one more day I reckon and will deliberate.
keep them coming :)
Printable View
one more day I reckon and will deliberate.
keep them coming :)
YesNo
a superb piece well expressed
i loved the last line!
miyako73
a great piece with a great flow
a joy to read
Melanie
a well said piece so true
perfect!
tailror STATELY a fun piece to read with some amusing lines
and
i ''oft
eschew when sitting
with my minions''
what a great lien to end on!! :)
and the winner is tailor STATELY
just because it is that slightly different i think the inclusion of fauteuil/divan did it for me
Thank you cacian !
I thought to utilize a random word generator this time from http://creativitygames.net/random-wo.../randomwords/8 and chose -
Next: whistle
Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY
Alice will be on this train
That’s whistling through the freezing rain.
The whistle’s warning: take it slow.
She’s come from miles where you can’t go.
whistle wet
a kettle rattling
her little hat
and you prattling
our tongues at last
embrace the thing
we brave the blast
and let her sing
Sweet Gums
Whistle through the gristle,
that holds those ivory's tight.
Should one fall out, from sweet excess,
the pitch will change as will the bite!
jumping through the breezy spring day
she was
almost levitating
lifting her ample amaranth dress
high and higher
white polka dots gleaming like aftersmiles
shaking her auburn hair
she was
and whistling
itsy bitsy spider
TRENCH
deathdread - fearbled - prayersaid
whistle
wiretread - gunshred - bloodshed
white
to a bird a whistle
to hear it
little
grizzle
or sound
prickle
when something
thickle
Heard through the rain,
It rang my brain,
Was it a cop?
Should i just stop?
No, just a train!!
Enjoying the entries so far... Monday the 13th of April 2015 the final day for submissions.
Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY
Great entries all !... made it difficult at best to select one winner:
YesNo:
Whistle
Alice will be on this train
That’s whistling through the freezing rain.
The whistle’s warning: take it slow.
She’s come from miles where you can’t go.
AABB: 7/8/8/8... Interesting little ditty. Brings to mind: Alice of Alice's restaurant/Alice through the Looking glass/Alice B Toklas/ et al
Pompey Bum:
Whistle or Stolen Tea
whistle wet
a kettle rattling
her little hat
and you prattling
our tongues at last
embrace the thing
we brave the blast
and let her sing
Fun. A kettle's whistle: A/B/A(w/a soft rhyme)/B A/B/A/B... L4: I might have used a'prattling to keep the timing true; but then a little dissonance to thumb one's nose: priceless.
Gilliatt Gurgle:
Sweet Gums
Whistle through the gristle,
that holds those ivory's tight.
Should one fall out, from sweet excess,
the pitch will change as will the bite!
sibilant_x w/2sillybibbles)/A/sibilant_x w/2sillybibbles)/A: A pickle of a poem that made me smile.
DieterM:
jumping through the breezy spring day
she was
almost levitating
lifting her ample amaranth dress
high and higher
white polka dots gleaming like aftersmiles
shaking her auburn hair
she was
and whistling
itsy bitsy spider
“Aftersmiles” and “whistling itsy bitsy spider”: Delightful.
blank|verse:
deathdread - fearbled - prayersaid
whistle
wiretread - gunshred - bloodshed
white
A sound poem! Or perhaps... hmmm, casting out the irrelevancies: L1 - “Eddie Shredder” found within... Eddie Van Halen ?; L3 - “Her Strange Desire” found within... We get: Eddie Van Halen [phweet! Dude!] Her strange desire a white wedding (like, we all know otherwise {wink.wink.} )
cacian:
to a bird a whistle
to hear it
little
grizzle
or sound
prickle
when something
thickle
Playful - “little grizzle or sound prickle... thickle”:... I be duh thickle... Fo' shizzle !
colb2:
Heard through the rain,
It rang my brain,
Was it a cop?
Should i just stop?
No, just a train!!
AABBA. An alarming poem with a hint of humour. Step on the gas and Go!
.
.
.
After all said and whimsical I choose: DieterM... congratulations! And to one and all, well done.
Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY
Well done, Dieter, and I look forward to the next round.
tailor - that's an, um, interesting reading of my entry. I've given it a title now, so perhaps it will make more sense to you.
@ blank|verse: Ahhh, that would have really helped (I should have leaned on one of my recent poems). First I stumbled on what I was pronouncing as "furbled"; then my poor little mind started on the song "Day-O" (The Banana Boat Song) by HB, movie: "Beetlejuice" distributed by WB - directed by TB, starring AB & GD & MK.
Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY
tailor STATELY thank you so much for the feedback :)
and Dieter well done :!!