The problem lies in the telescope they are using, it's farsighted, so the effect equals 0.
How come that hell has only nine circles?:mad5:
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The problem lies in the telescope they are using, it's farsighted, so the effect equals 0.
How come that hell has only nine circles?:mad5:
I suppose you have been there and know this by personal experience? Duh!
Why do winning horses never be the one I back?
Because you didn't bother telling the horse - if it knew how hard you had to work for that money, it would try harder.
Why do modern ships "set sail", when they haven't got any sails to set?
Because they were originally constructed by Popeye - the Sailor, and were named after him.
Why is the sign :( named smiley, when it frowns?
You've got your computer upside-down!
What the blazes is "vegetarian black pudding"?
Vegetarian black pudding is made of decomposed black mushrooms and fertilizers
Why do solar eclipses happen so less?
A distinctly limited number of suns to eclipse. More suns, more eclipses.
When people talk about going for a tramp in the woods, who is the tramp?
Not who, but what - the tramp is the log transport ramp which one can find on the wood crossroads, and can be lifted only if one has the permission to pull the logs out of the wood.
How come that, while the soap opera is on, the bubbles don't come out of the TV screen and flood the living room?
Not only that, no matter what colour of bubble bath/soap/shampoo you use, why are the bubbles always white?
The chemical reaction which happens when shampoo is mixed with water is similar to one when a man uses shaving foam, which is always white.
How come you don't choke (physically) when you swallow your pride?
Because it's hard to look proud when you're lying on the floor coughing and going purple.
Why do BMW drivers forget that they have got glass around them, and spend most of their time at traffic lights rooting around up their nostrils?
They think the traffic lights are disco where they're going to meet a superbooby-longhaired-allears girl and fall instantly inlove!
Why is white wine yellow?
For the same reason that white grapes are green.
Why did they televise "The Black and White Minstrel Show" in colour?
While transported from the TV house to your TV set it warmed up and turned colorish.
Why is web log named after tree?
Because it has lots of branches :rolleyes:
Why do people spend so much time on the Internet?
The bottom has to be fed somehow.
If another word for paradise is heaven, how come another word for hell isn't heaven't?
Because it was derived from the Hebrew, Aramaic and Greek, which do not have works for hell, beefburgers or Rugby Football. Or warm beer.
If smoking is harmful, how come it cures kippers?
They have no lungs
Why do people's excuses for behavior never include actually stopping said behavior?
Because it is easier to criticise that actually do anything, and leave yourself open to accusations about your behaviour.
Why do they paint night-fighters black, then put flashing lights all over them?
Because it looks pretty that way.
When insulting God, is it still necessary to capitalize the "Y" in: Why do You suck so bad?
Lo! And verily shalt thou do so. And all the people shall say Amen.
Why do Europeans prefer cars with manual gearboxes, when Americans have got Automatics?
Laziness
Why do we observe daylight saving time, when it saves neither daylight nor time?
To prevent Swedish farmers committing suicide, and so that we can make more weapons in between the unrelenting air-raids to which we are subject on a daily basis.
Why do they tell us that aircraft are highly technical, then ask for the lowest tender to make the components?
It's just business
Why does flying sometimes take longer than a nice train trip?
Because trains don't have to waste all their time getting up to 35,000 feet.
Why do attractive air hostesses ask you what you'd like, then strap you in so that you can't?
Because you were probably sitting next to your wife at the time. (Or your husband!)
Why do men think they are stronger than women?
Because, whilst we might not be able to work out the problems of the world, we can lift heavy weights.
How do women remember everything we have said, for the last 40 years?
While you mean were lifting heavy things women were brain training.
Why is it men can't get pregnant?
Space is limited. We just don't have the womb.
Why, in all of mythology, do all dragons have a masculine name?
Because dragons are ugly... They can't give a pretty name to such an ugly creature... (Oh, that was so below the belt, of me!)
Why are women pretty?
I can only assume that you never met my first mother-in-law, who was the nearest thing to a shaved bear that humanity has ever seen, and was thrown out of the Waffen SS.......for cruelty. When she came round, the mice threw themselves on the traps!!
Why are mothers in law so horrendous?
Ok Dafydd, you had me laughing here, something I haven't done for days. (Thanks muchly)
Because they were put on this earth to torture us, even with their mouths closed they can manage it...
If men and women argue so much, why are they so attracted to each other?
Because we're all MMMMAAAAADDDDD I tell you! MMMMAAADDDD! Well, we'd have to be!! As said elsewhere, please excuse me, but if I don;t go to bed, I shall turn in to 12 white mice, and finish up chasing after cheese on the traps in Baron Hardup's Castle. I bid you all the remainder of a good night, and enjoyment of the Antipodean Sun.
What was the question?
and
What was the question? :bigear:
Ooops! Sorry!! Went off on one, there!! The question is:
What is the ideal accompaniment to jelly (jello)?
A naked man bathing in the tab full of it.
Why is wheat corn called corn, when it's not corn but wheat?
Stuffy Brits. They call corn maize...
Why do people get road rage?
All those Brits, wandering around in the middle of the road, laden with corn/maize. You've heard of Hampton Court Maize?
If the Brits call corn maize, why do we have Corn Flakes for breakfast?
Dafydd!!EVERYBODY knows that corn flakes come from american laboratories, and were probably tested on animals!
Why are mutants called mutants, when they're not mute, nor ants?
Because they started off as both mute and ants, but mutated into people with baseball caps, floral shorts, shaved heads, England shirts and tattooes.
Why would anybody wear the above?