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e-e-e-e-w! I really like your response.Quote:
Originally Posted by papayahed
I have a supervisor (whom I cordially dislike, and whose judgement I truly question) who has called me 'dear' on occasion. It's not a as bad as 'baby' for sure, but I still find it incredibly condescending.
ouch, Papaya, those red pulsating thingeys look painful, like really really raw hemmoroids.
I worked in an office for the MInistry of Social Services once and I happened to start when the really really big macho boss was off for holiday.
I was terribly shy and nervous, all the workers were much older except this one guy and he treated me so properly, he in fact got me the job.
Well Big Boss man came and he was portly and swaggered, can you believe it, he swaggered about and actually had the nerve to light a pipe. I felt like I was choking and he then turned and noticed me.
He waltzed up to my desk and said ' Hey baby, you are new here I see.
And then he proceeded to put his ample behind on the edge of my desk. I turned bright red and I felt like I would be sick. I am terribly shy of strangers and never talk to men type people that I don't know, unless introduced by a friend or such.
'Please move off my desk sir' I said in a wimpy little voice and he laughed.
"Do I bother you hmm, and he leered at me and noone, noone except the nice young man dared to even look our way He came out of his office and tried to get the man to come and talk to him about something or other.
The boss man just ignored him and kept staring at me.
I was sick to my stomach. I so needed the job, but I knew that if I said a word I would be gone.
At lunch break everyone took off and left me sitting there in devestation.
At about five minutes to coming back from break I cleaned out my desk and went home. I was attacked by everyone for being a coward. I did get another job there, but in the field I was best at, working with at risk youngsters.
I can never look back on that without a feeling of shame. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
The way you told that story, though, you shouldn't be shameful! That would be hard, perhaps horrific, to put up with every day! And in the "Ministry of Social Services!" Seems like that kind of treatment would be on their hit list, of all ministries! =(
At least you were able to get the kind of job you really wanted! So the story has a happy end, right? =)
hello there! may i joint you and drink a cup of coffe?
This was very good IJMTU. I'm not too feminist but this one is sutile ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by IJustMadeThatUp
May I jump in here. Women jump into the man's thread ;) That is completely inappropriate and frankly it was inappropriate (though unfortunately tolerated) in the old days as well.Quote:
Originally Posted by papayahed
I waitressed right out of highschool for a little while in a restaurant that was owned by my friend's family. They had this one uncle, Saleem, who was a huge pervert. One day I was plugging in the vaccuum to clean up at the end of the day, and he came out and stood about two inches away from me. I was so uncomfortable that I blurted out some random facts about electricity in citrus fruit (whenever I'm nervous I blurt out some stupid thing that I learned and thought was interesting). He actually picked up the cord for the vaccuum and said "where should we plug this into you?" My brain was like "He can't possibly be asking me which part of my body I want him to insert the vaccuum cord." I was saved by one of the younger cousins coming out of the kitchen. The way he jumped away from me, I knew that he knew that what he was doing was wrong. One other time he put his finger right on the collar of my shirt and dragged it down between my breasts. I kicked him in the shin, hard. He probably had a huge bruise. He was a pretty creepy guy. I actually feel nauseous when I think of him.
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Originally Posted by Virgil
Yeah. unfortunately there are still pockets of "the good ol'e boy" network around that are still living in 1953.
Hold your chin up papaya and give them a scowl if they do that.Quote:
Originally Posted by papayahed
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Originally Posted by JuniperWoolf
oh that gives me the shivers. I've had similar type experiences though never that bad. I've never had anyone proposition me with a vacuum cord. ewwww. I used to work at a grocery store and had a few customers who thought that they could say pretty much whatever they wanted because they were customers and I was an employee. Had a guy, a customer, a stranger, touch my necklace and I stood there like a dumbarse wanting to RUN but I didn't because I was stuck between two thoughts of "I'm at work" "It's a customer." One of my coworkers told me off later. She said something like I shouldn't have stood there like that and she was right. I had a few greasy old men come up and make comments about my figure. Had another one come up to me while I was adjusting the shelving and I don't know what he said...it was mostly incoherent but I got the idea - it was mostly the gestures that came across. There was another employee (a guy) standing by and he was just in shock at this and didn't know what to do so he laughed in disbelief and I just stood there all blank. :crash:
Stick a calender in their faces and highlight the year and date. :brow:Quote:
Originally Posted by papayahed
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Originally Posted by Eugenie
I think you did the right thing.
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Originally Posted by JuniperWoolf
Ugh! I feel nauseous just reading this! I'm glad you kicked him HARD!!!
Just the other day I slapped a guy for misbehaving. :mad:
I was walking towards the bus stop and there were people coming from the opposite direction; there was this guy who started walking very fast towards me, as if, I was in his way, even though there was a lot of space on the road where he could walk. He came so close, right on to my face that my reaction was to give him two tight slaps. He kept walking even after that, although I thought he may stop and try to create a scene. If he had done that....he would have had a few more slaps from me.
My friends in the office were advising me not to do it again incase I fall into trouble; what if he comes the next day with more people to harass me, and all that stuff. At that point of time, I did not care about any possible consequences.
Its not that such a thing hasn't happened before, but this guy had come really really close. I haven't taken action in every such case, because its not possible all the time (some guys just harass you and run off), and even if I did try, it would be like slapping two-three guys every day.
Once, I had got down at my bus stop and was walking towards home (it was past 9 in the evening, and I was late from office). There is one stretch on the road that has no streetlights working, so its dark. Two guys on a bike came and one of them slapped my back and they sped away....I was very furious and I couldn't do anything :flare: I was sooooooo mad for the next couple of days....
There are so many other worse incidents... :(
These things really make me think that guys are good for nothing.... cant generalise it though...there might be some decent guys out there...but I have yet to come across one.....
I know how you feel. Sometimes I feel so much hatred that I can't stand it. I tried to take a woman's studies class at school, but being presented with so many cases of disgusting things (human trafficking, rape, abuse, ect.) every day made me literally sick. I had to quit. I know this pediatric nurse, and she says that every couple of weeks they get a little baby in that's been abused. Saying that someone's "been abused" takes the horror away from what happened to them: they were ripped right open, and they had semen in their lungs. There are A LOT of dark, evil things out there that suck the beauty right out of the world. Its overwhelming.
My marriage anniversary is on Tuesday - I'm sitting here trying to think of something to do for it. I've never really been one for all the traditional stuff so I don't know if this is the paper anniversary or the silver one or what. I didn't even have a wedding so I don't even care. I was just trying to think of something fun to do or something to get for him. He asked me if we could go on a date last night. It was not for our anniversary because he had completely forgotten about that. But, we haven't been doing much date or activitywise for the duration of our marriage so this past December we went out on a Friday and went to a concert. There was a Christmas parade that night and Ice Skating at the square in the middle of town and they had hot dog stands and funnel cakes and it was like a small town Christmas and it was fun. We ate burgers in the park where the homeless usually are and it was quaint. So, he was wanting a repeat of that night. And I am thinking nights like that can't be repeated at will, so I was just trying to think of something new to do.
that's a toughie
HAPPY ALMOST ANNIVERSARY SHALOT! I mean that. You will think of something, you have buckets of brains. (that sounds gross, but I mean it in the best possible way :)
Juniper, I am very sorry that happened to you.
And thankyou for the support guys, because , honestly I have carried guilt around for a while about quitting. I felt I had the word LOSER on my forehead. I just could not bear that.
Oh, Virgil, are you one of those nice feely touchy fellows like Alan Alda who are good to women and have a decided feminine side? or is that in fact not your real picture with the doggie, are you in fact a stunning looking female model who cannot resist sharing with the girls?
come on now, the truth. :)
I'm going to be like Virgil here...I've gotta chime in and say, JW...you hit the wrong target! I've always been a little too shy to say even the respectful things to women, but I could never imagine saying something disrespectful. ...and to TOUCH...that was never something that I did until my WIFE said it was fine. (yeah...I'm old fashioned!!) There are only two girls that I have ever called 'Baby'...one is 5 (and tells me that she's not a baby...at which I tell her that she will always be my baby) and the other is almost 3....and she just giggles because she's getting attention).Quote:
Originally Posted by JuniperWoolf
But the problem is....that too many 'girls' (and I say girls, because they are often acting like teenage girls)...just giggle because some creep of a guy is giving them attention. If it didn't work for them...they wouldn't do it. The 'nice' guys never get anywhere........and yet they continue to be nice anyway. :) I'm trying to teach my girls how a lady is to be treated by a man. I hope that they will understand, and expect nothing less.
I'd better just take my coffee to go...I don't want to wear out any welcome that I might have.
Really? That's the problem? So no blame for the guys? It seems to me that if we do a root cause analysis the problem actually seems to be with the upbrining of the men who think they can act and do such things?
men like that make me go :mad:
Oh another note... guess who kissed a really nice guy at the weekend! :banana:
The guys are jerks... Every time... There is no excuse... They are wrong... I too...at times...am wrong too!Quote:
Originally Posted by papayahed
Please don't be so defensive. I wasn't trying to point any blame on the ladies. It's cause and effect...
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Originally Posted by BienvenuJDC
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Originally Posted by papayahed
I'm really not being defensive I'm just pointing out the flaw in your first statement. I've bolded the parts that lead me to believe you were in fact blaming the girls. I apologize if I've misread.Quote:
Originally Posted by BienvenuJDC
Sorry...maybe I should have said that one of the problems is...Quote:
Originally Posted by papayahed
Coming from a 'nice' guy...I wasn't pointing the blame at the girls so much, but I really can't stand the egotistical guys that stole all the affections...
I was watching TV tonight with 2 of my (male) roommates. They put a terrible program on: Take Me Out. It is a dating program - taking it low as one might go. Or well... I bet they can go lower but that would mean going underneath the plumbing system!
The idea is this: take 30 women and one (male) presenter. These women are there to criticize one man - he's standing in front of them. There are 3 rounds:
1 - Looks
The guy says his name, age and where he's from. The women now get 5 seconds to either approve or disapprove. If they disapprove, it means they're out of the game. I have let my roommates tell me that of the 30 women usually about 20 are gone at the end of this round. Sometimes all women bail out! This means, the guy is send home and the next one can be brought in...
Imagine: you're a guy, standing in front of 30 women and only on your appearance 20 of them push a red button which makes an annoying noise and shows everybody that you're not good enough in their eyes. You have to be quite a man to be able to take that!
2 - Own presentation
The guy presents himself in 30 seconds. Either a home-video or a show on the spot... during this presentation, the women can still hit that button to disapprove.
Imagine: you're a guy and you tell that you like romantic dinners with candle light. In the episode I was watching, 5 girls disapproved - leaving 2 girls...
3 - Presentation by mother/friend
A 30 seconds video, shot by the mother or a friend of the guy.
END
If in the end there is a girl left who approves (yes, this does happen sometimes), they can leave the studio to go on a date. The show will not follow up on this. If more than one girl is left, the boy gets his pick - he may ask only one question. Usually though, there are no girls left...
Now I was commenting on this program and forcing my roommates to switch channels. I thought it was degrading, but in their opinion any guy who dared to stand up there was a "champ" and needed cheering, even if he could not hear it :p Yeah, my roommates are sweethearts ;)
They also mentioned something else, which got me thinking. They said that this program could never have been made the other way around. Letting a girl enter and be judged by 30 guys?! That would have really made the papers - people would call about women discrimination etc. Even though the girl would stand there out of her own free will, just as the guys are now.
I feel like they might be right. Not now anymore, as the program already exists in this format so it can not be called discrimination anymore to switch the places. But I am pretty sure people might have looked at it that way if a group of guys was criticising a girl...
We do have an other program though, called "Pretty Smart". In this program 3 teams of 2 girls answer questions like "How long did the 100yrs war last" and "Where was the Vietnam War fought". 3 Teams of 2 guys have to guess which answer the girls are gonna give... I do not think anybody has called it offensive so far. I would like to see that program the other way around too, but I do not think that will ever happen... Or a "Beauty and the Nerd" with girls as Nerds and guys as Beauties...
A couple of things, I almost hit a guy in the street this morning. There I am walking back from the shop smiling in aticipation to myself ( about? for? :confused: yo grammar police!!)) my home made hommous . The street is deserted, right , except for me and this guy walking towards me and suddenly jsut as he walks past me he does this slight lean towards me sniffs and goes no english equivlent its a muslim thing to say mashallah sort of God does goood work type thing.
so he leans over sniffs and goes Masallah Niiiiiiiiiiiice.
I was stunned. I mean who goes round sniffing people? but I am most proud of the fact I did not wack him upside the head as my flatmate puts it. I kept walking and breathing.
( and my hommous was very nice! except it wasnt hoummus it was baba Ganoush- aubergine and tahini dip)
second thing a question. My flat mate sort of conned me into ironing her ball gown this evening - nightmare task, and when I (after an hour) finally concluded that flat ironing it just wasnt going to work she was going to apply direct hottest temperature iron ( luckily i stopped her an dsaved the dress) but in the end I ended up rubbing the dress after she was weraing it and pointing a hairdrier at it to smooth out the wrinkles.
Now I can iron most things but what the hell are you *supposed* to do with slinky ball dress things?
about you hummous.
and thats hillarious! hahaha!
I was walking through connelly station once and some guy commented on my "nice" walk.
Wouldn't it be in anticipation of your hummus?
I have no clue about the ball dress. I thought people just took things like that to the cleaners. I pretty much suck at ironing in general.
but it hadnt been made yet so it would be more along hte lines of about hte hummous she was going to make... surely?
see this is why I leave grammar to the experts !
*drops crate of whiskey on table* Irish coffees anyone? :D
Hmmm.... can't say no to that! Even though it is lunch time :lol:
:lol:
What can I say... I just really, really like Irish Coffee :D
You know, they had an alcohol-free version of it over here? It gives the flavour but not the actual percentage... I like that version, but it does not come near to the real thing ;) It has been taken out of production now... :(
alcohol free irish coffee...? :confused: thats... just ... wrong...
Might as well. Need some Baileys to go with the Bushmills. go easy on the coffee.Quote:
Originally Posted by Niamh
*looks around conspicuously.
says, "don't worry, the beard's a fake.... ... ... ... men, eh? ... can't live with 'em... can't throw your knitting needles at 'em... ...
...
...
...
so how about those ladies...on ... the view?
...
...
...
anyone like sex and the city?... or soccer?"
:lol: Very casual conversation :p Not suspicious at all :lol:
As for Sex and the City, yes to the TV-series, no to the movie (except for that one belt Carrie wears). On soccer: I like to watch it when it's on, but I won't stay home for a game. Well, except when it's a very important game - but then I'll probably go to the pub to watch it :D
And sure you can throw knitting needles at men :p
wow, I missed buckets.
This thing about walking down streets and guys saying stuff. I have two minds about it. Men are more direct in some ways, though lately what I hear girls say to guys on the street is ....rather shocking to me anyway.
But I digress. I have noticed that some guys merely say something because it is how they feel at that moment and they mean absolutely no harm, and others..........well.
I used to, being a shy person, get freaked out when I would be thinking my own thought and pass by a guy who would say 'hello pretty girl, or hello beautiful.' But that is all they meant and they were not trying to be anything. And I remember a little while ago, stanind outside a restaurant with a friend and there was a huge cluster of tourists from Denmark I think, guys and girls about twenty fiveish. They were dressed ultra cool and all were so much taller than me, I felt like I was a Liliputian.
Suddenly one of the guys looked over at me , disengaged himself from the group and ran over to me.
I love you he said and took my hand, and then ran back to his group. I just smiled, what else can you do. He did not mean any harm.
And once, at a rock concert, this kid, this little boy with moussed blonde hair turned to me and just at the break , asked me if after I would like to go for a coffee with him.
I said' um, I am older than you, quite a bit, and he said ' what has that to do with it and his little friend,said' what are you doin man and the boy ignored him. My girlfriend was laughing so hard and I asked her to knock it off. He just shared his feelings and if I were a fifteen year old girl I would have died rather than do that.
So, something inside them seems to leap out now and then in a poetic way. The other guys well, if they could grab you off the street and do you harm just for the thrill of humiliating you, they would.
So it is kind of fifty fifty and it is hard to understand guys, really , I can't. Maybe it is the day and age we live in. Maybe if it was in the time of Romeo and Juliette all the strange things guys come up with would have been thought romantic. But with guys the way they seem to be now, I can't guess what is going on in their little heads.
And Bienvenue, are there actually many nice guys around?, I wish there were.
When I was still in high school I had many friends, just guy friends, by choice and I told them from the start I would never be intimate, that is not me. And they were just my really good friends and so interesting and fun.
Where are the guys lilke that now, that you can hang with and .....Now I feel sad. sniff.
Still plenty of those around :D To me any ways, but maybe that's because I am still in the "student age". I hope that's not the reason though...Quote:
Originally Posted by Eugenie
Well i suppose seeing as you followed you may have a drink! :DQuote:
Originally Posted by imthefoolonthehill
:lol: *tugs beard* seems real to me! *hands drink*Quote:
Originally Posted by imthefoolonthehill
it is an illusion, I promise. Thanks for the drink.
*sneaks in wearing a chiffon dress and hills and sits quietly in the corner*
*suddenly realizes something: Oh wait! I AM a girl!*
:lol: