I'm here to read this book with the Love of My Life

Holding at the top of 176. Where are you?

You said, ''I think if a deep and real love exists between a man and a woman, as you say, then it is not possible to be in love with anyone else. Doesn't anyone else out there have an opinion on any of this?'' I have an opinion on that! I agree! I think it is not possible to be IN LOVE with more than one person. It's possible to love others non-romantically, but not to be IN love with more than one person. That's how I am. One girl. What about you? Are you IN love with anyone?

Page 137... I think LOUISA was the ''next meal'' all along, not Anne. He couldn't have the love of his life so he was willing to settle. Please see our exchanges about his embarrassment/risk/reward. But even so, people want to be in love, no matter how it hurts. That's human nature. But people don't go to the ''next meal'' if its been the main course for so long just because the meal they want is not available. Manufactured feelings do not work, I've come to realize.

Based on the definition I posted of streightened (straitened) I think it means that Mrs. Smith's financial resources became constrained, restricted, narrowed to the point that it affected her options. In this case an inability to hire a lawyer.

You wrote, (Page 150...) "Her seeing the letter was a violation of the laws of honour, that no one ought to be judged or to be known by such testimonies, that no private correspondence could bear the eye of others, before she could recover calmness enough to return the letter which she had been meditating over, and say, "Thank you. This is full proof undoubtedly, proof of everything,..."

'' Even when it's accidental, reading something illuminating is proof of what a person's true feelings are.'' When what is written is intended to convey meaning that is not of the heart, manipulation so to speak, then it is not proof of the heart. But it is cunning and offensive standing alone. Your quote from 154 could not better underscore that. And I've been guilty of that.

Page 154... "There is always something offensive in the details of cunning. The manoeuvres of selfishness and duplicity must be revolting." So true!

I'm around 160, I think. Been busy today. Will try to finish tomorrow. Lots to digest for now...

I will wait to finish till tomorrow. Yes, there is a lot to digest, and hopefully it's not your ''next meal''. Leaving this place now.

No, currently, I don't have the feelings of being "in love" with anyone, and I disagree with you about the "next meal." I think some people will seek it wherever they can, especially when the one they want is not available.

I am on page 164 now.

On page 159, I read something I could relate to:
"She had been used before to feel that he could not be always quite sincere, but now she saw insincerity in everything." I know that feeling. It takes very little to lose trust in someone. As Darcy says, "My good opinion once lost is lost forever." Once that trust is tested, it makes you wonder how many other times you were just told whatever was needed to smooth things over and you wonder how much of it was the truth. That feeling of mistrust never goes away.

My niece said that she saw the complete works of Jane austen at a book store and wants to get it for me next month! I thought that was very thoughtful of her!

I have finished the book. THere are many parallels to relationships of true love. Tell me your thoughts onthe last sentence.

I find it interesting that the last chapter is basically an editorial. It's as if Jane Austen did not trust that the reader would get her book, so she spells it out for us. Actually, I am glad she does. It leaves no doubt about how things are wrapped up in all the character's lives.

The name hayter turned out to have no meaning in the area I thought it did. I did not see Charles Hayter as a hater.

The book is at my office, but there was a reference made to the value of the family at home that waits for a sailor gone off to war to return. It made me feel even more left out.

Page 165-- "Surely, if there be constant attachment on each side, our hearts must understand each other ere long. We are not boy and girl, to be captiously irritable, misled by every moment's inadvertence, and wantonly playing with our own happiness." No, no one wants discord in a relationship, and it is comforting to think that if it is meant to be, then things will be right one day and lovers will be together.

Wentworth's letter on pg. 176-- Exquisite show of emotion and feelings, sincere, honest, and passionate. How can it be descibed as anything less?! I was so proud of him! "I have loved none but you." "Never inconstant." Wonderful!

Page 180--He goes on to explain, however, "that he had been constant unconsciously, nay unintentionally; that he had meant to forget her, and believed it to be done. He had imagined himself indifferent, when he had only been angry; and he had been unjust to her merits, because he had been a sufferer from them. Her character was now fixed on his mind as perfection itself." Attempted attachment to Louisa was because of his "angry pride."
How well she puts real-life emotions into words!

Is pride a fault or a virtue?

"captiously"--marked by a disposition to find or point out trivial faults, intended to entrap or confuse, as in an argument

Pride being a fault or a virtue is one of question. Darcy answers rather abrasively when asked by Elizabeth.

I read all that you did and picked up on all the references you made! I remember thinking in response to the ''angry pride", "I knew it! Louisa WAS just the next meal!" I don't have my book with me so I can't remember all the the references but that is what I was referring to when I said Jane was editorializing in the last chapter. It was a wonderful last chapter and a suiting end to the book. The letter he wrote....wow! I wanted to see SOMETHING like that from him. Thanks for the definition. I hope mine are appreciated!

I do appreciate the definitions!

I would have hoped that, even though Anne turned him away 8 years ago, he would have had the confidence to see where her feelings lay before moving on to the "next meal." I would expect that in my life and circumstances. Never make assumptions on matters of the heart!!

Well, it looks like we are thru the first read. So many parallel's to life and relationships.

I'm ready to start again and go a little slower. I can take as much time as I need....

I loved this book...

I'll let you know when I am ready to start over! I loved this book, too. I learned alot about myself!

Exploring is good.... I found as I reread the first chapter (and yes, it is very early Sunday morning and I've been reading (4:30)) that there is an explanation of the relationship and history of William Elliot to the family and that Elizabeth is actually wearing black ribbons out of repect for his recently deceased wife. We learn even more details toward the end of the book from Mrs. Smith.

Elizabeth really is a wretched person toward Anne. Anne is described as nothing of consequence in the family, and when the debt is revealed to Elizabeth by her father she considers how to save money and comes up with two ideas (cutting off some charities and not refurnishing the drawing room) before "...afterwords adding the happy thought of taking no present down to Anne, as had been the usual yearly custom.
***
I have preteen kids. I thought about how helpful it would have been to have books in HS and JH that I was reading in English class that had notes in the margin. I might have gotten a whole lot more out of them. I don't think that they will read any Jane Austen stuff but I think I'd like to find out which books they will read each year and read them in advance (twice, of course!) and make notes in the margin that might help them connect things or think about things as they read. Thoughts anyone?

Oh, and almost 1900 looks at this thread!!

Not sure about that with the books. I think it sort of takes away from the challenge of making discoveries on their own. They would also end up presenting your ideas as their own in the classroom which is kind of not fair to the other students! It's not a bad idea, but I know I see things much differently than I did when reading things in jr high or high school.