That's a given, isn't it?
Why do we even have names?
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That's a given, isn't it?
Why do we even have names?
Who said that? Do I know you? Wouldn't it all be simpler if we had numbers, like in the Armed Forces? (H8103692, since you ask!)
Yes Then We Would all be under Big Brother's thumb and be his slaves MUHAHAHA
Why are anti-heroes so popular?
Because they are cheaper than heroes, and easier to find. See also under England Football.
Why is the grass greener on the other side, even if it's been concreted?
Because what mama doesn't know doesn't hurt mama (Water Boy Film quote)
Why are eels so electric?
Because gas doesn't work well under water.
Why are all goldfish called Bob?
Because ancient legend has it that a man named Bob did the dilly dance and brought forth powers of the bowl so in memory of this great feat we name the bowl dwellers Bob
Why is Fox Mulder from the X Files named Fix?
Because he suffres frmo dylsexia.
Why do Americans call jelly jello, and we call jelly jam?
Because they think of J-LO and the ones who call it Jam like to Jam
Why is the sky so blue?
Because if it were green it'd make the water a revolting colour, and if it were pink, the sunsets'd be really boring.
Do they grow malt on Malta?
Malta is the name of the fruit in Bangla so they call it that because of it but then they added malt for globalization.
Can chlorophylls speak?
Yeah, but only when they're green with envy.
If diamonds are merely an ancient and more compressed form of coal,why are women not impressed when you give them a lump of anthracite?
Because it doesn't cut good into flesh like diamonds do
If you were Hemingway what would be your 2010 book title?
Cojones! It is only Coal. That is the way it is.
Who would monopolise the conversation between Hemingway and Shakespeare, and why?
Big Brother would nor else George Orwell would make him dance in a tutu
If Shakespeare was Juliet what he say to his Romeo, who would his Romeo be?
"Watch it, mush. Keep yer sticky mitts to yer *****ing self!"
Who would be better at snooker, Dame Barbara Cartland or Louis Armstrong, and why?
Armstrong as he's got the the sleepy vocals and can seduce the little balls the games are played with
Would Lady GaGa go gaga over James Joyce?
I suppose she would remain Gaga, after all it is her name
Where do we get corn liquor from?
From a cereal packet.
Where does the moon go during the day?
To a striptease bar downtown to bet on Sun's pole dances
Why does Atlas carry the earth?
Because no one agreed to do this.
Why did people think that the earth was flat?
Because they knew about tectonic plates, and plates are flat.
What did Pythagoras think he was going to achieve?
A cool name nerds can party with
Why do bacteria photosynthesize?
Boredom.
Is there any truth in the rumour that Francis Bacon was Jewish?
Yes no wonder Antonio thought he was Shylock
Do energonic reactions really use ATP?
No, they just keep it safe so that it can be released later.
What is hotter than the sun?
Hell
Why do we think we know it all?
Because if we didn't, this would be one boring thread!!!!
If God had meant us to be vegetarians, why did He make animals out of meat?
Because as we all innately desire sin then killing others would be a less tragic and we would all be glum as potatoes
Why are there mountain goats?
Because there are mountains.
Where do they breed haggises, or are they wild?
haggises are wild because they are just so wild a sport
What are the functions of wisdom teeth?
To convince thick people who feel that they have had a wasted life that eventually they have been imbued with some wisdom, albeit vicarious. Also, an excuse for pain being enjoyable.
If flying is so safe, why do those guys selling Life Insurance at airports do such a roaring trade?
Because life is insured by them. Don't pay you can't stay
Why are trees green then change colour?
A combination of carotinids and peer pressure.
What is the point of the duck-billed platypus?
To tease ducks that flat bills ain't a monopoly
Why are drug addicts addicted?
They feel drugs are to die for
Why do people constantly opine on things that are none of their bleeping business?
Because if they didn't, they'd all be talking about things they knew about, which would be the end of civilisation as we know it, Jim.
If little girls are made of sugar and spice and all things nice, why do they smother it all with cheap perfume when they get older?
Because society tells them that cheapness is where the cash-heart lies
If boys are so aggressive why do we have females hitting men also?
So that those who are dim enough to think that violence can work have a way of warming themselves, since they burned their underwear years ago. See also gravity.
Why did the Romans cover themselves in armour, then wear open-toed sandas?
Because they want to invert the Achilles philosophy
Why do people believe in polygamy?