Ladies, what don't you like to be called by men?

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Originally Posted by Haunted

OUCH :redface:

So, Max, are you that good a gentleman? :lol:

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As I have written on my profile some time ago (when I joined Lit Net, actually), I believe I'm good but not good enough, so I'm trying to be a better man in the sense that there's always a detail requiring to be refined ;)
On the other hand, I am very sure that you are that good a lady :D

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Originally Posted by Stargazer86

wow...I can't believe "chick" is winning on this poll. I've never seen chick or chica as being offensive.

I'm sure some of these have different connotations depending on where you live

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True, because it's all about what people are used to hear.

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Originally Posted by LadyW

I wouldn't be offended as such, but I'd be quite taken aback to hear "chick." That's not something that's used very often around here.

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As Star and Niamh already pointed out, chick is very American (you can hear it in many movies) and I very much doubt that Brits will ever make a habit of it.

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Originally Posted by Stargazer86

I would find darling patronizing and condescending. m'dear wouldn't bother me though

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Curiously "dear" and "darling" are very much related. In other times darling was spelled "dearling", which comes from Old English "dēorling", corresponding to dear + -ling.

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Originally Posted by LadyW

I think "bird" is just British slang; I have no idea where it comes from actually.

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Probably British men want women to make them fly, which could be very much accomplished by a good kick in the... ahem... you know where :p ... :lol:

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Originally Posted by JuniperWoolf

Sounds like you've never met a Canadian woman! :D

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Hmm... sounds like Canadian women must kick a$$ :D

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Originally Posted by LadyW

I think "bird" is just British slang; I have no idea where it comes from actually.....

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Anglo Saxon/ Old English: 'brid' - an unmarried young woman, root of the word 'bride'. :)

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

As Star and Niamh already pointed out, chick is very American (you can hear it in many movies) and I very much doubt that Brits will ever make a habit of it.

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Chick is fairly common in North West England, around Liverpool/Manchester/Lancashire. It isn't meant in quite the same way as the American use of the term - it'd be used as an affectionate reference, so you wouldn't say 'she's my chick' or 'look at those chicks over there' but instead when speaking to someone you might say 'how are you chick?' in a fond/friendly/affectionate way. So much like the term 'love' or 'chuck' or 'pal' I guess. As per Haunted's comment:

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Originally Posted by Haunted

I don't think any man in his right mind would ever address a woman directly by saying, "hi chick, how are you".

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Actually that's exactly how they'd say it here! So whether it's offensive or not will come down to context/intent really.

As Star and Niamh already pointed out, chick is very American (you can hear it in many movies) and I very much doubt that Brits will ever make a habit of it.


If my seventeen-year-old son and his contemporaries are anything to go by, Brits have already made a habit of it.

Thirty years ago, I suspect my dad would have said that Brits would never make a habit of using 'guy' rather than 'bloke' or 'fella' or 'lad'. These days I feel rather raffishly retro if I use 'bloke'.

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

Circumstances, and not protocol, define what to be a lady or a gentleman is, I believe. At times, the best way to be a lady or a gentleman is to kick and punch :)

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Behaviour determines the use of the terms Lady or Gentleman. I would suggest that at the point where a male or female resorts to kicking and punching, they simply become a man or a woman.

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Originally Posted by Brian Bean

Behaviour determines the use of the terms Lady or Gentleman. I would suggest that at the point where a male or female resorts to kicking and punching, they simply become a man or a woman.

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erm, so I can't be a lady defending myself against a mugger or rapist? Do I regain my ladyhood once I stop kicking and punching or is it gone completely and forever?

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

As I have written on my profile some time ago (when I joined Lit Net, actually), I believe I'm good but not good enough, so I'm trying to be a better man in the sense that there's always a detail requiring to be refined ;)
On the other hand, I am very sure that you are that good a lady :D

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Thanks Max. Now doesn't that make me feel like a lady :D

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Originally Posted by TheFifthElement

Chick is fairly common in North West England, around Liverpool/Manchester/Lancashire. It isn't meant in quite the same way as the American use of the term - it'd be used as an affectionate reference, so you wouldn't say 'she's my chick' or 'look at those chicks over there' but instead when speaking to someone you might say 'how are you chick?' in a fond/friendly/affectionate way. So much like the term 'love' or 'chuck' or 'pal' I guess. As per Haunted's comment:



Actually that's exactly how they'd say it here! So whether it's offensive or not will come down to context/intent really.

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Good to know! I'll make an exception when I visit those parts. Actually as I said in an earlier posting, I don't mind being referred to as chick at all, just never been directly addressed by anyone. When my girlfriend and I were getting into costume jewelry, I came up with the name Chic Chicks for ourselves and even took out that domain name.

As Brian Bean's post about behaviour suggests, the terms 'lady' and 'gentleman' aren't merely about gender - they're about judgement. To those who use the terms or would like to be referred to in that way, not all women are ladies and not all men are gentlemen. There's a codified and, frankly, pretty snobbish set of values that distinguish ladies and gentlemen from ordinary men and women.

In other words, anyone who refers to a woman as 'a lady' is making a moral and social assessment of her worth. And I don't see how that differs in principle from making the same assessment and then referring to her as 'a b*tch' or 'a slut'.

Which is why I don't use the words 'lady' and 'gentleman'. They represent the practical application of a high-handed and condescending presumption.

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Originally Posted by papayahed

erm, so I can't be a lady defending myself against a mugger or rapist? Do I regain my ladyhood once I stop kicking and punching or is it gone completely and forever?

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My rule of thumb is, if a lady is in a forest and confronted by thugs and she kicks and punches and beats them to a bloody pulp AND no one sees her, then she's still a lady :lol:

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Originally Posted by kasie

Anglo Saxon/ Old English: 'brid' - an unmarried young woman, root of the word 'bride'. :)

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Aww, I was going to post this... you evil, evil, kasie .... :lol:

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Originally Posted by TheFifthElement

Chick is fairly common in North West England, around Liverpool/Manchester/Lancashire. It isn't meant in quite the same way as the American use of the term - it'd be used as an affectionate reference, so you wouldn't say 'she's my chick' or 'look at those chicks over there' but instead when speaking to someone you might say 'how are you chick?' in a fond/friendly/affectionate way. So much like the term 'love' or 'chuck' or 'pal' I guess.

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So it's used there as an affectionate form of direct addressing... interesting to know... thanks for sharing :)

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Originally Posted by MarkBastable

If my seventeen-year-old son and his contemporaries are anything to go by, Brits have already made a habit of it.

Thirty years ago, I suspect my dad would have said that Brits would never make a habit of using 'guy' rather than 'bloke' or 'fella' or 'lad'. These days I feel rather raffishly retro if I use 'bloke'.

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Times they change, don't they? :rolleyes:

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Originally Posted by Brian Bean

Behaviour determines the use of the terms Lady or Gentleman. I would suggest that at the point where a male or female resorts to kicking and punching, they simply become a man or a woman.

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If we are talking about everyday behavior, then I totally agree. Now, I wasn't talking about habitual conduct, but about special circumstances where it would be necessary to deliver kicks, punches, and the like. You don't cease being a gentleman or a lady just because you kick someone who kicked you first.

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Originally Posted by papayahed

erm, so I can't be a lady defending myself against a mugger or rapist? Do I regain my ladyhood once I stop kicking and punching or is it gone completely and forever?

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This is what I was talking about! Circumstances and not habit! In such case you don't need to regain anything because there's no compromised ladyhood. Soon ago, there was this young girl here who was attacked by a pair of rapists. She was a martial artist, so she took them down after a sovereign beating, and held them both against the ground until the police came. If she had waited for the police without a previous action from her, she would have been raped and probably murdered soon after. Did she compromise her ladyhood? No, she took action to preserve herself and it's what every person should do. You can't just wait for the police to do it all. They are not so many, and not so near... especially when you need them the most.

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Originally Posted by Haunted

Thanks Max. Now doesn't that make me feel like a lady :D

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And what else would you need to feel like one? :D

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Originally Posted by Haunted

I came up with the name Chic Chicks for ourselves and even took out that domain name.

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Is it your personal web page with that name?

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Originally Posted by MarkBastable

As Brian Bean's post about behaviour suggests, the terms 'lady' and 'gentleman' aren't merely about gender - they're about judgement. To those who use the terms or would like to be referred to in that way, not all women are ladies and not all men are gentlemen. There's a codified and, frankly, pretty snobbish set of values that distinguish ladies and gentlemen from ordinary men and women.

In other words, anyone who refers to a woman as 'a lady' is making a moral and social assessment of her worth. And I don't see how that differs in principle from making the same assessment and then referring to her as 'a b*tch' or 'a slut'.

Which is why I don't use the words 'lady' and 'gentleman'. They represent the practical application of a high-handed and condescending presumption.

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Actually, I would even use the term "lady" to address, for example, a prostitute, what suggests that I don't make moral assessments of people's worth whenever I use it. Instead, I use it as a form of respect and endearment because I believe that prostitutes, regardless of their profession, can be valuable human beings and, as such, they deserve to be respected.

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Originally Posted by Haunted

My rule of thumb is, if a lady is in a forest and confronted by thugs and she kicks and punches and beats them to a bloody pulp AND no one sees her, then she's still a lady :lol:

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She's still a lady even if someone sees her doing that :thumbs_up
All ladies should be fighters, in forests and cities and everywhere else, because if they were, there wouldn't be so many rapists at large.... more likely, they would be well drowning in their own sickness... and in their own bloody pulp... what would be just a lovely scenery. :)

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Originally Posted by papayahed

erm, so I can't be a lady defending myself against a mugger or rapist? Do I regain my ladyhood once I stop kicking and punching or is it gone completely and forever?

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Of course, providing you don't make a habit of kicking and punching outside of those and similar extreme circumstances.

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

Is it your personal web page with that name?

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It wasn't a personal website and I don't have that domain name anymore. That chic chick hatched and moved on :p

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Originally Posted by Brian Bean

Of course, providing you don't make a habit of kicking and punching outside of those and similar extreme circumstances.

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hmmmm, So I guess being a Rockette is out too?

I am not a female, so I didnt vote. But I rarely hear anyone call or greet a female by any of the above choices.

"Hey Honey" I have seen hundreds of times on TV, but in real life I hear the women say it to men - almost never the other way around.

"Hey Chick." I know only 2 people that do this, and they only do it with specific people.

"Hey Lady" - I have only heard a variable other to this, "Hey Ladies" ... which was always when someone was greeting a group of females whom they were trying to get acquainted.

"Hey Baby." I have never seen this used except on TV, and on the TV the person used it always got a slap for it...



.... With "Hey Chick" being the main one I have heard, I don't see how someone could take offense from it. :|

Umm when its a complete starnger or someone you are trying to have a professional conversation with chick luck duck love babe etc can be offputting to say the least.