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murmered some words I'd picked up from Marie LaVoe during a stretch in New Orleans, and turned her into the toad that she really was! I took my tickets, thanked the googled-eyed clerk, and as I waited for my train, I tried to remember how that spell of forgetfullness started. Hummmm....
Take the zest of one lemon and add to a mixure of flour, butter and garlic. Wait, no that isn't it. ER, eye of newt? Nope that doesn't sound right either. Gosh I am so forgetful. Why I can't even remember my...
...own phone number. Not that that matters much, since it's been disconnected every since the winged pig chewed through the cord last June and nearly electrocuted himself, not to mention the catfish. But of course...
Ah! I turned and walked back to the man at the ticked counter. "Did you forget something, Sir?" He asked me. "No. You will however forget you ever saw me, and pass over any indications I was ever here." I said four words that were in a language archaic when Rome fell. He passed over my information, and I went back just in time to catch my train. Close one. They'd be finding that body soon, and then...
my matched set of winged pigs and catfish will begin to mistrust me. Ah, cruel fate! I bellowed at my fellow train riders "Cursed, cursed am I!!!" Just then something even more peculiar happened...
...................to me. But....
que sera sera, eh? The 2 headed bearded lady with blue hair looked at me and said (out of her left head) "Pal, you think you are cursed? You should meet my friend Sally, now there is a..."
----" At which point her opposite hand slapped her and her other head growled "Shaddup, Dolly, you old idiot! I've told you to quit talking about me behind our back!" "Well," Retorted the first head, "You are the one that got hit with an ugly stick so hard it crossed your beady eyes!" "Like we ain't twins, dear heart!" Sally snapped back with venom in her voice. Both yelled at me. "Hey! Where you going?" I named a nice warm place I thought they should go...
namely, Arizona, because it is a dry heat and would be good for uglystick induced arthritis. "Capitol idea, my dear fellow" Dolly said approvingly. Sally took the opportunity to whack her twin upside the head and ask her why she "is talkin' like some Masterpiece theater snootyboots." This gesture did not go over well, so I ...
decided to find a seat in the next car. A well dressed gentleman was sitting there smoking. No, I mean He was smoking! "Ah, Eddy, how ya doin'?" He knew I hated it when he pulled that New York accent. "Enjoying your new digs? I see you have already dined...
...because you are such a slob. You really are, Eddy". "Do I know you?" I asked. He said...
..."No... but you will." He then turned away. Apparently, I was dismissed, as he was now absorbed...
at picking very disturbing, unidentified yet nasty looking "chunks" out of his teeth. I shuddered in disgust and even (I will admit) a little fear and said....
"Uh, I suppose you know you're on fire?" He grinned showing a double row of sharp teeth. "Blimey, mate! So that's where th' ruddy smoke's coming from." He stopped smoking at once, fished a cigar out of his pocket and lit it with his finger. "Senor, you disappoint me. I who have done so very much for you. And you don't even recognize Old Nick when he comes to see you. Bad for business." I searched for a reply...
...by cracking open a fortune cookie. I read it silently to myself, first. It read, "The secret to happiness lies in giving happiness to others." Now, I believe that any fortune cookie saying can be made more profound by adding the words, "in bed." I read the slip of paper out loud. "The secret to happiness lies in giving happiness to others in bed." Nick looked at me oddly, then...
he said: "Aye, and ye made yer bed a long toime agone, dinnae ye, Eddy me laddie? Sure and ye'll lie in her tae, so ye will!" Abruptly he changed accents and spoke one I couldn't mistake. "When you deal with the Devil, Eddy boy, don't try to fix the game. I hold all the cards. You wanted eternal life. So you have it, in a way. Vampires do not die, Eddy. They must be destroyed. I have your soul either way." Nick vanished in a puff of...
yellow fog, reminding me of a T.S.Eliot poem. "Hmm" I said to myself "Self, you sorely need to get a clue" Just then someone said "One clue, coming..."
through my boot soles, with a swipe of this magic marker.' The answer is...
Five." "Five?" I asked incredulously. "What kind of answer is that?" "Oh," said the little boy who was now seated in a desk beside me. "It's the answer to my math problem." "But I was just in a...
BUT I WAS JUST IN Another one of my day dreams, oh my gosh look out the window at that enormous purple.....
people eater! A one-eyed, one-horned flying purple people eater? Evidently, the last guy I "dined" upon had some sort of hallucinogenic in his blood. Vampires have to watch out these days. People take all this crap and it gets into their blood, and then you get a freaked out vampire on the streets! Worse they carry diseases in their blood. I knew a vamp out in San Francisco that got Ebola...
from snacking!!! you see what happens to little vamps who dont listen..."Mr Luicious did I not tell to clean your fangs before you step into my class", the rest of you turn.....
"...to page 36 in your text and let's all read out loud to pass the time until Young Mr Luicious returns from his roost with clean fangs." Suddenly a loud and yet muffled thumping occured and....
.....a shout to take cover was sounded in the class. As the undead covered their pale faces against the rays of light that shone through the........
...the splintered opening in the oak door, a face appeared in the opening and said, baring his teeth in a sarcastic grin and looking wild-eyed, "Here's Van Helsing!" Fortunately, most of the class made it to the escape tunnel hidden in the...
cafeteria. Unfortunately, the escape tunnel led to the Cafeteria-Lady's house, and she was just getting ready to start tomorrows lunch and she was out of meat. Grinning blackly, she said, "Hello children!" and....
Suddenly the roving gang of prepubescent girl werewolves from like 5 pages ago (!!) burst through the door. In a show of solidarity with their fellow creatures of the night they said "Edna" (for all Cafeteria Ladies are named Edna)..."Edna, we are looking at you and girlfriend, we can't see anything but meat" Seeing that the tide had turned Edna gulped loudly and.....
....tried to mutter something, "whats that, are trying to say something?" hissed one of the sanguins in an effort to show that the wakening was almost complete. They stepped closer, she stepped back. In her defence she blurted out "is this what I get in return........
[QUOTE=Scheherazade;153665]Here is another game (OK, I 'borrowed' the idea from another Forum!):
Comlete the thought started by the previous person and offer another one yourself.
E.g.You should get a cake today...
because it is your birthday!
Here we go:
[B]I wonder why..the bush burns every summer and how it grows back so quickly
"Well, you did call us to dinner!" One of the young werewolf girls said licking her chops. Eddy meanwhile became a wolf himself, a vampire power he'd forgotten up till the moment, and mixing into the pack tried to slip away. However, he had forgotten that these young werewolves were all female and just hitting puberty. "A male wolf!" One howled. Eddy got out of there almost literally like a bat out of hell...
Before they made him come to a sleepover party and tried to braid his fur/hair (dpeneds on whether it is a full moon or not). This was really weird because....
he was dead!
At the library...
a strangely dressed grey-haired man was doing research on the paranormal, completely oblivious to the fact that it had been taking place practically under his own nose! But such is the way of some people. They go searching for the answers to questions and miss what is right in front of them all the time! It was why Old Nick chose this moment to reappear, and approach the grey haired old man. He knew the man would have no clue as to whom he was actually speaking, so...
he decided to dress up in a sparkly sequined jumpsuit and call himself Oomphy Gludgett. Why he did not choose something more subdued in order to preserve his anonymity is not clear, nor is the choice of clothing, but sometimes...
in an effort to distance himself from his aristocratic roots, he would play.......
a fast paced game of Peasant Checkers, always making sure to lose. An interesting trick on his part, yet....
the grey-haired man had strange look of familiarity on his weathered face, could it be he thought to himself, could it really be ........
yes, it was! Old Nick knew the grey-haired man right enough. The old busy-body had clashed with Old Nick before. He was a certain paranormal investigator of some note, whose initials shone on the clasp of his oversuffed briefcase M.G. What Old Nick couldn't figure was what the busy-body was doing here. He had made no move when a vampire changed shape before his very eyes, nor when Old Nick popped out of nothing. Oh, well. Forget the paranormal investigator. Eddy was Old Nick's prey tonight, and it was already nearing the midnight hour; time was...
Fleeting and swift, like a herd of snails caught in molasses. "Hmm" I said to myself, "why I really should...."
try and stick my diet.MG turned to Nick and smiled.........