If you were a...

French fries.

If you were a fruit, which one would you be?

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If you were a soda what flavor would you be?

Whatever the hell it is they put in Sprite.

If you where a polyphonetic word, which one would you be?

I would be the simplest one to say while half asleep.

If you were the favorite tool of the favorite blacksmith of King Arthur, what would you be...
...and what would your prized non-warfare creation be?

Ok...my favorite tool would be the bellows that feed the fire, which makes it possible for all of my creations.

Now...second part...

What would be the greatest NON-warfare creation of this blacksmith?

Horseshoes. . .

If you were punctuation mark, which would you be?

?

If you were that horseshoe, what would the horse's name be that you were shod on...and what would be his main purpose?

Pedigree, and he'd have a bright future in the dog food business.

If you were a dinosaur, how did you and your friends REALLY die off?

We aren't dead...we're just hiding...

If you were a large rot iron gate around a grand estate, who would you be keeping out?

I'd be keeping the inhabitants in (segregation of the rich, you don't want snobbery to spread to the general public).

If you were the peel of some fruit (sans the fruit) where would you be?

Kiwi

If you were an object sitting on the pinnacle of a mountain overlooking a region, what would you be...and what would you be overseeing?

A lighthouse looking over all the ships in a harbor...

If you were an elf at the north pole, what assembly line would you prefer to work on?

Making trains... Have always loved toy trains.

If you were a movie star, which one would you be?

Bruce Willis (looks good even with no hair)

If you were a train car, which one would you be?

Oh, the first, I get to run the roost.

If you were a ship, what would your name be?