Printable View
Beauty is multilayered and i think we should be able to appreciate it without lust but that doesn't make sex a bad thing or only for procreation. However I do agree that sex should be after 'marriage' as it is more meaningful if you acctually know and love the person. By the way, I feel the need to stick up for those of us who don't always wear jeans and don't mind wearing a vaguely short skirt in Summer, not for guys, but cus they're fun and it's hot.
Here here..:D
for the skirt I mean
Cassandra,
<However I do agree that sex should be after 'marriage' as it is more meaningful if you acctually know and love the person.>
I'm sure you are not trying to denigrate us people who are not married, but have lived with our partners for some time. So you might like to reconsider that view, as it does tend to read like you are saying that you can only love and know a person when you are married to them. Anyway, I would have thought that you might believe that you should only marry someone you know and love, so your posting doesn't seem to make much sense to me.
Hope I haven't offended you with this critical observation, as with some people round here, it would appear that I offend them with almost every post I make.:)
Thats why I put marriage in ' '. i don't mean just marriage in the legal sense or the having a wedding sense, I mean it as in the binding of souls sense i.e. a very well loved long term partner. Anyway, although I personally don't agree with sex before 'marriage' (note the ' ' ) it's up to people to chose their own couse and I won't condemn them for their choices, I just don't agree.Quote:
Originally posted by atiguhya padma
Cassandra,
<However I do agree that sex should be after 'marriage' as it is more meaningful if you acctually know and love the person.>
I'm sure you are not trying to denigrate us people who are not married, but have lived with our partners for some time. So you might like to reconsider that view, as it does tend to read like you are saying that you can only love and know a person when you are married to them. Anyway, I would have thought that you might believe that you should only marry someone you know and love, so your posting doesn't seem to make much sense to me.
Hope I haven't offended you with this critical observation, as with some people round here, it would appear that I offend them with almost every post I make.:)
Cassandra,
How is it more meaningful? and why should it be more meaningful?
I think that sex with an experienced lover is far more meaningful than sex with a virgin.
But of course it all depends on what you mean by meaningful. It does sound a little like a well-worn hackneyed phrase to me.
(IWilKiku - is this a little too harsh d'ya think? am I overstepping the boundaries here a little? You see, you seem to be a bit of an expert on these things, so I thought I'd ask your advice! I mean I'm not belittling Cassandra here am I? Please let me know if I am. I do love to read your highly instructive posts)
I don't feel belittled, just be careful. Why is experianced sex more meaningful? I thought it would be most meaningful with someone you love reagardless of sexual experiance.
Cassandra,
What do you mean by meaningful?
Good question. Kind of a deep physical mental rightness? I can't really explain. i often know what I mean in feeleings(?) but find it hard to say in english, words can be very limiting.
Well quite frankly, if you get the best lay of your life, I rckon that probably fits the bill of <Kind of a deep physical mental rightness?>
But it's surely it's just sex then. Meaningful I guess means deep impact lasting relationship to me. Obviously it's different for you and I can repect that even if we can't agree or really understand each other. I can respect that your views just what is important for you and I is completely different.
Do you think you can have a deep impact lasting relationship (of the marriage kind) without sex?
Don't you think that there is never a situation where something is just sex? It appears to me that there is a huge gap between 'just sex' and a 'totally loving relationship', and that most of us lie somewhere in between.
I would go so far as to say that many people who think they have a 'totally loving relationship' would not know how to evaluate such a thing. It would just be some temporary feeling that happens with the frequency to suggest 'totally loving relationship'.
I think that you possibly could but it could be hard. There is a huge gap between just sex and totally loving relationship and a lot do lie in between but I would never allow myself do so. I believe sex is part of a totally loving relationship (assuming talking partners here not other relationships) and a totally loving relationship should be the foundation of sex. I agree that many people cannot allways evaluate relationships otherwise why divorce, but you never know that until afterwards, if you think you're in a loving realationship then for the duration isn't it like being in one.
I definitely couldn't. And I think that it would be pretty damn hard for any other person. But it would still be possible (albeit very unlikely).Quote:
Originally posted by atiguhya padma
Do you think you can have a deep impact lasting relationship (of the marriage kind) without sex?
I agree 100% (unless of course you're paying for sex).Quote:
Originally posted by atiguhya padma
Don't you think that there is never a situation where something is just sex? It appears to me that there is a huge gap between 'just sex' and a 'totally loving relationship', and that most of us lie somewhere in between.
Crisaor,
we agree on something. That's quite.... remarkable!:)
Take these all with a grain of salt because I can't remember the exact format or percentages of the study. I do recall that it was a very large sample--several thousand--and the studies were carried out by universities with no religious affiliations:
(1) Couples that co-habitated before marriage showed a fifty percent higher divorce rate than couples that did not.
(2) Couples that were virgins before marriage reported a 30% higher rate of satisfaction with their sex lives.
(3) Females that are in marriages where both partners were virgins before marriage report a 33% higher frequency of orgasm than so-called couples with previous "experience."
Again, I don't remember the exact percentages, but these are in the ballpark. And just for the record since this is a religious forum and the majority of the discussions seem to revolve around Christianity, lets not forget that Christ told the woman at the well that she had five husbands--you mate, then you're married, at least that what God says happens. Two become one.