because they can't break the back, the show must go on.
why are award shows so damn long?
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because they can't break the back, the show must go on.
why are award shows so damn long?
In order to give exposure to people that otherwise most of us would never have heard of.
Why is custard yellow?
Because it is not burnt.
Why cannot a fish live outside water?
Because they feel naked.
Why us the sun so hot?
Some one left the lights on
Why do we have catfish and dogfish but not peoplefish?
Because that would make us in to cannibals, and thus no better than fish.
Why is reality TV called so, when the one thing that isn't is real?
Because "Untalented, beautiful people given a script and maufactured drama" isn't as catchy.
Why is the grass always greener on the otherside?
Refraction, reflection and a warped imagination.
What is the point of the vuvuzela?
The nearest thing to a point is the end you blow in
Why do English football commentators all sound brain-dead or in Mick McCarthy's case like a bored zombie?
Largely because they ARE brain dead. I actually heard on not that long ago say "If that had gone n the net it would have been a goal". Even I, a Welsh Rugby fan, know that!
Exactly how hot is "piping" hot?
As hot as the late Gordon Duncan's bagpipe music.
Why did Shakespeare write in quotes?
Plagiarism.
If evolution is true, why do I wear glasses, but our cat doesn't?
Because cool cats don't wear specs and besides evolution's bunkum.
If I go to night classes will I be able to see in the dark?
Only if the classes happen to be in the cultivation of carrots.
Why do schools teach French when the only reason for going there is a holiday or for cheap booze?
You gotta at least know the words to order said cheep booze...
Why do people think meaningless triva shows education?
Because my English teacher, who was 5 feet 11 inches tall and had a mole on his left arm, said so! He had also never been in the Charge of the Light Brigade, but he liked quoting the poem.
What the heck is a league, anyway?
It was a typo... The word was originally meant to be 'Leg'... You know use your legs...
Why do we ask so many stupid questions?
Are you hoping I know enough to ask an intelligent one?
BECAUSE THEY HELP US TO SEE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEANINGLESS TRIVIA AND MEANINGFUL TRIVIA.
Why are there always plenty reasons for war?
Because there so many religions.
What is the difference between a Beano, a Bunfight and a Jamboree?
Is there one or is a a difference that makes no difference and so moot?
Why do we ask stupid questions?
Becuase without stupid questions, this 'ere thread would be a bit of a damp squib!
Why do we ask the questions we ask when we know that the answer is going to be stupid?
Because stupidly, we still need to know.
Did they call Henry the 8th, 8, because he had 8 wives?
Actually, it was the number of time he had meals per day. He could thus have been referred to as Henry the 8Ate
Why is history always considered factual?
Because we haven't considered whether it was written by the victor or the vanquished, both of whom seem to have a mildly different viewpoint. See British History.
Why did Boadicea change the spelling of her name to Budcca....Buddi...Budeccah...Bud. Just why did she do it?
Snobbery of the rich and famous
Why do we drive to the gym to run laps?
Just in case the gym runs away and we have to chase it.
Is it true the ocean never ends?
Yes, it does. When you get to the bottom, easily recognisable by rock, sand, the detritus that mankind has dumped there for millenia, and all of which you can't see because it's dark.
Why do some foods need artifical flavouring to make it taste like something else?
So you think it's real food.
Is heaven above ground or beneath?
We don't know, since some (but not me) propound the theory that we are all already dead, and this is Hell. 'Tis a view common in Sheffield, which is like Dante's Inferno with parks.
Why do so many restaurants print their menu in French, when the waiter comes from Blackpool, the Manager (Maitre d') from Birmingham and the chef is Lithuanian?
Snobbery
Why do people talk with an affected accent to make people think they understand more than one language?
My dear old thing, c'est la plus meme chose, a simple matter of Zeitgeist, it just has a certain je ne sais quoi, or, to put it another way, it is likened unto haemorrhoids - a pain in a certain part of the anatomyt that won't go away.
Come to that, when we are discussing English, why is it described so often as a Lingua Franca?
Because France invented all English inventions (I actually did forget the meaning of Lingua France :P)
Why are Roses SOO RED?
Because they are jealous of the yellow ones, and the white ones are a bit too elitist.
How can olive oil be "extra virgin"? Either you are or you ain't!
Because olives do the operation or bathe in Hera's spring or just fake it - they are bunch of fraudies those olives
Why are some people athletic?
So that the rest of us can sit there in an armchair with a beer and a pizza, urging them on but laughing quietly to ourselves.
Why, in the old films, was it necessary to tie the heroine to the railway lines to get rid of her, rather than merely bunging her over a cliff?
Because trains were the darkness from which films came MUHAHAHA
Why are clouds so puffy?
Because nobody told them to straighten up and fly right.
Why are dark clouds dark, when it's only water?
Because the water in them is so EMO
Why do parrots imitate?
Pieces of eight, pieces of eight! Who's a pretty boy then? What does EMO mean? Pieces of eight!
Do you like your given, or first name?