It is a conspiracy first put to practice by the guys who wanted people to buy TiVo.
Why do cyclists have to look so funny?
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It is a conspiracy first put to practice by the guys who wanted people to buy TiVo.
Why do cyclists have to look so funny?
Because there is no way to look cool on a unicycle.
Whats under my bed?
Just a depressed, former TV-Star alligator.
Which is the most ancient proverb?
the one with gray hairs...
why does grass grow so fast in the spring and summer?
The grass has to grow fast because during the summer and spring, invisible dragons munch away all night long, and so there must be continual growth, and speedy, to keep these fearsome beasts happy.
Why do I think I have things figured out, only to find that I am not even close to what is and what isn't?
because you are not an alien/ zealot/brainwashed numptie
Why does winter seem so long and then .... suddenly it's gone?
Because Spring gets fed up with all the waiting to be her turn and anihilates Winter in cold blood. So much for "season of life".
If a talking lava lamp insulted you, how would you react?
With astonishment and a prompt pulling of the plug.
Why are candy canes striped?
Because they are Waldo's canes.
Why doesn't a peanut taste like peas and nuts?
cause then they wouldn't taste good
why do people laugh when they hear something funny?
Because they have been brainwashed to do so ever since birth.
Who was the first person to look at two trees and think, 'this is a great place to have a swing'?
It wasn't actually a person, but rather, it was The Little Engine That Could. He thought that he could make a swing, and thus, a swing was invented.
Why is door hinge the only thing that rhymes with orange?
'Binge' would have attended the "We Rhyme With 'Orange'!" party, had it not been for the hangover from the alcohol drinking the night before. (check word 'binge' to understand this answer better :p)
When is the second coming of Christ anyway?
soon and very soon.....is that how the song goes????
Song? Oh ... I was always taught that those words were inscribed on the inner panel of Pandora's box, and to prove it, one must open the box...
Why does a tire store smell so pungent that one can get choked by it?