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First, before mutation, they were merely ants covered with hair. Then, in time, they heard about the Hawaii, Nazis and Margaret Thatcher. Then, after they spent some time in Europe, they realized that they will never adjust to native people, so they decided to found a new group called "The Idiots". And the rest is history!
If I always wear black, am I Ninja?
That depends entirely unon whether you are a turtle or not.
Why does green and brown vegetation when compressed with age turn black, then in to diamonds?
Nature loves a good joke, diamonds are just educated and refined coal
Why do people say "Y'all come over!" when they obviously do not mean it?
For the same reason as they say "y'all" when only speaking to one person, rendering the "all" superfluous.
Who decided that meat blackened on the outside and raw in the middle should be the standard fare at barbeques?
The Admin of LitNet of course
Why do we eat and why do we excrete?
Because if we didn't we'd either explode, which is messy, or our digestive system would get bored and go off to do something else. There are few things more embarrassing than your own bowels beating you at golf.
Why are Smurfs blue?
Because it makes them look more cute ;)
Why is snow white?
Because Snow Purple and the Seven Dwarfs would sound ridiculous.
Why would anybody want a three-wheeler car?
Because they are obsessed with odd numbers.
I want Moon and I can't have it. Why? :blush5:
If you mean Keith Moon, he's dead. If you mean the great big thing that hangs in the sky and is made of cheese, you can't have all that cholesterol. If you mean the film, the cinema isn't showing it this week.
Is it possible to get nicked for being drunk in charge after eating sherry trifle, or rum and raisin ice-cream?
Depends on the amount of booze in the dishes
Why do they complain about people smoking while cigarettes are still a billion dollar industry?
'Cos the people in the tobacco industry can afford the best possible medical treatment.
If you play baseball with a baseball bat, and cricket with a cricket bat, what is a wombat for?
Wom ball
Why are spiders so terrifying, given their size in comparison to man?
It's the thought of the litttle, tiny crevices they can crawl into, prior to giving you the foulest of disease, or at least, a very nast itch.
If stripes are supposed to be slimming, why do some zebras look so fat?
We view them through the eyes of predators
Who do desert islands seem so alluring?
If you lived in Sheffield, you wouldn't need to ask that!
If music be the food of love, why don't rabbits play the banjo?
Because they love carrot more than loving love.
Why is an orange called orange?
For exactly the same reason that you've never yet eaten a bunch of purples. If all fruits were named after their colour, you'd have to slip on a yellow peel, and that just ain't funny.
Why do women who have been married six times still insist on a white wedding dress?
Because inspite of failures, women never give up the fantasy of fairy-tale romance and weddings.
Why men can't understand what a woman wants?
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Make Voyages. Attempt them.
There is nothing else.
Because women do not always know what they want nor do men.
Does the moon look brighter if I wear red shoes?
It would if you wear red socks....
Why are we in 2010?
Time and tide wait for no man
Why do people quote others so much?
Forsitan et nostrum nomen miscebitur istis! (Ovid)
Why do pompous people keep on using Latin? (Except Hawkman, who is a star bunny!!!!)
Can I learn Latin in a day?
Shall we bring a dead language to life again?
Please don't try to scare me.
Why is the water blue?
Because if it was, say, pink, not only would it make the life of poets untenable, the Pinkwater Shopping would sound faintly effeminate.
If Scotmen can wear the kilt, why don't more men wear skirts?
eshhhhhhh...may be men are afraid of waxing.
why people like to be Rich and Famous ?
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Make Voyages. Attempt them.
There is nothing else
No idea - I ain't got there yet. If I ever do, I promise I'll let you know, but don't hold your breath.
is there any moral objection to wearing socks with dragons on them?
It depends what colour they are!
Why are men obsessed with the colours of women's underwear?
Sorry, I can't answer that...wait till the trembling has died down. be fair, though, if the lady in your life turned up in tartan underwear..............?
How far was Anne Boleyn prepared to get ahead?
Anne Boleyn? Isn't she dead?
Why does the top of my head get cold before any other part of my body?
Because you are cool-headed person.
Why we call sunset and not sunfall ?
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Make Voyages. Attempt them.
There is nothing else.
Because the higher up you go, the colder it is, despite what Icarus thought, so therefore the top of your nut is nearer the top of Everest than your feet, and Everest is always covered in snow. (The mountain, not the double-glazing.)
Was the Duke of Earl a duke or an earl?
Aryaa, I hand over to you!!! Your question. The sun does not fall, because if it did, being circular, it would bounce, and it might hit the moon, which would drive the astrologers mad.
Who was REALLY the King - Elvis, Jacko or Canute?
thanks dafydd manton :)
I think Elvis because he ruled over hearts of his fans...and I don't know who the other two are. :(
Birds can cross the borders of any country without Visa/Passport. Why can't humans ?
No, Once I secretely saw 2 birds taking a visa from Mt.Everest.
Why do we have to be healthy?
Because doctors may go on strike.
Why is love like an elusive butterfly?
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Both love and butterflies make your stomach feel horrible.
If James Bond was a secret agent, why did he introduce himself as "Bond.....James Bond"?
Because his real name was Eugene Girl.
If we live on opposite sides of the world... Would it be day time on your end or mine?
Might I suggest you keep your end to yourself, in the name of propriety. (Sorry, did I misunderstand something there?)
On my travels, at what point do I become a foreigner?