notices the spinich in your teeth! (Drummroll!)http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/mu...smiley-009.gif
The worst day fishing....
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notices the spinich in your teeth! (Drummroll!)http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/mu...smiley-009.gif
The worst day fishing....
is when all the fish in your fishtank are already dead.
There is a raging ....
... alcoholic at my doorstep demanding access to my medicine cabinet.
Small people get ahead by...
. . . Gorilla in my wardrobe
how many socks do you wear to . . .
oh phooey i did it again
..be able to reach the ceiling
One potato, two.....
side order of fries.
I pulled the plug....
and the plug pulled back.
There's something nasty in...
the woodshed.
Grandma's in red leather.......
,and she's holding a riding crop!
he gradually became...
convinced that all of his teeth had minds of their own and were plotting against each other and against him. That's when he knew he needed to give up the meths.
Did you see the way...
my sister slipped on the throw rug, her head missing the kitchen countertop by mere inches?!!
rubbing his hands together, he cackled...
...and promptly set his hands aflame with friction.
Stick a paper clip into a toaster...
...and you become similar in appearance to Einstein (sp?)
(since mine got skipped) Small people get ahead by...
hopping onto the back of a greyhound dog?
Cross a cow with a........
...with a donkey and you've got a fat ***. (I feel like my rights have been violated)
Outer space should be left to the...
lol
....celebrities; a malfunctioning transporter ought to do it.
Transparency is all that......
a person with celulite should not really indulge in.
If I could have just one wish about my prince charming it would be.......
...that he'd turn into a wicked stepmother at midnight.
Music is best enjoyed when...
... we are able to dance.
You try to be cool but ...
...you end up being hot instead.
Speech is gold, but...
...there's such a thing
As too much bling.
Water and chocolate...
and alcohol are necessary for the day to day functioning of most members of society.
A deer in the woods....
. . . was actually a king, shot by a huntsman
Three blind mice . . .
stood on the street cornor and boogied.
http://images.animationfactory.com/i...ice_lg_nwm.gif
Time and tide...
will eventually get most stains out.
A campfire and hot cocoa.....
is something unique to share and to enjoy in a cold night outside.
Why don't we.....
... read a book?
You try your best but when ...
it's passed down the line, someone applies their worst to it and blames you!
The very worst thing about kittens is...
....they leave you craving more.
A house built with straw can...
...be blown up easily.
A friendship based on trust is ....
... a firm founded friendship.
"If her daddy's rich take her out for a meal, if her daddy's poor...
see if he'll sell her for less than the price of a meal - that's what a free market's all about! ;)
Hey Mr Tambourine man...
...SHUT UP!!!
We've been together since...
.....November and you've never said hello.
The trees in the patio are....
...last night, but now i wish i'd just left him in that alley.
there has never been a love...
.....that a fart could not part.
Whatever we deny or embrace......
will slap our face in the end.
Spit into the wind and...
...wash off some fresh tears.
No one ends at himself...
...but sometimes I wish he would.
A stole made of live kittens is useful when...