is the freakiest gentleman in the world, and did you know that he also.....
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is the freakiest gentleman in the world, and did you know that he also.....
...adapted a stray doggie just outside their village saying that he wants to take a bath with him. Eeew, fur all....
...silvery and smelly, and he seems to like the aroma, but he lathers him up with shampoo; then the dog jumps out of the tub and runs down the road with cream puffs flying in the air all around him as he shakes his wet fur loosely off his skinny body, looking like a....
...drenched chick just out from playing in the rain. I'll add in a couple more wet rats and scaled dragons. Sometimes when he wags himself, he wishes to look like his doggie that ran out from the puddle of mud. (No pun intended.) Can you just imagine....
the cheek of him? I mean, every time his mother gives him a bath he goes out and...
walks into museums, singing 1940's showtunes at the top of his lungs. Some people don't have the common sense to understand that....
showtunes are only appropriate singing material for two days of the year, and only from 3:47am to 8:29 pm the day after that! At least he . . . .
whoops, sorry, zanna got ahead of me. I'll post later.
used to pull a giant moose out of his hat. I used to wonder how that large creature actually fit in there, but apparently...
(I love old musicals myself and nobody can beat Fred and Ginger for elegance, eh?) :D
it has to do with smoke and mirrors. (who knew?) Speaking of fantastic magicians . . .
have you heard of the one who pulled pudding out of her hat instead of a rabbit? What an uproar that caused and if you believe that yarn, then I have a bridge in Brooklyn that I could sell you, so what do you say to....
coming and visiting me? I could show you...
how to sell ice to eskimos and then we could head to Spain and meet that friendly bull...
who wanted to show us a book no one has ever seen, read, or heard of before called...
who wanted to show us a book no one has ever seen, read, or heard of before called "An Expose On Captain Stan Before Pirating." I'd rather directly hear it from..........
his first mate who was lost at sea, but rumor has it that he was washed up on some tiny island in the Caribbean if we could only find him...
we could change the world! He figured out how to...
walk and chew gum at the same time, which most people know is very challenging. Then of course that raises the ethical question of....
whether subjecting passersby to your gum chewing is considerate or not. I mean, who wants to watch a cow . . .
Jump in a trampoline? I mean, that would be sooooo ridiculous if it.....
suddenly bounces out of the ring. But would you consider it funny if it fell on you instead? Hah hah! Try looking for a thing that wraps....
meat around tortillas. Or tofu if you're vegetarian. I have never seen such an amazing...
timpani drums! Isn't it odd that they . . .
timpani drums! Isn't it odd that they(vegitarians) can be so picky about food. Why don't they just round up all the animals and.......
and banish them for all eternity! All the ones we eat for meat, anyways. Do you know...
what one plus one plus 5 equals? If you didn't know, YOU would have to be banished forever and there would be no use crying about it either because....
because you'd be banished to far away places with strange sounding names that are actually not that bad to be banished to because....
they have free coffee there. Today when I went to the mall I saw a....
they have free coffee there. Today when I went to the mall I saw mall rats. The mall should definitely call the exterminator because one of those rascals looked menacing to..........
to be shopping at Old Navy. Such a menance must naturally be confined to those dubious joke gift shops that one can find semi-naughty gifts at. The sort of thing one might buy for a bachelor party, but for the life of me I can't figure out what....
we could do with those rats; maybe stew them now that the other edible animals are going to be banished....oh yeah, those naughty gifts...I can't figure out where they are made, can you? North Pole is definitely out. So next Christmas don't ask Santa for such a thing as a ......
toad pole.
Now, where did I put my husband's...
Now, where did I put my husband's retainer? I know he's a little old to wear one; but to tell you the truth his overbite is not a pretty sight to look at. Why did I marry this............
otherwise perfectly charming man with such an alarming overbite? Oh, yeah. NOW I remember. It was because of his perfectly charming...
nose ring. That being said, there were many things that were downright disturbing such as....
his tendency to write death threats in blank verse on the backs of cocktail napkins, while also...
humming the tune to "I Dream of Genie"... and all the while, he...
...keeps eyeing the leftover onion rings on the plate of the nearby Hell's Angel who has momentarily left his plate un-guarded in order to go compliment the chef; suddenly...
...keeps eyeing the leftover onion rings on the plate of the nearby Hell's Angel who has momentarily left his plate un-guarded in order to go compliment the chef; suddenly a badger jumps into the scene and cofuses all the participants. Where from........
he gets up, goes outside to the costume shop next door, buys a costume, changes into it, comes back into the restaurant, and to everyone's surprise, the costume is a badger costume!! Why in the name of all that's wonderful did he....