Originally Posted by
BookBeauty
I'd like to apologize for my previous post, mostly because Scheherzade is absolutely right. If I don't have anything nice to say, I shouldn't say anything at all.
In any case, if your writing has a goal, and you feel that you are striving and reaching higher as a writer, WolfLarsen, then I have no right to admonish your efforts, simply because I don't understand them. It seems that your writing is as religion is to some people-- And perhaps more like poetry: Personal, and perhaps not meant to be understood. And not meant to be constructively critiqued by the uninitiated.
The words that I do understand are a bit crude and disrupt the entire scat-man rhythm it appears that you are attempting to achieve. The zippity doo-wongs do more than the 'fart', that is.
It kind of reminds me of the monkeys in the Jungle book, doing their random, crazy singing and making rhythmic noises. You know, that song with Baloo the bear and the Monkey King, and they sing, ''I wanna be like you!'' ?
Maybe there's some kind of jazzy melody in the background? :)
But again, in my opinion at least, stylistically the words chosen can be more 'cool cat', if you know what I'm saying.
Just my two cents. :)