I said 'hello' to the jellyfish in the sky
It hasn't said 'hello' back.
I'm sure it's busy.
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I said 'hello' to the jellyfish in the sky
It hasn't said 'hello' back.
I'm sure it's busy.
We wondered why
the Milky Way
stayed in one place
When we were gods
we looked back and
saw the condom.
Lensed
A droplet caught
at the workings of life,
carefully inconclusive,
shifting a little, pulled back.
A consonant imploding
in a shape, shifty-eyed,
grimaced by pain
and already muzzled.
In the aftermath,
a lie broke
and unleashed the void.
it was more a lamp than a fish,
she said,
and i felt on display while it glowed
and lit up everything,
i felt naked.
AURELIA AURITA
Medusa’s star-born amulet
a lover’s eyes locked in regret
so easily you draw us in
make all immobile in your spin
Musings on the physical appearance of a Jellyfish
Moon Jellyfish
Looks a bit like a petri dish.
But with fronds and other appendages.
Oh Haunted, I love your entry !
Mine: Formatting will be added later (time permitting). I want the words to form a closed circle (Haunted's influence)... perhaps an animated .gif rolling like a wheel in place. If I cannot craft the poem as such please imagine how it might have been.
αωε
The universe istruly wonderous.
Just imaginewhat we miss.
© tailor STATELY9/11/2010
The jellyfish overlord
ascending
from cosmic dystopia
Thank you all for the great entries, sorry for the short delay, but the deadline is now up, and I will have the results in ASAP.
Once again you have given me an almost impossible task in judging this contest. Everyone did a wonderful job and I loved reading how everyone perceived the picture as I have a fascination with jellyfish.
There were several I wished I could name the winner, and it was so hard to choose, but in the words of The Highlander "There can be only one"
krymsonkyng: The opening lines are just superb. I loved your use of language within this poem, and the unique view you took upon the subject. This is a short poem that does carry a great impact to it. The very last line gave me a bit of a chuckle. Well done.
angliholic: Your poem was absolutely beautiful. I loved the imagery you conveyed and the wonderful, whimsical ethereal feeling. There was a mysticism to your poem which I quite enjoyed.
Pendragon: As always you do have a wonderful way with words. I loved the your use of the word blueberry to describe the jellyfish, and I loved the depth within your words, the ending of the poem with the question Is it "terrestrial or celestial" was fantastic I thought.
miyako73: I love the almost femme fatale element you bring into the poem, you make the jellyfish sound like it could be a metaphor for a mysterious "black widow" of a woman who has enchanted you. The ending I thought was beautiful. Only one minor suggestion, I think the poem would have flowed a little better if you left out the and in "Of your poison and tentacles," and simply let it say Of your poison tentacles.
Haunted: Beautiful poem with some wonderful descriptions used. I loved "zapping blue lights" and "electromagnetic shell." I really like the cosmic feeling of the poem and think it expresses some very profound thoughts. Also much appreciated the way in which the shape of it almost resembled a jellyfish.
DanielBenoit: As always you can be relayed upon to bring something completely different to the table, and yet strangely in your rather simple and humorous words, there can be found a depth of thought. An idea of the vastness of the ocean, and the loneliness of the universe.
autolycus: I have to admit your poem took a couple of reads to grasp it, and even then I am not entirely certain that I do understand it, but I think I have an idea of its meaning. There are some beautiful expressions in this poem, especially in the first stanza, and I must admit the ending does come as quite an unexpected surprise.
Bar22do: I love your take upon the image. A truly original approach and a poem that really does make one think. I particularly enjoyed the lines "carefully inconclusive" and "consonant imploding" I will admit that the meaning leaves me a bit baffled, but it was a pleasure to read.
Hawkman: Wow! You do know how to use minimalism to its utmost effect. This was truly brilliant and each line falls like a blow. A very powerful work. It stats out with a bang and it ends in fireworks. Beautiful and yet filled with a sense of sadness.
breathtest: I loved the tone of your poem, there is an ironic humor in your words, and it produces a nice atmosphere. The opening lines peak the interest right away, there is something almost playful in it. This poem feels like a snapshot, in which one imagines there must be many layers in the relationship between these two people.
RaoulDuke: I loved "Moon Jellyfish" that I thought was a great line. Your poem is a rather light-hearted and playful approach to the topic. I enjoyed your humorous and rather unique musings upon the strange appearance of a jellyfish.
tailor STATELY: A whimsical poem which captures the idea that there is yet still so much out there which we do not understand, which we have not even discovered, and how truly wondrous our universe really is. And the idea that the ocean is like a universe of its own.
toni: I always enjoy poems that make me laugh. This poem puts me in the mind of a jellyfish Darth Vador and I found the idea quite amusing. I thought the last lines "cosmic dystopia" were great.
and the winner is........
~~~~~~DRUMEROLL~~~~~
Hillwalker
What can I say? But brilliant work! Your use of Medusa caught my eye right away being I have a falsification with her, and your poem had such a wealth of deep emotion within it, and so much power. It was made up of elegantly beautiful lines and was masterfully crafted.
Congratulations Hillwalker !
"of your poison tentacles"? Nope. I very much respect the English language. Besides, using "and" gave a sense that I was talking about two things: death and ripples, their traces.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hillwalker
AURELIA AURITA!
What a romantic and poetic name!
And congratulations, Hillwalker,
Your poem is really short yet most expressive!
congrats Hill, beautiful and complex.
Yours is a wonderful poem hill, I loved it since I first read it! congratulations!
Thank you everyone - caught me unawares slightly as I had not realised the judging was over. Give me a while to collect my thoughts and I shall return.
Ok, thanks DarkMuse - you certainly earned your crust this month (so many entries and of such high standard). I feel humbled that you saw something in mine you enjoyed.... and thanks everyone else for making such a contest of it
My challenge for you this month after much thought (ten minutes actually) is to write a geo-poem about one place:
a geo-poem is a poem inspired by a certain location that holds particular significance to the writer.
Being such a globally varied community I am expecting my senses to be overloaded long before the end.
Deadline - 14th October. Good luck.
H
In the city of humans there is surplus
unemployment.
Teeming bodies touring narrow sidewalks, roads congested
with Toyotas and Hondas.
Welcome to the New Flower of old Abyssinia
forgotten by the west, invested in by the east, and growing.
"Hey mama" a 10 year old flirts, taking Jenn's hand,
"Watchoo doin' later?" His counterpart quietly picks her
pockets from behind. Dancing in the bars, Foreigners soaked
in Tej, St. Georges, eating Anjerra with forks instead of their hands.
There are seven eggs on the steeple. A man legs through crowds
that never cease to exist, just thin, as late becomes early becomes late.
everything is burnt metal
concrete dust builds buildings
roads, sweepings, all infra
structured ulterior disease
sing a bloody pore, so called
but the trees, ah the trees
save everything like packed
green bandages over seas
Blood and Sand
Ancient stone
beneath my fingertips
ghosts of the past
alive within
my collective memory.
So much agony
and glory won
in battles fought
upon this sand.
Aurora Borealis
Ribbons of light dance
above darkened waters
the crisp fall sky is
sprinkled with stars
This must be a dream...
I like to come here when I'm lonely
The spirit of the forests sooths my soul
It's a quite little spot in the sunshine
A nice place to fall apart
You can have this world and all that is in it
Sunshine and shadow, happiness and pain
Give that circle of stones in these mountains
A nice place to fall apart
Pendragon
is loneliness a location,
or is that just my mind?
sometimes i don't even
know if thoughts are real.
“Land of God”
City of Red and saffron and caraway seeds
Jasmine towers and cinnamon minarets
Oranges blossom before crimson earth walls
A God of legends holds up the sky
For barrows pulled by mules and men with
withered faces above white djellabahs
Cobras hiss fairy-tales and offer mint-tea and Gazelle Horns
A dark-haired, tanned and wiry young guy winks
His white-teethed smile means ‘Come with me and live!’
Google Earth
between the Atlantic
and the Pacific
+
between Blue Ridge Mountains
and the Rockies
+
between thick groves
and desert dunes
+
between Interstate 540
and County 83
+
between a curvy driveway
and an odd shaped pond
+
between open french doors
and a puckered headboard
+
between your arms
and your voice
+
between a gasp
and a long sigh
+
there lies the heartland
where I long to be
I like this poem very much, Haunted. It really built up to those final two lines nicely. The way you kept it to two lines each and put the plus signs between is quite clever.
aw thank you Janine :)
Thanks everyone for your entries - a wealth of imagery to work my way through.
The deadline has passed so no more entries - and I shall have my decision asap.
H
Wow, what a job. I would be in danger of repeating myself if I commented in too much detail on the merits of each of the 8 entries since they all met the challenge so well. Each succeeded in evoking a certain place extremely effectively.
Some were intensely colourful and sensual – reading them was like embarking on a journey to a different world.
Others were more internalised – focusing on the emotional impact of a place rather than on its fundamental qualities.
But having re-read these several times, I have finally picked the best of what was a fine bunch :
AdoreroDio – much as I loved this little gem I think it was intended as a belated entry for the previous month’s comp, so better luck next month.
krymsonkyng – the West meets the Third World head-on. I love the image of ‘foreigners soaked in Tej’ and that enigmatic closing expression. This blend of imagery and reflection worked really well and as soon as I read it I felt this certainly had the makings of a worthy winner…..
autolycus – impressions of a war-ravaged landscape – I appreciated the use of subtle brush-strokes requiring the reader to take a step or two back from the canvas to discover the entire picture
DarkMuse – I would guess a bull-ring from the title, but it could be any ancient patch of desert – simple but effective
Pendragon – your trademark human touch – a secret place of simple beauty perfectly drawn
breathtest – a truly minimal poem – the internal landscape of the existentialist thinker perhaps
DieterM – very rich, exotic imagery – exactly what I had hoped to find when setting this particular topic. This was another very strong contender for the prize,
BUT the winner has to be
Haunted – not only because of the clever conceit of zooming in on that special place using Google Earth’s amazing technology, but also for the skill in which you sweep the reader with you into that intimate, microcosmic landscape of human emotion. Every couplet is a gem of understatement; in a word, this was ‘masterful’.
Congratulations Haunted – and thanks everyone else for making it such a pleasure to read your words.
H
Congratulations Haunted :iagree:
Haha, actually it was meant for this one but that's okay I can see how the mistake could be made. I wrote about the place where I live where at certain times you can see the aurora borealis along the shore of Lake Superior :}
Congrats Haunted! :] a well deserved win.
In that case, apologies Ado - your lovely piece seemed to fit so well with Dark Muse's picture. Excse me now while I go and kick myself.....
H
Haha mine was acutally about the Roman Coliseum
Way to go Haunted... Mwah.
xo
Oops, I missed this one. Too busy I'm afraid. Congrats Haunted. :)
Haunted, I told you I was impressed with this poem. You did a spendid job and well deserve the honors!
congrats, haunted. when I read your piece, I immediately knew I didn't run a chance of winning because yours was the best (I thouroughly enjoyed all the others, mind you, mine included ;)) but, hey, I recognize a master-piece when I see one). should I be jealous? I should. Am I? Nope, never, don't even know what jealousy means... lol
Hill, thanks so much!!!! I didn't think I stood a chance! Thanks to everyone for your kind words. Dieter, you kidding right? My jaw dropped when I read yours!
I was thinking of a theme for the next round and I kept coming back to this one: anniversary.
I don't want to extend it to more than 4 weeks so let's have all the entries in by Friday November 12 at 11:59pm. Happy anniversary! ;)
Cuts in the doorframe,
candles in cake,
they say the flame that burns brightest is soon snuffed
but the mounting light of each year
best marks the growth of our romance
and amazes more than fireworks.