We used to do birthday bumps as kids too, I wonder if they do it in the USA.Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
I think that's called a Boston Marriage lol.Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
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We used to do birthday bumps as kids too, I wonder if they do it in the USA.Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
I think that's called a Boston Marriage lol.Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
There's a co-incidence it rained here as well:rolleyes: It also snowed, it was sunny, it was hot and it was cold at times. I was shedding and donning clothes faster than a Vagas burlesque artist t'other day.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
What! Farmers moaning, I don't believe it.
I see a few places have still been getting snow.Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
Down here, it's the warmest start to winter ever; we're getting up over 20 degrees a month from the shortest day.
I know! I was surprised as hell.Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
It's been the coldest spring for a while here in the Midlands - nothing like Prends weather though. It has meant that all the spring flowers have come out at once and the Hawthorn - mayflower, is just blossoming. It bloomed in early April last year.
It's a black day in Kiwiland.
We've just had the first ever prison guard killed by an inmate. Story is here.
There are times when I despair of humankind.
Today is one of those times.
Little kids, two and five years old, and a piece of human waste takes away their dad - all to prove what a tough guy he is.
There will never be a better advertisement for capital punishment.
Horrible. It's always horrible for the family.
Guys, honorary ladies, aliens and whoever else is on the premises, you are never going to believe this. I have just been released from the prison unit for the criminally insane. Apparently it was all a misunderstanding, my defence which involved dwarves, sporrans and Yorkshire farmers was not universally believed. The one thing that pulled me through was my tattered copy of ' Waiting for Godot ' Mrs Jocky was a rock in my time of troubles as she steadfastly supported me by refusing to visit, selling the house and moving in with the local tycoon, for my benefit, of course ! I have to go now and take my green medication. :)
JOCKY !!!Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Thank God your back!!
I knew you would come back one day.
I searched high and low for you. Why, I even dared to step into the coffee shop looking for you.
Welcome back and I hope the medicine works.
Gilliatt
You deserve a better welcome than my previous half baked attempt.
Let me see what I can quickly pull together from my bag of overused props so we may have a proper Jocky welcome back celebration.
Here we go...
http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/a...a/IMG_1409.jpg
http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/a...a/IMG_1406.jpg
http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/a...1/IMG_1470.jpg
http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/a...1/IMG_1342.jpg
http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/a...a/IMG_1461.jpg
Gilliatt
Gilly, I do not deserve this, vodka, beer, an alien chart, Sir Walter Scott and Dustyevsky. Yul Brinner was ace in the ' Brotherers Creamemoff ' Where, I should like to know, is brother indecipherable from Reno, Nevada ? Footnote, England won the twenty, twenty. I expect I may hear more of this in the morning.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
Good grief!Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
The Progidal Son returneth!
Welcome back, mate. Parker's been very worried about the fall in profits.
2 hours self-flagellation, I think, is in order.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
Atheist, you tell old Parker he has not got a worry in the world, once we have paid off our one and a half trillion debt the demand for a man who can pour a perfect Rioja at the correct temperature is indespensable :)Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Actually, he'd been smiling since he saw your creditor payout of 5p in the pound had come through, so his humour knows no bounds today!Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Easy.Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Ice & lemonade. Done.
Ay up Jocky, y' back then.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Its not the winning that counts, its the stuffing of the Aussies.
Mick it has all gone wrong, Ashley Cole has got better, John Terry's broken foot was not a broken foot, Rooney looks as though he will be fit. Well if we have a coalition government, I might as well support Engerland. Best of luck. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
Hehe so true. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
Australia's my least favourite cricket team since the Sydney Test between India and Australia.
Yes, all the world enjoys an Aussie loss.Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
Did Scotland not make the fitba cup?Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Crikey, your team must be useless, even New Zealand made it through to the finals. They'll need to send for bigger scoreboards when we play.
On a more serious note, I think it's patently absurd that a team like NZ goes to the FIFA world cup while good Euro teams stay at home. The only teams NZ are capable of beating come from Pacific atolls which are slowly sinking beneath the sea and have populations of under 10,000.
Someone at the top of soccer needs to wake up; we'll be an embarrassment to the tournament. If you get anywhere near a bookie, take NZ to lose by overs every game.
You're in good company, the 99.6% of the world's population that doesn't live in Australia has them as their least favourite team as well.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nikhar
:D
Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Thank you Jocky you are a Scholar and a Gentleman. By the way, have you seen Grebekken? He set off to search for you with the immortal words- "I'm just going out for a while, do you know where I can get one?
Welcome back Jocky. I have a remedy for your suffering - try this and the wife won't kick you out into the cold Northern hills. I alas needed a different remedy due to my beard that mitigates against my chinlessness. :biggrin5:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dy96t...layer_embedded
:biggrin5:
I was horrified when I visited London in mid-July and realized how few a/c's there were in the sweet little out of the way places...I think I'll change my vacation time if I ever get the chance to leave the US again.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
I don't think anyone would believe that the puddles on the nice velveteen couchs in the quaint bed and breakfasts were just part of sounds 70% water and not at all kidney related.
Odd thing, the mannish woman told me she had breast cancer early and did a double masectomy...I think maybe those girls use their breasts more than we do:skep:
Okay, what is a birthday bump; is it like a wack or a knock on the head?Quote:
Originally Posted by OrphanPip
Could a girl get pregnant doing it?
I shall be more careful around the Boston ladies if thats the case...:wink5:
Pictures, we want pictures...So have your sheep decided how to wear their coats yet. I have a "coon cat"; he still hasn't shed his winter coat.Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
I was considering doing a whole thread of Welcoming Back Jocky...
Oh well man, you know how much we missed you...Cheers:party:
Our guys have been "getting it" for years; the shame of it is that they are often old, trusting fellows who are about to retire. The firefighters have been getting a fair amount of damage also...Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Like everything else, policies have had to become to lax because of the drop of staff. I also find that prison guards often begin to empathise with these guys (often have a little brother in the pen)...
You know, I feed wild racoons all the time; but I am never think for a minute that they are grateful or that they trust me...And one wrong step and I've got a Davy Crockett hat (nah, just joking)
I'm going to have a little talk with Mrs Gilliatt; I think it's about time we throw out that jelly thing!Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
I'm glad you brought this thing to our attention; like other things that stop snoring and sleep apnea; it would be really uncomfortable. I am considering using it as a chastity belt for some of the stray cats...or maybe I'll dress as some southern general on halloweenQuote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
Ah yes, The Chin-up Strip, sounds like a British morale booster in a box.
Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
:lol:
The redness around his face gives the game away. Face like a slapped backside; you'd be spending at least 2 nights a week on the settee to let the old visage recover.
Rhonda and I were just discussing this old story and I thought I'd pas it on. it is duckshooting season, after all.
A few years ago, we were living in the south of Auckland, right on the border of the city. Every morning, we'd get up and a number of ducks and assorted birds would be waiting for us to throw some bread out for them.
Two ducks in particular, an old mallard pair, were regulars.
We hadn't seen them for a few days and were outside in the evening when I saw the old pair, led by the heavily-hobbling male, making their way towards us from across the paddock.
Despite being uninjured, the female was walking with the male and they eventually made it to our front door.
The old fella was too weak to eat much, so I caught him and we took him to the vet. I figured that he'd probably been attacked by a dog.
I don't know whether the old fella survived, but I would think so; it seemed to be a broken wing, which birds usually recover from. We thought it was quite amazing that a wild duck could not only figure that it needed human help, but which human to go to for help. I'm pretty sure most of our fellow residents in that area would have eaten him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Hehe lol... And I thought I had a prejudice that I shouldn't.
Aww.. that's really sweet. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Even I loooooooove animals. Pity I can't pet them.
I've heard about compassionate ducks before. It's a nice story. It's funny how we view animals - this is meat, this is a lovely pet.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Hello doll, I'll be sure to remember next time. And you are not a dupe, you are a gentle soul.Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
..
Here's one y'all just got to love:
http://kunaljanu.files.wordpress.com.../confusion.jpg
:thumbsup:Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
I think animals and bums have that instinct. We have a family of cats who have come to my house when they are pregnant to get extra food, when they have kittens, and when they want to show off for their boyfriends that they can get extra food by looking through my sliding glass door and looking very pitiful. It's funny, the birds sit on the fence behind them; knowing that they just want to show the best males that they can get food.
I started realizing that the mothers on the block were also sending their teenage sons to my door for food and money; as soon as I started putting them to work instead, the teens stopped coming.:devil:
I tend to keep the whole thing separate: I never eat anything I can make a pet or that has sad eyes: No veal, goat, rabbit...I only eat other things if they are from the market. I recall the first time I realized that the wonderful fried chicken on my aunts table was the one my uncle said, "Hey, you want to see a chicken do somersaults; he picked it up by the neck and swung it around...it didn't look to good afterwards":sick:Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
I like that, I think I'll put it under my avatar...now if I can figure out...:smash::mad2: almost got it..:eek::crash::crash: Guess I'll call my daughter on that...:biggrin5:Quote:
Originally Posted by dizzydoll
LOL, do you want the link for it? Just joking doll, I put a beauty on your profile page.
I was looking up some old blogs. this one will crack you up. Discussion on 'My Last Duchess' by Browning, this is not the exact quotes but as near as I can recall ' Do you think she is dead ? ' Reply ' She may well have been murdered ' Duh!
I'm just always behind the times; all the musicians I listen to are dead, all the writers are read are dead, all the men I love....ummmm, are barely legal plus 5 or dead...:frown2:Quote:
Originally Posted by dizzydoll
I was trying to recall the peer of Browning who described his work as "mediocre at best"; but I have met many who say he was a genius...I personally don't see it. I do admire the man and his great love story.Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
This means we could get into a discussion of Victorian poets and I know Parker does not appreciate this, Frau Lippi Lippino has been known to send him into a fit of despair. Next thing you know we could be discussing the Metaphysical Poets , the Pre-Raphaelites and who knows where it might it all end. ? Geez, Brian Bean might get re-animated and then we will all be done for. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
:lol:
Quite right.
Parker has been known to quote a dirty limerick or two, but poetry? Never.
Mick, you are working way too hard, relax and have one of Mrs Miggens mince pies, you know it makes sense. See life gets a lot simpler when one is retired, through no fault of my own I might add. Did you hear about the ex- lawn mower salesman from Aukland! I will private message you on that one. Apparently he joined the Red Bigade, messed up and ended up with the Red Shirts in Thailand. If it had not been for Parker and the smelling salts life might be very different. Joke ;)
:biggrin5:Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Now Jocky, I know Mrs Jocky can be difficult, but don't you go getting ideas!
Well, you know in any intellectual discussion, you guys would just leave me in the dust; then I would have Parker give me the bottle and the next thing I know I'd be dancing on Atheists barbecue with a mallard as partner...Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Ah well, maybe I shall try to get Parker drinking with me so he'll quote his limericks to me...Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Mrs Jocky is a fine lady who can discuss the most obscure literature, cook the most difficult christmas fare and still keep Jocky coming back to lit net happy ...lets all drink to Mrs Jocky...Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
Ah yes, and we'll also drink to the superb and beautiful Mrs Atheist...
Let's also have a drink for Mrs Paul, Mrs Mick....is everything beginning to move...Parker, where is the man now....when I said dress the duck I meant in a tuxedo...
:biggrin5:
This thread is great.
J...N.. what the...?
ahh, that's better!
Just stopping by to say howdy. I was having trouble typing due to the heavy layer of "agent white" chemtrail dust that settled on my keyboard.
My old lady left the windows open last night (I had chili WITH beans), allowing the dust to infiltrate the house.
By the way Jocky, is the green medicine having any affect? and how are those pigeons doing?