Hey, that is interesting!Quote:
Originally Posted by Basil
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Hey, that is interesting!Quote:
Originally Posted by Basil
..
The English language is much harder than we first thought!
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present .
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10 ) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row ..
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
P.S. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'
It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ?
We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.
And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP ! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP . When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP..
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.
One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so........it is time to shut UP!
Kinda makes you think, doesn't it?
Oh . . . one more thing:
What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night? U-P
WOT NOT:
Here are a few of my favourite linguistic oddities; many people think that "presently" means the same thing as "currently," but they actually have two entirely different meanings. "currently" means "now," while "presently" means "soon."
A good example of the correct usage of "presently"; a young man arrives at his girlfriend's house to pick her up for a date. As her mother shows him into the living room, she says, "Cynthia will be down presently."
One thing that drives me "right 'round the twist" (as we say in Ireland) is people who insist that "irregardless" is a real word. For the record, it can't be a "real word," for the following three reasons;
-First and foremost; there's no such word as "irregard," which means there can't possibly be any such word as "irregardless."
-Secondly; it already has a "less" at the end, so you can't put an "ir" at the front; it's redundant, and entirely meaningless.
-Finally, and most importantly; if it were a word, "irregardless" would be self-contradictory, and thus an oxymoron, but a single word simply can't be an oxymoron.
It takes a minimum of two words to form an oxymoron, as is clearly demonstrated in the following classic examples; "military intelligence," "new and improved," (by definition, a thing is either "new" as in "there's never been anything like it before," or it's "improved," but it can't possibly be both!) or "Progressive Conservative Party."
(The latter is the name of an Canadian political party, and one which is the source of much levity among Canadians. Sadly, the oxymoronic name is the only thing that is funny about the Progressive Conservative Party.)
Regardless of how many people choose to believe that "irregardless" is a "real word," they're just plain wrong.
Unfortunately, many people these days don't seem to understand or appreciate the differences between "there/their/they're," between "are/our/hour," between "your/you're," or between "were/we're." Any attempt at correction, however well-intentioned it may be, will only get you... "Whatever!"
Ignorance, apathy and disrespect...all just a sign of the times, I'm afraid, and proof positive that our education tax dollars have been largely wasted over the last couple of decades.' But then you have to admit, text English is busy paving the way to a new future, so "Wot r u up 2 now?"
COS:
The reason that English spelling and grammar are so inconsistent is that it is an assimilated language. The vocabulary has layers of words and multiple words that mean the same thing. Thus, English is tough for foreigners to learn to write, but capable of producing very rich literature and poetry.
At the base is Archaic Saxon from north central Germany. On top of that was added Anglish from the coast of German, Jutelandish from Denmark, Celtic from Wales and the Scottish Highlands, Norse from Norway, Latin from monks, Norman French from Vikings in Normandy speaking a dialect of French, proper French from the Royal Court of England, who couldn't speak Medieval English, Spanish when Spain was numero uno, several Native American languages, and finally Greek from scientists.
Most Americans are aware that several names we have for animals and foods came from the American Indians, but most are not aware that some very basic words came directly from Native vocabularies. Okay is a Choctaw Indian word which means the same in the Choctaw language. Hut is a Creek Indian word meaning a small building. Yahoo is the Creek Indian verb, meaning "to shout out." Chobe (chobby) means "big" in the Creek language, from whence we probably get the word, chubby.
Get's confusing doesn't it? :crazy:
This is really a very interesting post for it reflects some of the problems nonnative writers face. I had always problems when it came to use appropriate prepositions appropriately and articles. I can express basic thoughts in simple sentences but at times as a writer I have to express complex thoughts too and suddenly the problem of articles come in. I know simple grammar but that does not suffice all the time and I have to internalize so many words and sentence structures and I find them very cumbersome and taxing me.
The examples given in the post are really interesting
i certainly agree, the english language is incredibly complex and you would think such diversity would make it easier for writters to write. however to rhyme in poetry you are better off using the italian language - who knew?
Thanks for your comments. I found it telling, as far as English is concerned, and so I for one will be pleased for the changes that greet us over the next 10 years. Perhaps by then we will learn other languages quicker, not as masters but for functionality purposes. Time is moving fast, there is no time.
When's it time to get out of the head and into the heart
to allow feeling to replace thinking in meditation...
This may not have been a story but it was facinating. It shows one reason why English is becoming a true world language. Lucky us.
Dear dizzy,
Your first examples, identical words used in different
senses, are called in the classic, antanaclasis.
Such industry! You wrote this at the expense of sleep--
late night writing and early morning writing.
I loved the play.
Thank you.
HH
HA!. You give me too much credit.
It was a very nice read. Must've taken quite a lot of your time. Bravo! :)
I specially liked the paras after the 'antanaclasis'. Funny. :D
I guess I take it for granted the fact that I grew up with this language and can understand the ins and outs of it - many of my friends who grew up in the same country as I did still don't have as firm a grasp on English, and I would go so far to say there's still a lot I need to learn.
I guess it does help that my job requires me to know the ins and outs of English, but there's always something new to learn!
Thanks guys... I have added some more to titillate over.....
1. There is only ONE word in the English language with THREE CONSECUTIVE SETS OF DOUBLE LETTERS.... Bookkeeper
2. There is a word in the English language with only one vowel, which occurs five times: "indivisibility."
3. There is a seven letter word in the English language that contains ten words without rearranging any of its letters, "therein": the, there, he, in, rein, her, here, ere, therein, herein.
4. There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious."
5. There are thirteen languages spoken by more than 100 million people. They are: Mandarin Chinese, English, Hindi, Spanish, Russian, Arabic, Bengali, Portuguese, Malay-Indonesian, French, Japanese, German, and Urdu.
6. There are only 4 words in the English language which end in "duos": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
7. There are at least two words in the English language that use all of the vowels, in the correct order, and end in the letter Y: abstemiously & facetiously.
8. There are 41,806 different spoken languages in the world today.
9. The word "queue" is the only word in the English language that is still pronounced the same way when the last four letters are removed.
10. The word "honcho" comes from a Japanese word meaning "squad leader" and first came into usage in the English language during the American occupation of Japan following World War II.
11. A felcher is someone who cleans someone else's butt.
12. Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without killing them would burn their houses down - hence the expression “to get fired”.
13. “Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters 'mt'.
14. Galore comes from the Irish Gaelic “go leor”which is pronounced exactly the same way and means the same thing.
15. Good bye came from God bye which came from God be with you. The word 'Bye' is used in both English and Spanish meaning the same thing. So-long came from the Arabic 'salaam', the Hebrew 'shalom' and the Irish Gaelic 'Slan'. Norwegian “farvel” means “travel well (safe)”. A modern version would be “drive carefully”.
16. Karoke means 'empty orchestra' in Japanese.
17. Looking for a furniture removal truck in Britain? Better ask for a “pantechnicon”.
18. Malaria was so named because it was associated with the vapors rising from swamps (“mala” means bad and “aria” means air).
19. Papaphobia is the fear of Popes.
20. Pogonophobia: The fear of beards.
21. Q is the only letter in the alphabet that does not appear in the name of any of the United States.
22. “Speak of the Devil” is short for “Speak of the Devil and he shall come”. It was believed that if you spoke about the Devil it would attract his attention. That's why when you're talking about someone and they show up people say “Speak of the Devil”.
23. The first words spoken by Alexander Bell over the telephone were: “Watson, please come here. I want you”.
24. The first words spoken by Thomas Edison over the phonograph were: “Mary had a little lamb”.
25. The infinity character on the keyboard is called a “lemniscate”.
26. The longest non-medical word in the English language is FLOCCINAUCINIHILIPILIFICATION, which means “the act of estimating as worthless”.
27. The longest word in the Old Testament is “Malhershalahashbaz”.
28. The only 15-letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.
29. The sentence “the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” uses every letter in the English language.
30. The three words in the English language with the letters “uu” are: vacuum, residuum and continuum.
31. The word “dude”, which was coined by Oscar Wilde and his friends, is a hybrid of the words “duds” (for clothes) and “attitude”. Unlike today, the word was considered derogatory until the 1960s.
32. The word “lethologica” describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.
33. The word “monosyllable” actually has five syllables in it.
34. The word “nerd” was first coined by Dr. Seuss in “If I ran the Zoo”.
35. The word “quiz” was supposedly invented in 1780 by a Dublin theatre manager who laid a wager that he would introduce a new word of no meaning into the language within 24 hours.
36. The word “trivia” comes from the Latin “trivium” which is the place where three roads meet, a public square. People would gather and talk about all sorts of matters, most of which were trivial.
37. The words “gene” and “genius” from the word “gens”, which was used by Greek philosophers such as Aristotle to describe the ingenuity of males. “Genius” and “females” were never associated with each other.
38. There are only four words in the English language which end in “-dous”: tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
39. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only one row of the keyboard.
40. Women's underwear is called “smalls” in England.
Some more if you care for:
50 Completely Useless Facts
:biggrin5:
That had to have been one of the funnest readings I've ever have had. But not have as in have currently, but have as in had, though I never had it, so I never could have it, but as in read. Because I read it so my mind had it.
Very clever Revolte. I brought this from Personal Poetry....
:biggrinjester:Quote:
Originally Posted by Il Dante
Just for some fun, I suspect not all of it is true but its uncanny nonetheless:
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head
Now it gets really weird;
Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Now hang on to your seat;
Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford'.
Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln ' made by 'Ford'.
Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
And here's the kicker...
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.
Enjoy a jolly good day http://serve.mysmiley.net/animated/anim_09.gif
Reintarnation for Ignoranuses!
Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
The winners are:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an *******.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.
The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
12. Karmageddon: It's when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes, and it's a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you
14. Glibido: All talk and no action.
15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
...
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
And the winners are:
1. coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.
2. flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. willy-nilly, adj. impotent.
6. negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. lymph, v. to walk with a lisp.
8. gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline.
11. testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam.
12. rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. pokemon, n. a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
http://serve.mysmiley.net/sign/sign0020.gif
Reintarnation for Ignoranuses!
Bless you, diz, these are great fun!
H
Brilliant stuff I agree -
Frisbeetarianism - reminds me of those people who come round knocking on my door trying to convert me. They're so gullible - there's one born again every minute.....
I wonder, why are there no evangelistic Satanists?
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/...n6499561.shtmlQuote:
CBS4) At least that's according to a survey commissioned by the Science Museum of London which quizzed three thousand people about their truthfulness.
According to the responses, on average, British men tell three lies everyday or roughly 1,092 every year. By comparison women, on average, said they only told two fibs a day which works out to 728 lies a year.
So who gets lied to the most? Moms, of course.
Twenty five percent of men said they've lied to the mothers, but only 20 percent of women admitted telling a tall one to mum. By comparison, only about 10 said they lied to their partner.
So what are the top lies? Well, it varies.
Men:
I didn't have that much to drink
Nothing's wrong, I'm fine
I had no signal (cell phone)
It wasn't that expensive
I'm on the way
I'm stuck in traffic
No, your butt doesn't look big in that
Sorry, I missed your call
You've lost weight
It's just what I've always wanted
Women:
Nothing's wrong, I'm fine
I don't know where it is, I haven't touched it
It wasn't that expensive
I didn't have that much to drink
I've got a headache
It was in the sale
I'm on my way
Oh, I've had this ages
No, I didn't throw it away
It's just what I've always wanted
According to the survey, British men lied to their partners most often about their drinking habits while women mostly lied to hide their true feelings.
While women were more likely to feel guilty after telling a lie, both sexes said there were such things as 'acceptable' lies; 75 percent said it was okay if it was done to spare someone's feelings.
Then there is the concept of lying when drunk i.e.
No thanks, I'm married.
Nope, no more booze for me!
Sorry, but you're not really my type.
Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
Oh I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
I'm not interested in fighting you.
Thank you, but I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool!
Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.
I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning.
How blind to change are you?
There are three tests to take (follow the video links).
Today, a friend was talking about this so I wanted to dig it up:Quote:
Originally Posted by Scheherazade
Thanks, British weather!
We had three weeks of sunshine but on July 15th, it rains!
*sigh*
„Wer auf der Mühle stirbt, bestimme ich“
They mostly ruined the "Krabat" movie. However, this phrase was as impressive as in the book.
"Terry's doing the art direction on the movie, mainly 'cause he's not very good at words. Being American, he has a very small vocabulary which largely consists of two phrases: one is yah yah I really like that, and the other is yah, that really pisses me off. And life is divided for Terry into these two clear and distinct categories, things that he really likes and things that pisses him off."
John Cleese on Terry Gilliam
Apparently Mr. Cleese, though mighty in many ways, is no great grammarian himself. Naughty Brit. :hand:Quote:
Originally Posted by Basil
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-13507344Quote:
One of the most-watched programmes in US history, The Oprah Winfrey Show, is ending after 25 years. But the impact of its hostess goes far beyond television.
Her first episode, entitled How to Marry the Man/Woman of your Choice, suggested this was to be a daytime show like any other.
But some 4,560 episodes later, the likes of Madonna, Beyonce and Tom Hanks have been lining up to appear at her farewell show, which is broadcast on Wednesday.
During those 25 years, Winfrey has become a household name, a cultural phenomenon and one of the richest people on the planet.
As she signs off to continue work on her own cable channel, her ability to get the newsworthy guests appears undiminished.
This month, President Obama talked about why he felt the need to publicly produce his own birth certificate. And Sarah Ferguson spoke about not being invited to the royal wedding.
So how has Winfrey been such a success? Ten moments sum up her influence:
Do you know how to write a CV (resume)?
CV Quiz
Most Overrated Books
You can vote and help shape the list (and you must!)
The first 24 are pure trash. I'm sure many people like them, but I wouldn't consider any of them overrated...as in actually being held in high esteem when they don't deserve it. My list of overrated books would be:
1. Sister Carrie--Theodore Dreiser
2. A Farewell to Arms--Ernest Hemingway
3. The Hunchback of Notre Dame--Victor Hugo
4. Native Son--Richard Wright
5. The Awakening--Kate Chopin
6. The Scarlet Letter--Nathaniel Hawthorne
7. Fathers and Sons by Ivan Turgenev
8. Rabbit, Run by John Updike
9. The Color Purple by Alice Walker
10. McTeage by Frank Norris