:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
As long as it's not an elegy to an ode for a limerick done as a sonnet, I think we could go with it.
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:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
As long as it's not an elegy to an ode for a limerick done as a sonnet, I think we could go with it.
Innovation is the life blood of literature and it seems like a six lined limerick is the new mode. Congratulations Schez ! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Scheherazade
Chlymidia. I will just get me coat then. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
Don't know what you are talking about, Jocky. What six lined limerick?Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
:p
It's chlamydia, but still gets 10/10.Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
:smilielol5:
Now, that's class.Quote:
Originally Posted by Scheherazade
(I saw it too)
:D
If you take away the tatoos, the micro-kilt, open to the navel blouse and sexy pose; add liver spots, dark circles around the eyes, gravity and girdle obesity you have me:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
It's only stalking if you forget the flowers, champagne and candy;)
Thank you, How is your wife dealing with the women and men knocking on the door at all hours to make an appointment with the doctor of love?Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
If you are from liverpool or new york, they do indeed rhyme with florida:thumbsup:Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
I see, that they don't rhyme in other parts of England, thankfully:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
We shall have to consult with Jocky, the rhyme is right; but does it follow the rhythm?Quote:
Originally Posted by Scheherazade
Ah, no Atheist, you have only that timely maddness like Hamlet: to drink or not to drink, that is the question...Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Gosh, I didn't realize that there were so many old lady poems....Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
Only problem, Paul, is if you find a lady in the florida keys that is easy to please; it may not be a lady:yikes:Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
[QUOTE=Scheherazade;905048]OK, here's one:
Once there was a lady from Florida
She could even take down Godzilla
All the local lads called him hon'
Each hoping he would be the one
But she just grinned, winked and said "See ya!"
.[/QUOTE}
Brilliant, what do you say fellows; she wins hands down...
And no one but Scher could rhyme anything with Godzilla:thumbsup:
Another solid entry for the poetry contest...Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
Now you all have to stop telling my deep dark secrets in these poems:lol:
I think Big Jims still in jail for lude and lacivious conduct; the ladies at the tupperware party were disappointed that no stripping cop came; so big jim did the honors...Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
We could do a dedication thread; How 'bout it Scher; ready for another dedication thread:nopity:Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
Oh gosh, Chlymidia, what a perfect rhyme:Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
There was a bloke with Chlymidia,
who couldn't stand the humidia,
he ran from his wife; who was carrying a knife...
ah well, I always peter out on the last line....:iamwithstupid:
Like Godzilla, but horrid-er, torrid-er and florid-er.
You'll have to come in again Mick - no-one can follow that.Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
Now listen my friends and you shall hear....Parker, bring me a double anything
Gents, I am about to tell you the story of my life:
There was an old lady named Gail,
Who told the most amazing tales;
Gents would ask to come in,
Again and Again,
And 8 minutes later they'd bail:nopity::svengo:
Applause:hurray:
SuperbQuote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
Enough Poetry! I mean they have sites for that kind of thing don't they?
Back to fantasy women, I often find myself wondering what Sounds looks like.
http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k7...k/picart-2.jpg
Floridian women sprinkle cuttings of their own hair onto the graves of their husbands who were killed in battle. The graves are also decorated with conches that served as the drinking cups for the deceased warriors as well as their bows and quivers
http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k7...idians1685.jpg
Floridian Man and Woman
They're not big clothes wearers down Florida way?
Great limerick, Sound!
Thank you, Paul;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
Those are cool pictures, I think you might prefer the fantasy; I know I do.Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
I have the chest of Dolly Parton, the stomach of father christmas and when I was young, my husband told me I looked like Jacqueline smith...
Thank you Atheist, I tend to wear loose slacks and tees; otherwise, the sun wil burn you to a crisp...Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
I know, it nearly reached 70 degrees here yesterday- I almost had to cast a clout.
I bring a little ice chest with frozen water bottles and a fan everyday to work; people think I'm daff, but it feels so good on those hot days:pQuote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
Ah, today in the outpost of New Zealand, it was thus proclaimed:
Her Majesty Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God Queen of New Zealand and Her Other Realms and Territories, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith Sovereign of the Order of Canada, Sovereign of the Order of Australia, Sovereign of the Order of New Zealand, Sovereign of the Order of Barbados, Sovereign of the Order of Valour, Sovereign of the Order of Military Merit, Sovereign of the Order of Merit of the Police Forces, Sovereign of the Queen's Service Order, Sovereign of the New Zealand Order of Merit, Sovereign of the Order of St. Andrew, Sovereign of the Order of Logohu, Sovereign of the Order of the Star of Melanesia hath decreed that the day of Monday the seventh of June, in the year of Our Lord 2010 shall be the day for official Observance of One's Birthday in the Dominion of New Zealand.
Queen's Birthday Weekend - the only thing she's good for.
Bum's up, Lizzie!
I'm no big monarchist myself.
I'm actually completely anti-monarchy and anti-public holidays, myself - it's a double whammy for me. I have to pay people to NOT work, all to celebrate an institution I despise, how cool is that?Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
:D
In fact I don't no why we still have them. They've survived a lot of scandal, and the financial stuff - the tax breaks, the use and misuse of public money by millionaires is completely unfair.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
All the chums in society's influential positions still root for them. We're waiting for the war generation who basically just respect the Queen, to die off. Then we might be able to question the veracity of the institution. Charles will probably make a mess of his term. They did behead the first Charles, and no wonder. What an idiot he turned out to be.
I'm basically for the Monarchy. Not for New Zealand, Canada, Barbados etc where there is an element of it being imposed upon them. But here in Britain where the system has slowly developed over centuries, and we are comfortable with it.
The problem is that the alternatives all seem to involve an ambitious politcian becoming head of state. When Australia held a referendum, the republicans lost - not because Australians are devoted royalists, but because they were dissillusioned with the politcians who were putting themselves forward for the job.
The strengh of the Queen is that she has no real power, no agenda and no political angle. An elected head of state would soon be pushing for radical programmes of reform, and getting invovled in power struggles and such bollocks.
The Queen sails along grinning vacantly and waving nicely with the back of her hand. Thats what we Brits want - God bless you Mam.
Yeah - there is that. It's the presumption I don't like - The PM went to see the Queen to dissolve parliament today... blah blahQuote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
The Queen's just quiet, but will Chuck be the same?
I hope so. The world would be a better place if our leaders would just grin and wave and DO NOTHING ELSE. Its when they try and think the trouble starts.
We'll see, but he's had a habit of sticking in his snout at his pet hates. Remember the carbuncle he referred to as a modern architechtural addition to - was it the British library?Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
We may agree or disagree with him on that point, but should he be influencing such stuff and stifling modernist development?
I also remember his "villages" idea about modern housing - ok in principle, but where's the space in inner cities? it might work in the Duchy of Cornwall, but not perhaps in Brum.
Another of his ideas was to offer the British Army as mercenaries because "we're good at soldiering". Can you imagine the trouble that would cause if we backed the wrong side - which would definately happen?
Anyway, I hope you're right.
You are never going to believe this, but I have actually socialised with the late great Queen Mother. She was Colonel in Chief of my regiment and attended our Highland Games to which she was most partial. Our Commanding officer intoduced her to me with the words, " This is Jocky Maam, our regimental hero " She gave me her most gracious smile, enhanced by her slightly blackened teeth and proceeded to fall on her ***, aided by the consumption of a large amount of Gordon's gin. I refuse to get drawn into the Monarchy versus Republic debate, but I will say this, that woman had class. :)
yes, I always wondered why a queen would call her heir Charles. He's on a loser before he starts.Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
This "head of state" argument bothers me quite a lot. Why do we need one? As long as the court sits superior to Parliament, what possible use is a head of state?Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
Sure, and she's great at that, but Charlie seems to have inherited foot-in-mouth disease from his da' and I doubt whether he'd be able to be the impartial hand waver that you need. His defence of homeopathy alone should disqualify him from ever sitting on the throne. Still, the known longevity of Windsor women combined with the known mortality of their males must make William even money to be the next monarch.Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
You are never going to believe this, but I have actually socialised with the late great Queen Mother. She was Colonel in Chief of my regiment and attended our Highland Games to which she was most partial. Our Commanding officer intoduced her to me with the words, " This is Jocky Maam, our regimental hero " She gave me her most gracious smile, enhanced by her slightly blackened teeth and proceeded to fall on her ***, aided by the consumption of a large amount of Gordon's gin. I refuse to get drawn into the Monarchy versus Republic debate, but I will say this, that woman had class.
:lol:
Yes - it was revealed recently that she had the racing result piped into her rooms by tannoi.
Us poor plebs have to trail to BetFred or Ladbrokes. :lol:
Not that do that now that the old man's gone to the betting shop in the sky.
:)Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
Aah, but once I picked her up and dusted down her derriere, she gave me some invaluable advice, " Jocky, stick to William Hill which is Royally approved by me, always spread your bets and never, but never, trust Kieran Fallon. Now pour me another G and T or you will be busted down to private again." :lol:
and if I catch you Jocky I will get riddya.Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
Note the rhythm tum-te-tum, tum-te-tum. :)
I went out for hour errands 3 times today and came back each time drenched...I'm not enjoying this heat; though the neighbors are applauding the whole free wet tee shirt thing:drool5:Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
I don't know, sounds like you're in America and just don't know it...our heads have no power, they have an agenda; but haven't developed an angle...Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
last time I looked they were grinning, waving and vacant....only thing missing was that double hand way she holds on to her purse...I love that:lol:
Have you guys seen Chuck lately; because I've been seeing some big earred :bigear:fellow around our way; last I saw him he was pinching the presidents wife:patriot:Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
I'm sure she was just so nervous in meeting a great hero that she couldn't contain herself...Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
I don't think the British have quite beat our presidents falling down record: we had Ford and then Bush fell and barfed:puke:
Come on Soundo, why would our politicians be better than their supporters ? Evolution has proved we are all part of a process and unfortunately that includes our Royal family. Listen, we have got our blue bloods and you have got O'Reilly, Skinner, Limbaugh and the new kid on the block, that mighty defender of the constitution, Glenn Beck. Just leave us with our illuson of the Royals. No I will not be attending the Tea Party. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
You see Soundof - Jocky's taken the Queen's Shilllng. He owes her after downing it at the Hare and Haggis soon after.
Also they have a predilection for scotsmen in Kilts - remember John Brown? I shouldn't press him too much on it, especially if he was Maam's Boy.
I've always held a special place in my heart for the Queen, my phellow phillatelist.
Jocky,Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Speaking of tea party, your suggested Sensational Alex Harvey Band, from the aluminum anhydrous tetra chloride thread, did not go unoticed. That was brilliant and the song has been loaded into the Dreary Beery's juke box in slot 1773.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rqFk...eature=related
Gilliatt
As to the question of sucession, Charles has that vital quality of being ineffective. As long as he can keep it up, he'll make a good King.
As a lowly agricultural student I was introduced to Princess Anne. Poor girl had to feign an interest in what I was doing - pulling nails out of a piece of wood in the college workshop - As I explained the process, I could see her inwardly questioning the role of the monarchy in modern Britain.:Yawn:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
A bit vain that - collecting self portraits.
Ok, we've dealt with the queen, now what about the King?
I mean Hugh Hefner, of course.
I imagine he'd claim to have had a great life, and he's doubtless had it off with a large number of large-breasted young women, but would you swap your lifestyle for his?
I'd feel a bit guilty knowing that all the young women doing it with me were only in it for the money and fame.
Thats more like it Atheist.
Now here is a pic of a pretty girl to really get things back on track.
http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k7...mick/17730.jpg
I always think natural unenhanced brunettes are sexier than silicone grown blondes. So I'd like to be "Woman's Own" Hugh Hefner, rather than Playboy's
wouldn't mind her dropping by a couple times a week ;) The sexiest thing is definitely natural beauty, the plastic thing is a huge turn off. but nothing against blondes, a natural blonde can be very sexyQuote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w...katja-kean.jpg
I have always found Katja Kean extremely beautiful.
no, she is just a very open minded person, she has always told me that she would never mind any of my choices in partners, career or life in general.Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
yea, my father always seem to enjoy reparing stuff aswell, he won't rest until it is working again. But he never wants to listen to me when I tell him what is wrong with it, he insists on figuring that out himself before trying to fix it.Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
I never would have thought you were into Twilight. But I know someone who looks a little like Robert Pattinson, we covered him in glimmer one day and had him look like Edward Cullen.Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w...msomedward.jpg
I can set you up with him if you like?
that never turns out good :lol: i'm just kidding.Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
Now, she is lovely.Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
I'm with you on silicon and bottle blondes.
UGH!
That gets my vote as well!Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesterhead
I have always had a weakness for blondes. That's possibly why I'm married to one.
Gentlemen prefer blondes.
And as I always say, so do dirty old men!
Can you guess which group I'm in?
O'reilly, are you sure he's one of ours? We generally stop them at the dock and change their names:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
You won't be missing anything, American tea tastes like watered down salt water; I think they got the idea in the 1700s and stuck with it:out:
I don't know what asylum that head fellow escaped from; but I felt like pulling up my bloomers and doing a jig...Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
I don't know, I don't think I ever saw her face when it didn't have that bored plastered mask on it:smile5::sosp::rolleyes::toetap05:Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
Good job, Jocky, should we enter our poem in the forums contest:thumbsup:Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
I don't know, Paul, I think Jocky should have gotten a bit more for dusting her off...Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
There is definitely something fascinating about a man in a kilt...well, until you get to the knees and hairy legs:lol:
All the bunnys I've heard describe Hugh as "Sweet and a Father figure"...I still think the guy is in the biggest closet in America...Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
I think you better bring that girl some soothing lotion for that cleavage; looks like she has a bit of sun poisoning...then a nice cool shower together...Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
You've either got the greatest mom alive; or she is using reverse psychology.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesterhead
Have you ever told her you were serious about a woman? I found my parents liked all my boyfriends until they became husbands...
Very nice Edward look alike...and better hair...I wonder how much it'll cost to send him by crate to Florida:lol:
.
.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxgC-uBw1K0
Gilliatt
Jerster head your right, she is a very attractive lady ;)
I'm glad you mentioned Charlize, Gilliatt, she is one of my personal favorite; particularly as a blonde. I loved her in Devils Advocate...great actress, too; not just eye candy.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
Since we were recently on the subject of Prince Charles, check this out.
Especially the picture of actual students.
:D