet.
08-28-2010, 12:03 PM
dafydd manton

Ahhhh - a British summer. Isn't Yorkshire wonderful!
08-28-2010, 01:58 PM
Paulclem

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

I can confirm we have had a change in the weather, its now COLD as well as wet.

Don't forget the wind. Wet cold and windy. Lovely August.
08-28-2010, 03:19 PM
The Atheist

One of those virgins must have lied! Crikey, she was only 43 and three kids, but she swore she was a virgin.

Righto. Instead of messing about with these ancient pre-Druid remedies, today being Sunday, I'm holding a full-on, Dennis Wheatley-style Black Mass.

That rain will be gone by Monday morning GMT, and then no more than 5 mm before Friday afternoon.
08-29-2010, 06:15 AM
prendrelemick

Well I sneaked half the silage in between downpours, the rest is lying in the field quietly composting.

However Athiest's intercession may be working, there is fine weather on the way (honestly). He must know a powerful Diety to vanquish the August Bank Holiday Rain Sprite, wno has held sway in these parts since time immemorial.
08-29-2010, 06:19 AM
dafydd manton

I think he's swayed a bit further south of you - it's raining sideways here, although I don't have to worry about silage. Hope you get it sorted!
08-29-2010, 08:15 AM
Emil Miller

[QUOTE=prendrelemick;946139]Well I sneaked half the silage in between downpours, the rest is lying in the field quietly composting. QUOTE]

I'd come up and give you a hand but I've forgotten where I put my smock and gaiters. I've mislaid my pitchfork a well.
08-29-2010, 08:59 AM
jocky

Anyone for cricket ? :)
08-29-2010, 03:15 PM
prendrelemick

Dafydd: Is that a Ruddy Duck you have there?

Brian: Dapper as ever, One dosn't always dress for silage time, an informal lounge suit will suffice.

Jocky: You betcha!
08-29-2010, 03:17 PM
dafydd manton

No, Mick, the ruddy duck's a Mandarin. I'm fattening it up, then it's destined for the old orange sauce. Parker has an excellent recipe. Best served with a decent Claret, they tell me.
08-29-2010, 04:39 PM
Emil Miller

Quote:

Originally Posted by dafydd manton

No, Mick, the ruddy duck's a Mandarin. I'm fattening it up, then it's destined for the old orange sauce. Parker has an excellent recipe. Best served with a decent Claret, they tell me.

I'm sure that Parker will recommend a good Burgundy which is the usual wine for wildfowl but is not recommended for a Big Mac and fries. One would hope that, should you invite Prendrelemick to partake of the duck a l'orange, he will not cause embarrassment by asking Parker for a bottle of Newkie.:eek2:
08-29-2010, 04:41 PM
Paulclem

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Dafydd: Is that a Ruddy Duck you have there?

Brian: Dapper as ever, One dosn't always dress for silage time, an informal lounge suit will suffice.

Jocky: You betcha!

:lol:
08-29-2010, 05:00 PM
prendrelemick

Ay up Paul mi owd mucker, did you watch the Challenge Cup final on Saturday?
08-29-2010, 05:05 PM
Emil Miller

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Dafydd: Is that a Ruddy Duck you have there?

Brian: Dapper as ever, One dosn't always dress for silage time, an informal lounge suit will suffice.

Jocky: You betcha!

I haven't worn a suit for years, the last one I had had to be donated to a clothing charity on account of the waist size having unaccountably shrunk so as to be unwearable.
08-29-2010, 05:09 PM
jocky

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Jocky: You betcha!

:)

It is so refreshing to find out that my Southerly neighbours are not the only ones adept at cheating. No balls is a worrying new trend in the genteel art of cricket. Eunuch said. :)
08-29-2010, 05:25 PM
prendrelemick

I always thought Scottish sword dancing would be more fertile ground for betting on no balls. One slip, and Bob's your auntie.
08-29-2010, 05:30 PM
jocky

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

I always thought Scottish sword dancing would be more fertile ground for betting on no balls. One slip, and Bob's your auntie.

Man you are right there. One slip in the sword dance and tossing your caber goes right out the window.
08-29-2010, 05:56 PM
Taliesin

If I find the bloody bastard who stole my bike this evening...
08-29-2010, 06:01 PM
jocky

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taliesin

If I find the bloody bastard who stole my bike this evening...

:)

You will give him a five hundred pounds reward, as all that exercise was killing you.
08-29-2010, 06:29 PM
Paulclem

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Ay up Paul mi owd mucker, did you watch the Challenge Cup final on Saturday?

Missed it! Missed virtually the whole season. The games aren't usually on at a time when i can get hold of the remote. (I'm last in the pressing order).

I thought Warrington - in the two games I've seen them play, were pretty good though.
08-29-2010, 06:31 PM
Paulclem

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taliesin

If I find the bloody bastard who stole my bike this evening...

Unlucky. Were you far from home?
08-29-2010, 06:46 PM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

However Athiest's intercession may be working, there is fine weather on the way (honestly). He must know a powerful Diety to vanquish the August Bank Holiday Rain Sprite, wno has held sway in these parts since time immemorial.

:Angel_anim:

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Anyone for cricket ? :)

:lol:

That is truly hilarious. What will they think of next?

Quote:

Originally Posted by dafydd manton

No, Mick, the ruddy duck's a Mandarin. I'm fattening it up, then it's destined for the old orange sauce. Parker has an excellent recipe. Best served with a decent Claret, they tell me.

Always a favourite duck & orange.

I can't the find the emoticon with the knife & fork at the ready, but I'm sure you get the picture!
08-29-2010, 06:47 PM
dafydd manton

I'm starting to panic!!!!!!!!!
08-29-2010, 07:25 PM
jocky

Quote:

Originally Posted by dafydd manton

I'm starting to panic!!!!!!!!!

This is not an unusual occurrence in the Blokes Thread, but don't worry help is at hand. Take an ordinary brown paper bag and blow hard into it until your breathing is back to normal. Mrs Jocky, who has years of medical experience, assures me this will get you through till morning. After that you are on your own. :smilewinkgrin:
08-29-2010, 07:28 PM
Paulclem

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

This is not an unusual occurrence in the Blokes Thread, but don't worry help is at hand. Take an ordinary brown paper bag and blow hard into it until your breathing is back to normal. Mrs Jocky, who has years of medical experience, assures me this will get you through till morning. After that you are on your own. :smilewinkgrin:

That's funny - Mrs Paulclem always recommended a plastic bag - over the head.
08-29-2010, 07:33 PM
jocky

Since the Cold Ale Thread is clearly on the up, is it not time we had a motto? Here is my humble suggestion; " Omnes relinquite, O Vos intrantes. " :)
08-29-2010, 07:46 PM
jocky

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paulclem

That's funny - Mrs Paulclem always recommended a plastic bag - over the head.

:)

Quite right, it is a well known fact that different bags have different remedies. Was my syntax correct? ...... I have this awful feeling that I have muddled something up. :)
08-29-2010, 07:50 PM
Paulclem

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

:)

Quite right, it is a well known fact that different bags have different remedies. Was my syntax correct? ...... I have this awful feeling that I have muddled something up. :)

She did mumble something about it being a remedy for life, but I thought she was talking about Socrates.

Seemed crystal. What's the translation of your motto?
08-29-2010, 07:55 PM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Since the Cold Ale Thread is clearly on the up, is it not time we had a motto? Here is my humble suggestion; " Omnes relinquite, O Vos intrantes. " :)

Just because you have that on your doorway....

:D

I think we can be a bit more positive than that.

What's wrong with the simple "Den of Iniquity"?
08-29-2010, 07:57 PM
jocky

I think it was something along the lines of Beware the Dog. Look it up for yourself you lazy git. Teachers nowadays, I don't know what is the world coming to? :)
08-29-2010, 07:59 PM
Paulclem

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

I think it was something along the lines of Beware the Dog. Look it up for yourself you lazy git. Teachers nowadays, I don't know what is the world coming to? :)

:lol:

But I'm still on holiday...:yesnod:

Show 40 post(s) from this thread on one page