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Hypocrite: someone who says one thing and does the opposite. By definition, all teenagers think their parents are hypocrites and give them no end of crap about it. Often they are right, but haven't yet learned that being a hypocrite is part of being human, and in any case often isn't the worst quality their parents could have, comparatively speaking.
Skull splitting headache, which I've had since I woke up this morning and which will not relent.
Skull splitting headache: Migraine, or Urgrain if not myself, that may be a precursor of a more serious condition - or not. This conundrum is what keeps head-doctors practicing rather than healing; perpetuating the DRUG industry in making major moola.
Moola:
Moola: The return one gets from milking a cash cow.
Cash Cow:
cash cow: I had a girlfriend I used to confuse with a cow. She had a bell around her neck and udders the size of watermelons, and every morning at 4 am I used to milk her. A few guys offered to pay me to let them do it, so she could have been a cash cow, I suppose.
Morphine:
Morphine: A powerful analgesic and narcotic - what I really need to take right now to help me forget Tyrion's definition of cash cow. ;)
Amnesia
Amnesia: Let me see, dang I used to know this one, hummmm?
Hypochondriac:
"People call me a hypochondriac, which really hurts." --Tim Vine
Vine
Vine: Tarzan's morning commute through the jungle
Cigar:
Cigar: Which sometimes is just a cigar, according to an Austrian psychologist.
Phallic symbol:
Phallic symbol: pretty much any cylinder which is longer than it is wide, if you are of a certain mindset.
psychoanalyst.
Psychoanalyst: Someone with a questionable view of reality who tries to fix yours.
Lawyer:
Lawyer: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck with concrete? ... not enough concrete.
concrete:
concrete: Chicago overshoes, for the lovers of hard-boiled crime stories
Crime:
Crime: Breaking any of a select group of rules and regulations that sometimes fail to move with the times, such as Medicinal Marijuana being legal in most states but still a crime on the Federal Level...
"Medicinal"
Medicinal-Something meant to heal that may work or not.
Madness-
Madness: A label for your state of being if it annoys others enough.
Mindset:
Mindset: The way that you think: Quia vos putatis in via, cogito ergo sum.
Latin:
Latin: A language some people thought every educated person could speak until it became obvious that almost no one could speak it.
Diva:
Diva: The Lord or Lady of constant drama. You know this person, everything is a cosmic conspiracy, every error against them is a Federal Case, they are on the point of death every sniffle, and their kid striking out at the little league is the fault of the coaches!
Conspiracy:
Conspiracy: A group of people who plot together to do something they supposedly shouldn’t do.
Cosmic:
Cosmic: Extremely serious, having consequences that could shake the entire universe, such as being cut off in traffic
Road Rage:
Road Rage: A way to act foolish in traffic.
Serious:
Serious:The opposite of foolish.
Cosmogony:
Cosmogony: The latest theory on how the Universe came to be, or at least the Earth/Moon relationship. In Twain's Huckleberry Finn, Huck and Jim are discussing the stars thus: "Jim allowed the moon couldda laid them." Makes some sense...
Theory:
Theory: A tentative explanation of something believed to be accurate enough to risk telling to someone else.
Risk:
Risk:If you take it you are a hero, if you avoid it you are a coward.
Hero:
Hero: Person possessed of bravery above and beyond. Likely enough that (above and beyond) also describes where they are at the moment, since unfortunately many heroes get killed in the process...
Bravery:
Bravery: A character trait that allows some people to do stuff that others consider risky.
Cure-all:
Cure-all: Sometimes it comes with the word "quack" written before it. This is your basic snake-oil tonic that parent for years have been dosing kids with--nasty tasting stuff. Mark Twain's Tom Sawyer had "painkiller" which was described as lightning in liquid form. True story: Every kid in this area, rich, poor, or indifferent had to go through the yearly dosing of "worm medicine" which was manufactured by a dispensing pharmacy know as Holbrook's. Dr. Holbrook made the thick orange liguid which made him rich as every family in the town gave it once a year to their kids when we were in grade school on the off chance that dirt might get in our mouths and we'd swallow worm eggs. This stuff would make you pass the worms. I'm surprised I didn't pass my guts!
Therapeutic:
Therapeutic: Everyone and everything that has a capacity to heal.
Doom:
Doom: Mood spelled backwards
Backward:
Backward: 1) opposite of forward 2) shy
Platitude:
platitude: utterly boring, not to be confused with...
latitude:
I thought platitude was when people read or discussed plato in higher elevations?
or was it when plato's mother yelled at him when he was a kid? "and I suggest you knock off that platitude before your father gets home young man!"
latitude: someone who's always at cross purposes with my longitude!
persnickety:
Persnickety: A form of fussiness that makes others snicker.
Snickerdoodle:
Snickerdoodle: To laugh at another's puerile taste in art
Puerile
Puerile: a dubious mixture of pure+ill
Tantrum:
Tantrum: How a cute kid talks back even before they become a teenager.
Coconut:
Coconut: a sweet and juicy fruit with a marvelous liquid inside that quenches the thirst.
Haloween:
coconuts are also modes of transportation for the knights of the round table in monty python's holy grail! they got to England by virtue of the swallows carrying them there. African swallows of course.
Halloween: the movie that did the trick of scaring me off of scary movies! or was it Friday the 13th? either way!
continuum: