Suggestive: Having the appearance of something without actually being it, such as the way a woman wears short, tight, low neckline clothes but still says she is modest and not for hire
Backwards:
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Suggestive: Having the appearance of something without actually being it, such as the way a woman wears short, tight, low neckline clothes but still says she is modest and not for hire
Backwards:
Backwards: with the backside foremost.
Giggle:
Giggle: The results of trying not to laugh in someone's face
Stupid:
Stupid: My wife’s rating for the comedies I enjoy watching.
Comedy:
The label Hollywood's promotional machine gives to unwatchable films that try desperately to be funny and exciting while succeeding only in curing insomnia.
Witless:
Witless: The defining characteristic of the human race. Except oneself, obviously.
Teacake:
Teacake: A fancy donut. If your wife has banned you from eating donuts while indulging in coffee or, if you really have to, tea, calling that sweet piece of baked delight a "teacake" might help.
Donut:
Donut: The defining characteristic of the human race, or at least North Americans, or at least Homer Simpson.
And YesNo, what do you mean "tea, if you really have to," hm? HM? Come out as a tea hater and I'll report you to the vice squad.
Sequester:
Sequester: The absurd idea that you can take the members of a jury in a high profile case and keep them somewhere where they cannot be tainted by public opinion. Not only is the idea ridiculous, but, in the case of OJ Simpson, highly expensive.
Political Debate:
Political Debate: Given the choice between participating in a political debate and having my head locked in a cage full of hungry rats while my gonads were covered in honey, then lowered into a pot of fire ants, I can honestly say...Well, OK, in that instance I might actually have to choose political debate, but anything short of that and you can forget it.
Loathing:
Loathing: A kinky form of loving.
Kinky:
Kinky: There is a scene in Mel Brooks' High Anxiety in which Cloris Leachman is dressed as a Nazi SS officer and is subjecting Harvey Korman, who is chained to a wall in a closet, to the full dominatrix treatment. Although the very thought makes me want to vomit, this is how I have always imagined a certain female politician who is currently running for President in her <shudder> private moments. (The Cloris Leachman character, not Harvey Korman, needless to say.) This type of intimacy falls under the heading of kinky.
Heave:
Heave: Unable to throw up as anyone who has ever had the dry heaves could confirm!
Insult:
Insult: A tool in the art of making enemies.
Enemy:
Enemy: A corpse you haven't made yet.
Gift:
Gift: What certain individual's deaths are to the world, though no one will say it out loud. OK, I will.
Relief:
Gift: As The Devil's Dictionary is a very cynical book, Gift: Something grudgingly given by insincere people to other people who can't wait for the day after Christmas to return it, as they neither want it nor appreciate it.
Christmas Spirit:
Christmas spirit: A fictional frisson of warmheartedness and generosity, the reality of which is lust for material objects, usually the electronic kind sold at stores like Best Buy.
You forgot to offer a new word, Tyrion. I have no clue what "frisson" means, so how about
Frisson:
Frisson: a sudden strong feeling of something, a thrill, a rush.
Perspicacity:
Perspicacity: The part of town where the sweatshops are located.
Sweatshop:
Sweatshop: Gym
Exercise:
Exercise: To evict demons from areas or peoples possessed by them.
Demon:
Demon: What people smell like after exercising.
Svelte:
Svelte: Someone who looks elegant or graceful and easier to pronounce than this word.
Graceful:
Graceful: To move with smooth motion
Disgraceful:
Disgraceful: something you can shake your head at, without trying to do anything about it.
Hunger
Hunger: A desire for food that when not satisfied first leads to getting thinner and healthier but then when overdone, voluntarily or not, leads to death. Is the moral that what is healthy leads to death? No. There’s no moral.
Thin:
Thin: Traditionally, a thin is conceived as any action that transgresses the will of God, or which perverts Nature. Mind you, most of those who preach against thinning are the biggest thinners of all, and some people who are notorious thinners are also the most charismatic of persons, secretly loved and envied by the pious and virtuous. Oscar Wilde captured this with the following quip via the mouth of Dorian Gray: "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the thins you never had the courage to commit."
Lisp:
Lisp: One of the words a person with a lisp can’t pronounce.
The Will of God:
The Will of God: The excuse people use for why bad things happen, why they have a bad attitude, and why they believe things without question.
Extraordinary:
Extraordinary: Even more than normally normal. Or to paraphrase Steven Wright, it's ordinary, just a little extra.
Din:
Din: As any parent knows, this is the state of parental insanity caused by having several dozen children in close quarters such as at a birthday party, summer camp, or a play date
Amnesia:
Amnesia: 1) Oh wait... I fogot; 2) What Nesia am; 3) Milk of amnesia is used often to cure stagnant thought, and curiously enough as an aid for constipation
Constipation:
Constipation: The most important and politically evolved founding document ever written, it outlines a system of government which is the best anyone's come up with, even if it sucks, and is rarely adhered to anymore. Also, the Constipation came with an addendum stating that we as citizens have certain rights, called Constipational rights, therein enumerated and said to be given to us by God, or possibly the makers of Metamucil, which may never be infringed upon--an assertion the NSA laughs at till they spew dietary fiber from every orifice.
Surveillance:
Surveillance: The word used by the NSA to cover anything from illegal wire tapping to gross infringement of Constitutional Rights. The word is usually part of sentence that also contains the words "in the interest of Home Security" or "for the greater good." Both are to be defined by the NSA on a need to know basis. If you are watching, NSA, I deny the preceding sentences were actually typed by me. It is that darn Poltergeist, Willy, doing more "automatic writing."
Basis:
Basis: Speaking of willy, I'd like to show mine to the NSA on a regular basis.
Police State:
Police State: America. Where else do cops murder with impunity, while the Government still proclaims us a free people?
Murder:
Murder: The dark, devastated landscape where can be found Sauron's tower and Mount Doom, and if Frodo and Sam aren't careful, the Dark Lord'll catch them and eat them.
Legend:
Legend: 1) Fantasy movie w/ Tom Cruz & Tim Curry with music by Tangerine Dream & Jon Anderson, et al; 2) What rewritten truth and/or fiction becomes after time prior to attaining mythological status; 3) Elevated status of popular sports figures, Holly/Bollywood actors, etc. (usually) after their prime. 4) John & Johhny's last name
Shred: