Cut it in half, so you have water and melon. Take the water and wash off the pips, then eat the melon
what's the easiest way to open a coconut
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Cut it in half, so you have water and melon. Take the water and wash off the pips, then eat the melon
what's the easiest way to open a coconut
(You're cracking me up here.)
Knock it on your head.
What time is it, when your clock stops?
Don't know. Wear a watch next time.
After I finish eating the bag of nuts, what do I do with the bolts?
You put them in Frankenstein's neck.
Is Frankenstein real?
Yes he's real. He's your family physician.
do I have two heads?
You must have, where else would you keep all the brains you have?
How many brains do you have?
I'll check...what do they look like?
what happens when a disco ball stops spinning?
The world comes to an end.
Where is America?
North-west from here. About a six-month swim.
How can I use an electric kettle if I don't have a stove-top?
A roo knows ...somewhere.
Why are spheres spherical?
Oh, I know this one... Nope there's nothing that rolls to mind!
Is the moon as big in your country as it is in ours?
Can't say, but both look like pancakes.
Why do aliens love America?
Because all American's taste like McDonalds.
Do Aussies hop like Kangaroos?
No, because that'd be racist.
Why is there something instead of nothing?
It's like the chicken and the egg... Which one came first, something or nothing?
Are you a king?
I was, and then it rained.
If sex was painful, would there be so many?
I don't understand your question... So I will have to say... Gooo gaaa gaaa!
Are you a computer?
No, I'm intelligent.
What if pigs could fly?
then you wouldn't have bacon for breakfast
can I sew with a pine needle?
No, it's a carnal sin. Tom Cruise said so.
How do ghosts walk if their legs are buried?
they leave their legs in the ground and float in an orb
If the aliens ask me to take them to the leader, who do I take them to?
Buzz Lightyear.
Is a pineapple more intelligent than a coconut?
Yes, because they are prettier.
When is a tree, not a tree?
When it grows wings and flies away.
Did you steal the cookie from the cookie jar?
Not me. I stole the jar, but left the cookie.
Why don't cats like getting wet?
They saw The Wizard of Oz...
Where does the Red brick road lead to that starts in Munchkin land?
the red brick road leads to Dunkin' Donuts that sells all those yummy munchkins that you find in Munchkin land
will a car roll on 4 donuts?
Not if they are stick donuts...
Can fat people skinny dip?
nope, only skinny people can skinny dip
are there dead things on a dead end street?
No...it's the END of the dead...they all turn alive there...
If the average foot is less than 12 inches, then why do they call it a foot?
because Big Foot says so
Ever heard of a metric system?
Yes, that's when the measure how big an item is before you purhcase it... The bigger the item the more you have to pay.
Have you heard of the Muffin Man?
Yes...and I head that you can't keep your hands off of his muffins...
Does every cloud have a silver lining?
Yes, how do you think they make silver jewellery.
Is there really such a thing as the boogie man?
Yes...when I make little green men out of my boogies...
Do you think that I'm gross?
eeewiiee, um I'll have to say yes to that last question, sorry Bien.
Are you happy with litnet?
I'll have to calculate that.
Why was Freud so obsessed with his mother?
Because she was the only one he had
Why, are you obsessed with his mother as well?
Jung would despise me for that.
Why is Woods such a tiger?
(:lol::lol:You crack me up) Because he deals with jungle animals.:lol:
Why do they call the press - the press?