Litnet's version of Devil's dictionary

Diarist One who feels compelled to record his or her daily humdrum for posterity, with complete failure to realize that posterity couldn't care less


Descendants

Descendants: Skydivers

Genuflect

Genuflect to touch or bend the knee to the ground in repect or worship. Typically done by kiss a@@ people desperate for recognition from people of undeserved position or title.

Royalty -

Royalty Those who claim it is their divine right to be a pompous @ss, as opposed to all of those who do it just because

Posh

Posh- A trait of the superfluously meticulous in the way of clothes, fashion, and hair styles.

Genome

Genome All the inheritable traits of ones ancestors, whom one soon discovers were a bunch of loons

Farce

Farce In politics, a elephant of one color and a donkey of the same

Location

Location - In terms of human endeavor an exceedingly important factor, so important that they named this factor thrice: Location Location Location being the full phrase and Location being the jovial reduction for all those whose dreams didn't quite come true.

The first Location would be The Orient. The second Location The Himalayas. The third Location The Peak.

'So, did you climb Everest this afternoon Brian?'

'Unfortunately not - I only had one Location'

'What do you mean?'

'I'd rather not talk about it.'



Disappointment

Disappointment Natural state of human beings, caused by lofty thinking of things beyond parallel. Direct result of such actions as pushing one's luck, jumping to conclusions, failure to look before one leaps, and building castles in the air.

Manifest

Manifest

1. Good excuse for expanding a Nation's territory at the expense of the Native population, i.e., manifest destiny

2. List of items submitted for insurance claims, often with no bearing on reality, i.e., shipping manifest

3. Likely as not, especially in courts of law, i.e., "The defendant's guilt was manifest."

LAWYER

LAWYER An accountant of the law which, although should be acting for the benefit of the people, is an individual often and sadly synonymous with the word 'liar' due, in part, to being motivated by monetary gain.

Kitten

Kitten According to Ogdan Nash: "The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat"

President

President In the USA, a deranged person who fights tooth and nail to be elected to a thankless job, where he or she will spend the next four to eight years being ridiculed while opponents air his or her dirty laundry, unearth skeletons from his or her closet, and sometimes plant a few bodies to frame him or her. Who would want such a job?

Job

Job - In modern society, a means in which to acquire useless currency that can be traded to obtain valuable resources essential to survival.

School

School A place where disaffected teenagers practice their marksmanship.

Government