it's an excuse to NOT go shopping!
Why is the sun hot?
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it's an excuse to NOT go shopping!
Why is the sun hot?
It's to stop space from smelling like almonds.
Are red squirrels better singers than grey squirrels?
Of course... Red is a brighter colour, so they are brighter singers.
Are women weaker than men?
Only when it's convenient.
Why were dinosaurs so huge?
They weren't, everything else was so small.
Why is it people are scared of their emotions?
This is actually a myth. Emotion is actually a shortened and slightly varied version of the latin phrase enormicus titanicus which roughly translated is 'big scary monster'. The name pretty much stuck.
How do we know the correct name for a tree is 'tree'?
Because the man who first named the tree was Italian and when the asked him how many big fuzzy things on a stick, were there... He said... "Won, too, tiree... So they named it after the last word. Tree.
Why do men grow beards?
Beards were, upon a time, used as traps to snare prey. The male would grow his beard to great volume and length, before dying it with natural products. He would then lie perfectly still on the ground with his mouth slightly open, wiggling his tongue. Small animals would mistake the mouth as refuge, and the tongue as potentially cornered prey and scurry inside.
This habit continued with modern man evolving this technique to entice hapless females. Success rates are low.
Is laughter really the best medicine?
I don't know, let me read the label on the bottle and get back to you.
Why are numbers necessary?
Without them we will be outnumbered!
Why don't we have eyes on the back of our head?
Then we would all have to shave our heads to see and the old bald fuddy duddies, will get jealous.
Why do we need noses?
Because our pores aren't big enough to breathe through.
Can you handle Truth?
No, usually you listen to it, not pick it up and exchange it, from hand to hand.
Is the world round?
I can't see from where I'm standing.
Why do we fall down?
because if not, we would be fall upward.
why do computer keyboards are not in alphabetical order?
'twas designed by a dyslexic.
Why are some so unpredictable?
Someone took the keys off and rearranged them.
Why did the dog say, 'orange! Orange!'?
Because it can't say, 'blue, blue'.
Why do we bake a cake?
Because it can't bake itself, silly!
Why should you let a sleeping dog lie?
Because it's cruel to make them sleep whilst standing up.
Why do we have to be taught how to read and write?
Because the computers can't do it alone.
Why do moles live underground?
They hate us.
Where are the rules stored for particles, planets and stars to follow?
Because if they were in the front they would get lost.
Why is a tomato a fruit?
Because it is not a flower.
Why are frogs amphibian?
Becuase the sky is blue.
Why do zips get stuck?
Because they are sticky zips.
Why are humans so stupid?
Science came up with an extremely delightful idea of blaming everything on our parents. It's genetic.
If men are from Mars and women from Venus, who's from Jupiter?
Tranny's
Why is the sky blue?
We stole it from Pandora.
Why do male lions have a mane?
Because they forget to shave.
Why is it that attracts women to men?
Because opposite poles attract each other.
Why rabbits have long ears?
To tie together in front of their eyes.
Why does the solar system revolve around the Earth?
What else would it revolve around, the Sun, that would be Solar Chaos.
Is Foster's really Australian for beer?
Hardly. Beer is Australian for beer. Or VB around here, but it depends on the environment.
Restauraunt: Cascade
BBQ: VB
Why did you give the gorilla the beer?
Becaue if it is good for man, then it is good for his cousin.
Why is grass green?
'Cause it believes in global warming and green emission.
Why are stars and moon so overused in poetry?
Because poeple believe they are real.
Why do we write poetry?
To tell others how socially inept we are. :lol:
Why are people so biased against all things ugly?
Maybe it reminds them of themselves.
Why do we drink alcohol?
because we're too articulate if we don't.
Why don't girls hold doors open for other girls?