Egomania: Acting like Donald Trump
Twit:
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Egomania: Acting like Donald Trump
Twit:
Twit: A round object given to you by someone who has asked you for so long to do something and are tired of hearing you say, “I’ll do it, honey, when I get a round twit.”
Abomination:
Abomination: That last joke, YesNo. Don't ever make a bad pun like that without my permission. Or you know what happens.
Painful:
Painful: If it is me suffering, the smallest pinprick. For others, broken limbs are "Just a scratch. Walk it off, champ, walk it off"
Pinprick:
Pinprick: Not at all well endowed.
Talent
A satisfying bit of repartee, Calidore. Well played.
Talent: Being that which no one who's ever starred on a reality TV show has.
Self-promotion:
Self-promotion: To "give yourself airs" or "to be uppity" Example: Donald Trump
Trump:
Trump: A politician, my wife tells me, who has less than a chance in hell of becoming president, but a better chance than I do.
Chance:
Chance: Originally glazed calico tiles, initially specifically those imported from India, printed in designs featuring flowers and other patterns in different colors, typically on a light plain background. Wait. Sorry, that's chintz. Chance: What a snowball doesn't have in hell, and what I don't have with even one Victoria's Secret model.
Covet:
Covet: Strong desire, such as Cheddar has for a Victoria's Secrets model...
Secrets:
Secrets: A great album by legendary guitarist Allan Holdsworth, who I know none of you listen to because none of you is as cool as me. Also, what that Victoria's Secrets models have between their legs. Let's hope it's what we think it is.
Surprise:
Surprise: Finding out the pretty girl you have been watching all night is actually a cross-dressing guy. Crocodile Dundee comes to mind.
Pretty:
Pretty: What some models are, and yet a surprising number of them really are not, they're just exceptionally tall and long-limbed and have a dramatic sort of look. Also, the thing I live for: prettiness, and beauty. That and pistachio nuts.
Symmetry:
Symmetry: That fearful thing that tigers have according to William Blake...
Fearful:
Fearful: An emotion that overcomes a person while watching the stock market circle the toilet anticipating at any moment that final, swift, explosive burst down the pipes of hell.
Cool:
Cool: What a stock market crash is not, what summer in Queensland definitely is not, and what I, as you all know by now, am the apotheosis of. I was going to say quintessence or embodiment, but that word: apotheosis. I mean.
Modesty:
Modesty: A range of self-limitation stopping just short of saying one is an apotheosis of something or other.
Apotheosis:
Apotheosis: To raise one's self to the level of a God while still denying that God even exists, a conundrum brilliant in its audacity
Audacity
Audacity: What some people demonstrate superbly when they presume to know who thinks what about God. Not wishing there to be contretemps, Pendragon, and apologies if I've misunderstood you, but what up, G?
G, as in the assignation belched forth by the rap scene of the 90s.
G: Musical note, or the first chord beginning guitarists always learn
And Cheddar, I wasn't throwing anything your way, bro, it is just the way of the world these days. Sorry if I hurt your feelings. Totally unintended.
Man:
Man: Handbag rack for dancing women.
Cellist
Cellist: I knew a darn pretty one once in college. Also, Yo-Yo Ma. Also a person who draws a bow across four strings.
spikepip, your definition of man is one I intend to repeat in future at social gatherings and pretend I thought of it.
Pendragon, no hurt feelings, I just don't care for it when people get in my face with religion or politics. And I thought the first chord guitarists learned was E. I did. E minor, even, so deep and moody and if you then just learn A Major, you can play Pink Floyd's Breathe for hours and feel pensive and atmospheric.
Moon, as in dark side of.
Moon, Dark Side of the: That part of one’s butt that didn’t get completely exposed when mooning someone.
Handbag:
Handbag: Something for which innumerable bovines, alligators and who knows what other life forms have, literally, given their hides down through the ages. And well done, too, since some of those humungous designer handbags are works of art. Still more mysterious is the number and variety of objects women fit in them. I knew a gal who carried a government minister in hers.
Toenail Clipper, as in I've got one but can scarcely reach my toes to use it anymore.
Toenail Clipper: That item of personal grooming that now resembles a pair of cutting pliers as my toenails thicken as I age. My grandmother (true story) used a hacksaw blade on hers before she passed. She was just shy of 80...
Cheddar: Depends on how you learn the guitar, although I do love E minor! I learned by ear and a book, never had a lesson. I play flat-top well, lead electric not so good, but I can rock a bass with anyone with whom I have ever played music! Friend of mine plays ragtime piano like Jerry Lee Lewis and my bass makes it a great duo!
Grooming:
Grooming: The process by which a woman prepares a man to become her husband, often without his knowledge.
Husbandry
Husbandry: An art practiced by women and cattle ranchers with equal deftness, the latter with beasts of the field, the former with guileless men, who are even less aware than Bessie the prize milk cow of the myriad ways they are coaxed, goaded and manipulated by their owners.
Esurience, as in what I feel now and every morning, to the point that if I don't get a bagel soon it's lampshade time.
Esurience: Being so hungry you could eat a horse. This is one of those words you should not use unless you can pronounce it correctly and the other person expects sounds like that coming from your mouth.
For example,
Bernie: “Hey, honey, pop me another cold one from the fridge, will ya? I’m esurient!
Martha: “What is it, Bernie, you sure you ain’t gonna get? Could it be that beer?”
Horse:
Horse: Four legged animal that once was a must for anyone who needed to take a long trip, but are largely decorative in fields around here, standing proud and beautiful but almost never ridden. Also the adorable minis that the guy up the road near the airport raises. About the size of a hound dog.
Hound:
Hound (them)!: Job description of those who work in charity or insurance call centres.
smoke
Smoke: Air pollution.
Humungous:
Humungous: Thanks, YesNo, I wasn't sure you'd noticed. Oh, oh, I see. Sorry. Start again... Humungous: That which is way, way bigger than a breadbox.
Gravity Waves: (heads up, lads, this one tests whether you read other than the funny papers)
Gravity Waves: 1) Higgs boson on steroids (not literally) 2) What surfers at Mavericks discover 3) What gravy looks like when the gravy boat is shaken
Gravy:
1/. The most delicious part of the roast. 2/. The adjective used to describe a large, meticulously squared hole.
Computer
Computer: 1) Invention of the Devil for the subjugation of idle minds, offering many ways to waste time or the vice of one's choice 2) Powerful home device that allows me to be in contact with friends the world over such as the fine gentlemen and ladies who are reading this at the moment
Facebook:
Facebook: I must disagree with you, Pendragon, computers are groovy--Facebook is the invention of the devil. Oh goodness me, let me count the ways I hate Facebook. Tis the prime virtual residence and occupation of <insert obscene metaphor for certain kinds of people> the world over, who annoy you with photos you never wanted to see and stories and quips they think are hilarious but are more akin to bovine effluvia. Tis also the home of more forms of intrusive advertising and spying and trading on your surreptitiously gathered personal data than one could wiggle a zucchini at. I bleedin' hate the buggers.
Auto-eroticism:
Auto-eroticism: What an artificially intelligent computer uses to turn itself on.
Idle:
Idle: One of the Pythons, responsible for most of their songs, such as the Money song, I'm a Lumberjack (and I'm OK), the Universe song, etc. Undoubtedly the most active of the troupe, certainly in recent years, having written and produced numerous musicals and shows, including Spam-a-lot.
Spam:
Spam: A food of suspicious origin.
bovine effluvia:
What comes out of a cow after a night on the town, drinking Bullshots and human tipping.
Tired