stubbed her toe on some heavy object that was just laying there.
"Oh my" she said "What am I to..."
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stubbed her toe on some heavy object that was just laying there.
"Oh my" she said "What am I to..."
...a big, strong man like you?"
He replied...
"Lola, (yes, that is the dame's name)..."Lola you are" ....
..., "A dame..." but his voice trailed off. Unfortunately, although able to read the most subtle clue in a crime scene, he had never learned to spell. He thought he was saying, "A damn...
tobacco fiend! When are you going to quit???!
His face turned bright red and suddenly...
he remembered, a case! This dame had a case for him. What was it?
Well, whatever it was, a case paid the bills, especially ...
those pesky overdue ones.
Setting his fedora firmly back on his head, he...
took off after the villain like an alpaca out of hell. (or possibly Tibet.)
"My god!" she shouted, suddenly realizing she had
...forgotten to wear socks with her sandals.
Dashing out after the hero, the dame...
threw her shoe at him shouting "gimme back my tobacco"
Fortunatly he had....
just finished patching the hole in the wall when his wife came home.
I looked in the hole but......
found no place to stash my trenchcoat. Sheesh, maybe I should look into getting a summer substitute for it.
wiping the beads of sweat from my brow, I...
reviewed the facts in the case. Then I remembered that the tobacco-breathed dame had failed to ...
...give me any facts in the case. I realized she had just been blowing smoke! That gave me an inspiration. I picked up the heavy black receiver of my phone and began to...
beat myself over the head with it, in the hopes of knocking out any other stray thoughts and memories. I then thought to myself "There must....
hi kathy!
. . . be a reason for all these turnips!" suddenly everything became clear. i . . .
...picked up her butt off the floor where she had...
. . . . unceremoniously sprawled as a result of the . . . .
fact that she couldn't see through her own cloud of smog! "Look. If you have a case for me, spill it, or get...
....lost in your own personal haze. Still, I might add that it's not all....
tea and cookies, you know. The detective business is an unforgiving one and...
*edit*
Hey lady! :wave:Quote:
Originally Posted by mir
worse still when you've hired a secretary out of pity who speaks not a word of English and is wholly incapable either of brewing tea or baking cookies. But still at the end of the day I find myself remembering what it is that makes it all worth it when I come home to my...
pet centipede named "Snookums". Next to dames, having pets is one of the best parts of...
of being a P.I. But I need facts and I staggered over to my desk. I keep three things in my drawer. Two 45's, I keep them loaded. And a fifth of tequila, which I was praying would...
...keep me loaded. "So, schweetheart," I slurred, either because I was loaded or because I was trying to imitate Bogart,...
. . . . which doesn't make sense, because my sweetheart detests Bogart in the most definitive and sincere way, albeit only . . . .
...because of a childhood trauma involving fedoras. She does, however, love Ingrid...
...who helped her out of said trauma, with her brilliant imitation of Mr. Bean's voice. Sadly, Ingrid has been twelve.....
years missing, but I don't take cases they don't pay me to take. "So, about this case o' yours." I was was beginning to feel the effects of...
...of the war taking place and...
also the number of fedoras stacked on my head. I must say that the...
mind boggling volume of unidentified furry objects really . . . .
boggled my mind as I went on, "Listen, Ing, heah's the deal...
"No facts, no case. Savvy? I got a business to run here and paying customers are ..."
...given priority over... well, everybody else. Now, if you want to cough up some cash just to chat, well then...
I will have to duck because I know what a bad smoker's cough you have. Other than that, I....
want the facts, see. Just the facts. I can't solve a case without facts and I can't get paid, see, without solving a case. And let me tell you something, sweetheard, you aren't anything but meal ticket to me, see?
As she tuned to face him, the dame. . . .
tripped over the litter of trenchcoats and fedoras all over the floor. "And I thought I was messy" she said "But you, why you just..."
can't even put a hat and coat where it belongs!
The dame had a point, all right. There were enough fedoras and trenchcoats to clothe the French Foreign Legion, but. . . .
what the heck did I care? Indulging myself in a daydream I pictured the dame in a French Foreign Legion outpost surrounded by wisecracking, fedora wearing legionnaires and in the daydream she said....