Ghost - a movie that did more for handthrown pots than any number of Olde Vyllage Crafte Fayres.
Mail order
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Ghost - a movie that did more for handthrown pots than any number of Olde Vyllage Crafte Fayres.
Mail order
Charlatanry: What most people like Stephenie Meyer have - a disease of the mind that makes you famous and own billions whereas real people are ignored. Common in places where species known as "homo sapiens' exist. (Thanks Dafyd didn't no this one before)
IQ:
Mail order - synonym for optimism.
Penguin
Hummmm-- two words.
Penguin: Bird that always goes formal
IQ: A number said to denote intelligence which one always finds to be higher in one's self than in others
Prude
IQ: A score that it's impossible to talk about. If yours is below average, you want to keep it quiet. If it's average there's no point mentioning it. And if it's above average, you just look like a jerk if you say so.
Prude: someone who draws the line a bit further back than you, but who can still see you from there.
Penguin: the things tuxedo are made out of
IQ:
Err....I dunno....what is it? Can you eat it?
Margarine
Margarine: The substitute that makes you feel fat and depressed knowing you can't eat well
quagmire:
A bog for people who hate short words.
Quintessential
Quintessential: what people use to start disputes on what they engineered as their absolute.
Sun:
A British Newspaper that gets it's name from the fact that it glows and appears every day - much like acne.
Beheading (with apologies to Mark Bastable).
Beheading: an art form very popular during revolutions and might persist today as an inane slogan of revolutionary
bilingual:
Ein Mensch der zwei langues parlez kann.
Furrow
Furrow: the opposite of burrow
Liquor:
That with which it is inadvisable to confuse with liquorice, since either may well cause looseness of the bowels, but only one makes you smile as it happens.
Psitticine
Psitticine: of or pertaining to parrots.
Sports interviewer: Well, John, you're out of the World Cup, you've been revealed as an arrogant, scheming, backstabbing, cheating lowlife scumbag and even your own team mates are disgusted by the spectacle you present. How do you feel?
John Terry: I find I am suffering a frankly psitticine discomfiture.
praxis
Praxis - theoretically, a clinic for dyslexics.
Dormouse
Dormouse - a bungalow with a loft conversion in South Yorkshire dialect.
Pasquinade -
Pasquinade - an ancient drink made by the Romans from the fruit of the pasquin, now extinct, but similar to the loganberry.
Articulated
Pasquinade - a tart concoction of bitter lemon, sage and rue, drizzled over a pulled leg of game and dressed with nettles.
...damn, too slow....
Articulated: characteristic of an argument that rolls over you as if you weren't there. See 'lorry'.
Leverage
A method of applying pressure to such things as planks, by hitting those people who disagree with you over the head with it. See also "two short planks"
Gratification
Gratification: The moment at which the ephemeral beauty of the dream crumbles into the arduous mundanity of reality. A will-o'-the-wisp that truly leads people to their destruction.
Mother:
Mother - that person in your life who still asks you when you are 50 if you know what you're doing, when you'e been doing it for years, and they haven't done so for almost exactly the same period of time.
parachute
parachute - gambling for people who are too cheap or stupid to play poker
aardvark
An Afrikaans proverbs - Aardvark nivver hurt inywun.
Ponderous
A month to the very day into this and you've come up with a pun that made me laugh. In fact, I'm tempted to mail it to people (uncredited, obviously)>
Ponderous of or pertaining to things that live in ponds, such as frogs, newts, and snapping turtles
Manna
Thank you - you've done wonders for my confidence! Please feel free, but I warn you, it's an ancient joke.Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkBastable
Manna - Biblical food that's just lying around on the floor when you wake up. Like bits of kebab. You'd have to be very very hungry to eat it.
The word 'manna' is derived from the Ancient Hebrew for 'wtf'. True.
polymer
polymer: those units of life that programme you to be a *beep* and make you into this "beep* world
(Wow, by Allah I just studied this in bio class the other day Mark ^_^ It's fate)
wish:
The feeling that you get when you know that something is unattainable, and you get sufficiently unbalanced that you put faith in falling stars, or throw money in to wishing wells that are run by the Local Council.
pomposity
pomposity The feeling of false intellect that drives a good man to being bad and a bad man over the edge
Madness
A level of sanity which, if accurate, writes more than half of the world's painters, writers and musicians - which is madness.
Lucidity
lucidity: A drug advertised in Vanilla Sky movie to give you hope that you can eat cloud ice-cream.
Rose:
That which by any other name still smells of the stuff they grew it in. See politics.
toupee
toupee: a garden variety mix of fur and faux pa at a party
leather:
Leather - to beat up, as in "He gave him a good leathering"
and to beat oneself up with drink as in "He was well leathered"
Gristle
Gristle Tough parts in meat which one may unerringly find in stuff cooked by someone else, and manifestly absent in one's own cooking
Chef
Chef : A Chief without ego.
Beguiling
A method of attaching ropes to cheap tents.
Flaccid