Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

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Originally Posted by Carrolb2

I have a hand bag. It's filled with chalk (for climbing) and super glue (for first aid)

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Your name seems to indicate a woman, although I know that Carrol can sometimes be used by men but I am intrigued to know why chalk is used in climbing; I'm not sure about the superglue either.

*wears dark cloak, peeks in the room, and glides quietly towards a table in the corner*
*orders a beer from the waiter, careful not to let him see her face*
*sips the beer, and giggles to herself as she listens in to the conversations*

I think that superglue can mend any cuts...seals them right up...

I don't know if it works on a compound leg fracture though...

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Originally Posted by LostPrincess13

*wears dark cloak, peeks in the room, and glides quietly towards a table in the corner*
*orders a beer from the waiter, careful not to let him see her face*
*sips the beer, and giggles to herself as she listens in to the conversations*

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Did anybody check to see if this girl is old enough to be drinking a beer?:D

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Originally Posted by BienvenuJDC

Did anybody check to see if this girl is old enough to be drinking a beer?:D

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Hey!:p I'm seventeen!:p That's old enough...:blush:

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Originally Posted by LostPrincess13

Hey!:p I'm seventeen!:p That's old enough...:blush:

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I'm not gong to say a thing then...I've never even had one myself!

Then pull up a chair then and take a swig matey!:lol:

We must protect this masculine preserve from these pesky women....especially the young and pretty ones who will put our resolve to the test.

Can I stay if I say my purpose is merely academic?;) I'm doing research on the male species.:D

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Originally Posted by LostPrincess13

Can I stay if I say my purpose is merely academic?;) I'm doing research on the male species.:D

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All women do that and start long before they are 17.

Maybe she can stay if she cleans the bathrooms...and sweeps the floors...

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Originally Posted by BienvenuJDC

Maybe she can stay if she cleans the bathrooms...and sweeps the floors...

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But don't you think it's unwise to let a 17-year-old hang around with a bunch of older guys? She might hear a few things that will offend her delicate ears.

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Originally Posted by Brian Bean

But don't you think it's unwise to let a 17-year-old hang around with a bunch of older guys? She might hear a few things that will offend her delicate ears.

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She might even say something that could offend my delicate ears...:blush:
...kids these days...:lol:

"Pint o Newkie and a bag of pork scratchin's, please darlin'." (I assume barmaids are exception to no women rule.)

Walks over to juke box, chooses Paranoid, by Black Sabbath.

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Originally Posted by Silas Thorne

I don't think this is happening though. :) They're always in the background, watching our movements.... We can only pretend they're not here. Look! I saw one hiding in the bushes over by the fence, trying to sneak over near the barbie. :D Ninjas! (looking around) They're everywhere! Quickly get out your hammers, I'm sure someone's going to jump over the fence wielding stillettos!

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Actually, the chicks hunkering down on the sidelines doesn't matter in here - somehow, we've created the perfect blokes' room.

See those old oak panels beside the library? Women used to hide behind those and listen through the cracks in the late 1800s.

Little good it did them - whatever they heard, saw or smelt, there was nothing they could do, because what happens in the Blokes' Club, stays in the Blokes' Club and if some demure wee thing was silly enough to admit she'd been caught eavesdropping on gentlemen*, it would have been akin to Queen Victoria admitting to having taken seven of her footmen as lovers at the same time.

These days, the social penury may not be to those lengths, but any Real Woman [TM] would certainly think little of her sister who stooped to such depths.

The cigar smoke always gets them in the end.

;)

*I am referring to gentlemen members of that past - while I am in no position to comment on whether any other participants fit the description, I most certainly, do not.

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Originally Posted by Silas Thorne

Yes, I hate these idiots!
And there are, unfortunately, a few women (the dangerous minority) who try to get men to dance with them at nightclubs, or actively seek attention, precisely because they have boyfriends like this, and want to make them jealous.

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Yep, some women, are turned on by violence and possessiveness, but luckily, very few.

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Originally Posted by Janine

Yes, indeed; better get out those hammers! :lol:

All us females have been reading your posts.

This thread is most enlightening.

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See above.

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Originally Posted by Silas Thorne

I looked at the women's thread and they were talking about handbags.

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:)

Proof!

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Originally Posted by Silas Thorne

It didn't seem that interesting to me. Why are we men so interesting to women? ;)

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Not that hard to tell in the end, is it?

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Originally Posted by Brian Bean

We must protect this masculine preserve from these pesky women....especially the young and pretty ones who will put our resolve to the test.

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Perish the thought.

Just treat them exactly as one would the soft sounds of the string quartet in the far corner by the fire.

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Originally Posted by BienvenuJDC

Maybe she can stay if she cleans the bathrooms...and sweeps the floors...

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There isn't an emoticon here to describe how I exploded with laughter at that!

Classic.

And spit-polish my shoes!

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

(I assume barmaids are exception to no women rule.) .

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Well if there has to be an exception it's gotta be barmaids. They're among my favourite people.

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Originally Posted by Brian Bean

Your name seems to indicate a woman, although I know that Carrol can sometimes be used by men but I am intrigued to know why chalk is used in climbing; I'm not sure about the superglue either.

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Carroll = last name
chalk keeps your hands dry. trying to hold on for dear life is a little hard when your hands are sweaty. and super glue is the best first aid development since the band aid. its like stitches only faster, cheaper, stronger, and it leaves better (and more manly) battle scars.

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

"Pint o Newkie and a bag of pork scratchin's, please darlin'." (I assume barmaids are exception to no women rule.)

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You would, alas, assume wrong.

Parker, our commissionaire, is well-versed in the recruitment needs of this establishment and we are presently in no need of new staff members. Our last staff member hired was Johnson, the porter, and that was in 1968.

His son has been in training to take over from him later this year, in fact.

In future, please discuss all matters pertaining to the club and employment matters with Mr Parker. His details are here.

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Walks over to juke box, chooses Paranoid, by Black Sabbath.

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Juke box?

I have heard the term, I'm sure.

Isn't that Mozart's Prussian Quartet k575 I can hear?

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

Juke box?

I have heard the term, I'm sure.

Isn't that Mozart's Prussian Quartet k575 I can hear?

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I am desperate to get hold of a copy of Black Sabbath playing Mozart's Prussian Quartet k575 can anyone help?

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Originally Posted by Brian Bean

I am desperate to get hold of a copy of Black Sabbath playing Mozart's Prussian Quartet k575 can anyone help?

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:lol:

I can just see Ozzy Osbourne's hair getting tangled in his cello.

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

"Pint o Newkie and a bag of pork scratchin's, please darlin'." (I assume barmaids are exception to no women rule.)

Walks over to juke box, chooses Paranoid, by Black Sabbath.

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Ok, ok I get it.

"Whisky with a splash of water please Johnson."

walks over to humador, chooses cuban cigar. sits in leather wing-back by fire.

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Originally Posted by Carrolb2

Carroll = last name
chalk keeps your hands dry. trying to hold on for dear life is a little hard when your hands are sweaty. and super glue is the best first aid development since the band aid. its like stitches only faster, cheaper, stronger, and it leaves better (and more manly) battle scars.

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Thanks for the explanation. Do you go mountaineering to get away from the women or do any of them accompany you on your sweaty-palmed scaling of the heights?

What's grillin' tonight?

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Originally Posted by BienvenuJDC

What's grillin' tonight?

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Well it's already well into nightime now so I am finishing off with one packet of Prawn cocktail potato chips and one ridge cut cheddar and onion accompanied by two cans of Tennant's Super strong lager and one of Miller Light to soften the blow. You know, the male atmosphere in this club is so congenial I think I will move in permanently.

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Ok, ok I get it.

"Whisky with a splash of water please Johnson."

walks over to humador, chooses cuban cigar. sits in leather wing-back by fire.

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Thank you.

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Originally Posted by BienvenuJDC

What's grillin' tonight?

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Ah, you American chaps and your trans-Atlantic humour!

Parker was mentioning only last week, the time one of your cousins was in the club and asked for something grilled. Sir Nigel was desperate to whip him off to the side room for a proper grilling, but Parker explained that it was a form of cooking used in former colonies rather than a request for de-briefing.

Parker will be pleased to have one of the footmen service your epicurean requests.

Are any of you familiar with Cajun style food?

Aah, yes! A good friend of mine from Louisiana is Cajun, and he is one of the best cooks I know! Fresh everything, bought on the dock that same day.

Forget the prawns...give me a bucket of crayfish!!!

. . . sure! I'm certainly no expert on Cajun cooking. Unless we can count eating it. Names? Bah! not necessary.

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

Thank you.



Ah, you American chaps and your trans-Atlantic humour!

Parker was mentioning only last week, the time one of your cousins was in the club and asked for something grilled. Sir Nigel was desperate to whip him off to the side room for a proper grilling, but Parker explained that it was a form of cooking used in former colonies rather than a request for de-briefing.

Parker will be pleased to have one of the footmen service your epicurean requests.

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We must be careful not to alienate our American male members who might be more inclined to a 1920s speakeasy environment than an 1890s gentlemen's club in London. After all, there is a great difference between Blackjack and Poker and Bridge or Whist. Now don't get me wrong, I happen to think that the Gentlemen's club is comensurate with the invention of the wheel but, in the era of the internet, we must be prepared to broaden the scope of the Bloke's domain to include men from all parts of the globe.

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Originally Posted by Brian Bean

We must be careful not to alienate our American male members who might be more inclined to a 1920s speakeasy environment than an 1890s gentlemen's club in London. After all, there is a great difference between Blackjack and Poker and Bridge or Whist. Now don't get me wrong, I happen to think that the Gentlemen's club is comensurate with the invention of the wheel but, in the era of the internet, we must be prepared to broaden the scope of the Bloke's domain to include men from all parts of the globe.

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This blokes domain used to dingy bars in areas of glasgow you wouldnt let your dog go let alone a relative - I think we can safely exclude that domain

Atheist...if you are from NZ...wouldn't it be more proper to say trans-Pacific humor...and what kind of humor is that exactly?

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Originally Posted by BienvenuJDC

Are any of you familiar with Cajun style food?

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blech!

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Originally Posted by Brian Bean

We must be careful not to alienate our American male members who might be more inclined to a 1920s speakeasy environment than an 1890s gentlemen's club in London. After all, there is a great difference between Blackjack and Poker and Bridge or Whist. Now don't get me wrong, I happen to think that the Gentlemen's club is comensurate with the invention of the wheel but, in the era of the internet, we must be prepared to broaden the scope of the Bloke's domain to include men from all parts of the globe.

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:lol::lol:

<alienated American

My stepdad has only lived here in America for 4 years (London-area born and raised), and when he goes back for christmas he always brings me back Prawn Cocktail Chips (Crisps), they are frikkin amazing. (as disgusting as that sounds).

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Originally Posted by BienvenuJDC

Atheist...if you are from NZ...wouldn't it be more proper to say trans-Pacific humor...and what kind of humor is that exactly?

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nah its not trans pacific because the UK is still the centre of the universe, everything still has to pass through here first

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Originally Posted by kilted exile

This blokes domain used to dingy bars in areas of glasgow you wouldnt let your dog go let alone a relative - I think we can safely exclude that domain

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The tales of the terribleness of some Glasgow pubs is legendary and, as someone who has experienced them personally, you are in a position of being able to underline just how bad they are. But how do you feel about belonging to a male preserve that has leather armchairs and Mozart being played by a string quartet?

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Originally Posted by Brian Bean

how do you feel about belonging to a male preserve that has leather armchairs and Mozart being played by a string quartet?

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Probably distinctly underdressed:lol:

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Originally Posted by Brian Bean

Come to think of it you are absolutely right and recalls an incident that I had forgotten about.
An English friend of mine was working in Oslo and, like virtually all of the other foreign contract workers at the company that hired him, he had a girl friend, even though though practically all of them were married and living away from their respective countries. Every six weeks his wife would travel to Norway to stay for a week and the girlfriend, naturally, had to disappear from the scene during that time. On one occasion, the day before his wife was due, his girlfriend said that she couldn't find one of her earings and they searched the bed for a long time but were unable to find it. Needless to say, the day after her arrival, his wife found it while making the bed; he told me that she didn't speak to him for the whole time she was there.

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[/QUOTE]
Oh God. If that had been my wife that would have been the end of the marriage. I think he ought to consider himself lucky.

Reminds me of a story of a guy who was on continuous business travel for years. He would go back home every so often and every once in a while I would see him at the travel location. I would go every there for a week's time every other month or so, but he was there for like a month at a time. One day I cought up with him and he told me his marriage was on the ropes. I figured it was because he was away so often. It turns out the girl he was meeting up with on his travel got angry he broke up with her and mailed her bright red underwear to his wife with a note that said something like, "for old times sake." :lol: He had a lot of explaining to do.

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Originally Posted by BienvenuJDC

Now we're talkin'...
I guess handbags aren't that bad...it depends what's in it...

:cool:
What's in YOUR handbag?

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Lipstick and powder? :p

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Originally Posted by BienvenuJDC

Maybe she can stay if she cleans the bathrooms...and sweeps the floors...

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:lol::lol:

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Originally Posted by BienvenuJDC

What's grillin' tonight?

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Actually the wife is cooking. And complaining. I forgot to take the garbage out last night and she was pissed. She actually sent me an email to work. :D

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Originally Posted by kilted exile

This blokes domain used to dingy bars in areas of glasgow you wouldnt let your dog go let alone a relative - I think we can safely exclude that domain

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Would have been interesting. I can keep my nose clean but I would probably need a local to be with. ;)

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Originally Posted by Brian Bean

All women do that and start long before they are 17.

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LOL!:lol: Then again, I'm no ordinary 17 year old girl.;) Let's just say I was 'one of the guys' when I was younger.:D In fact, I still think I am!:lol:

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Originally Posted by BienvenuJDC

Maybe she can stay if she cleans the bathrooms...and sweeps the floors...

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:lol: Sorry, I don't do bathrooms.:lol: I could serve you guys beverages though.;) I make pretty good coffee.:D

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Originally Posted by Brian Bean

But don't you think it's unwise to let a 17-year-old hang around with a bunch of older guys? She might hear a few things that will offend her delicate ears.

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I'm a big girl now!:D And I'm sure whatever you guys say I've heard it before and will come as no surprise to me.:D

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Originally Posted by BienvenuJDC

She might even say something that could offend my delicate ears...:blush:
...kids these days...:lol:

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Oooh!:D What could I possibly say I wonder?;)

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Originally Posted by Brian Bean

We must be careful not to alienate our American male members who might be more inclined to a 1920s speakeasy environment than an 1890s gentlemen's club in London. After all, there is a great difference between Blackjack and Poker and Bridge or Whist. Now don't get me wrong, I happen to think that the Gentlemen's club is comensurate with the invention of the wheel but, in the era of the internet, we must be prepared to broaden the scope of the Bloke's domain to include men from all parts of the globe.

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Maybe we could have the West Louge done out in 1920s speakeasy. I'm a big fan of women's fashion from that time - a touch of class with a touch of hooker. Perfect!

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Originally Posted by kilted exile

This blokes domain used to dingy bars in areas of glasgow you wouldnt let your dog go let alone a relative - I think we can safely exclude that domain

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I'll bet you a Glasgy pub against Otara's Flying Jug any day.

:D

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Originally Posted by BienvenuJDC

Atheist...if you are from NZ...wouldn't it be more proper to say trans-Pacific humor...and what kind of humor is that exactly?

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No, definitely trans-Atlantic. The club is based in London as the centre of the "Old World". I know I'm mixing South Pacific, East London and Harrow idiom, but you'll catch up.

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Originally Posted by LostPrincess13

LOL!:lol: Then again, I'm no ordinary 17 year old girl.;)

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Clearly not!

Well hello Mr. Atheist!:D I hope you don't mind my lil intrusion in your thread.:D My curiosity got the best of me, and I just couldn't help myself.:D