I'm composing one, Muse. Hang in there!
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I'm composing one, Muse. Hang in there!
The squirrels run down the tree, eager for the feast of peanuts I brought them
I often sit here at the park in town, just enjoying the peace and quiet. The squirrels know me well by now. A cheeky little female sniffs at my shoe. A very fat little gray fuzzball sits on the table opposite mine, munching away at a peanut, and mooching me for another. It is a wonderful day!
Gray flashes circle the trees, playing hide and go seek peering at me
I feel something touch my leg. It is an over-eager male grey squirrel that looks up at my startled face. I toss a peanut and he catches it midair. By now I have about seven furry little customers. I wonder if they would be bold enough to take one from my fingers.
Grey sentinels watch
For the thieving crows that snatch
Four nuts at a time
Really terrific to see how much they trust me. I am gonna need a bigger bag of nuts next time. Perhaps pistachios?
I know many of us have probably been busy lately, but no other takers willing to give this a shot?
I will do my best to have a poem completed in the coming days.
Here is my try (after a long gap) at using rhyme
Essentially follows the pattern of "3 rhymes with 1 and 2 with 4" in 1 2 3 4 with variations to break the monotony either of the form " 3 rhymes with 2 and 1 with 4" or rarely of the form "1 with 2 and 3 with 4"
Loving an Amazon
There she was,
The rough tomboy
Could ride the horse
And float with the buoys
This was her fourth
Of many such
Delicate ways as befits a court
And Amazonian (yet maternal and feminine) ways like a butch
A cloth around her neck tied
Like an adventuring fisherwoman dressed
Dagger against her dress pressed
Her opponents like brides cried
Could gut the whale
And cut the wolf rabid
Take care of her followers avid
Yet tame and shear the recalcitrant male
She takes her fifth shot
I am struggling with my second
Her scars the “medals” from battles fought
Mine arise from feelings for her heightened
She treats me by turns
As a fool, a stool pigeon, a clown
And at times an idiot to be controlled by treatment stern
Or more often ridiculed and humiliated for the edification of the town
She hoists me up to be exhibited like in statues
In tarred finery, hugging mannequins
Prompting me to ask : Is My love for her fatuous ?
Am I doomed to be hoisted on pedestals only to be let down by my self indulgent sins
One day, like a painted and (pinned and pained) bird,
I rise on the wings of my feeling seared
I cry out both for myself and the amazon I have loved
Who across the oceans of the world has rowed
Like a swarthy female version of Othello
Myself the male Desdemona to whom she at last consents
To relate the tales of the seas , black to yellow
Through which she has sailed up to times present
The characters whom she has met , rascals and saints
And of every hue in between
Her tales were enough to give a delicate lad like me the faints
Telling of a world beyond what he had ever seen
She wonders and marvels at my innocence
Like a diver , she means to torment and bully me out of my shell
And extract the pearls of good sense
That lies buried in my dell
At last we give way to the feelings of mutual affection and love
A mating like that between land and sea
Between the fiery eagle and a gentle dove
Each loving the other, both know “Who is me ?”
The Amazon warrior in star like hues her lover dyed
Who in pain filled ecstasy cried
Zen like In the morning after,
Things are the same fore and after,
The sun still shines, the birds still sing
But the lovers view it as the beginning of eternal spring
I somehow feel that 1 rhymes with 2 and 3 with 4 and so on seems to catch the ear the most unless more advanced devices are employed ( as in multiple voices in music , drama , opera etc) to reinforce the rhythm
And this fits the stated form by DarkMuse exactly how?Quote:
Originally Posted by sundarramchand
Quick question:
May I use my haiku from the minimalist poetry contest since, for me, the prose is the meat of the poem?
I will allow you to use that Haiku since you will still have to write and original prose.Quote:
Originally Posted by krymsonkyng
Okay, the format suggested by Dark Muse seems to be as follows :
a, b and d rhyme with c's theme (in the sense of rhyme) being continued in e f and h in the following 4 line stanza pattern.
"a b c d e f g h"
This seems to bring about some continuity
OK, in my case, i had already written the poem and for me (coming from rhyme less poetry), the images / themes are key and i tried to fit it in the current framework
Would my form come close to a sonnet or some other known theme ? I tried to base it on what i felt was the key motif of a sonnet " a-c , b-d " kind of pattern
Where did you get that from?Quote:
Originally Posted by sundarramchand
The form I propsed was as follows:
Nothing about rhyme or stanzas or sonnets in there.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark Muse
On a tour through the Cave of the Winds, a couple cozies up to railing.
The melted wax of stalactites takes on the lighting's colors, red and gold and blue. Not much further in, a tunnel narrows and trails back into the Earth's depths.
"Now," says the tour guide "I'm going to turn off the lights. No light from the surface can reach down here, so we will experience absolute darkness. It can be a little disorienting. For your safety please stand still until the lights come on."
For a minute they are transported to a world of sounds. The dry air carries the tap tap dripping of eternities worth of stone under construction. In this false night, the couple kisses until their return.
Up close and open
jagged colored edges that surround
smiling black
Today was the original intended deadline but since there are really own two entries, and I know another expressed an interest in wanting to submit something I will extend the deadline. For now I will not propose an official end time so feel free to keep posting.
For Emily (Happy Birthday)
When I think of flowers in a garden
my thoughts stray to dear Emily
and her bitter-sweet tears
As death mulled her years time was
measured with sweet mordents
of poetry with a hint of Spring
brightened with bird song...
Some sorrowful; all eternal
Chestnut lock of hair.... A hint of nosegay still sweetAfter all these years
:tailor STATELY
Because of health concerns, I will not be able to complete an entry for this competition.