Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

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Originally Posted by gbrekken

Loved the reverence to the origin of NASCAR, (not unlike "rum-runners"), but I'm not sure even the speaker knew what he was saying :). The race was a loser, due to track failure that had the cars sitting for hours. I could never go that fast-I backed off under 160, partially due to the fact that I had the kids and a nephew in the car.
Having your own language makes you unique, just like everyone else.
flattery O'connnor and Jimmy joy juice went into a bar, ordered a shot of the best local stuff, and asked the barkeep if they'd heard the new joke about Timbuktu. The bartender's neck veins flared wide and red, and then he said "look mister, I'm from Timbuktu; the four guys at the end of the bar, they're from Timbuktu; the two big guys shooting pool, they're from Timbuktu, and so are the foursome throwing darts". At which flattery replied"Okay, I'm sorry. I'll go real slow". And then the fight started. Later that night flattery got home, and while soaking, and licking his wounds, and chilling one eye with a cold steak, was watching television. The wife gets home and asks him what's on the telly. To which he replied "dust". And then the fight started. Add on at will.

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I've always thought you were unique:ladysman: Love the jokes:iagree:

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Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

OK Gbrekken, I'm game-
"add on at"... will...the wife insist that the rum runner, a pre cursor to NASCAR, allow his two week old Kolache and near empty bottle of Wild Turkey remain in its customary position on the bookshelf? She insists that the shelf needs dusting along with the old Zenith.

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/a...a/IMG_1406.jpg

Gilliatt

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That pastry is gorgeous, how about sending some of your wifes confections (before the two week stent on the shelf) to old Soundo:drool5:

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

Any time you're having a bad day, a quick glance in here soon removes the gloom!

Daughter has come home from school with norovirus today - speaking of infestations...

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Again, the disadvantages of unique and rare genes; I spent almost every school year catching everything. My aunt used to observe that the children who never combed their hair and walked through chicken droppings were always healthy; but a bath, shampoo and regular meals will put you in the hospital.:sick:

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Aye, but at least we're not like the All Blacks. They are the best. They know they are the best. The opposition Know they are the best. Everyone knows they are the best. So why don't they win when it matters?

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4 million Kiwis want the answer to that very question.

There are a couple of factors:

1 We keep picking idiots as coach - every RWC since 1987, we have had some inadequate dick in charge. In 2011, we have the same dick who lost the last one, so hopes are low.

2 We were robbed in 1995 and ought to have 2 cups

3 Public expectation to win every single game tends to make us use all of our cards leading into the tournament and when others pull out all the stops, we're often found wanting.

4 There will be riots in Queen St if we don't win next year and the coach will be lynched.

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

Again, the disadvantages of unique and rare genes; I spent almost every school year catching everything. My aunt used to observe that the children who never combed their hair and walked through chicken droppings were always healthy; but a bath, shampoo and regular meals will put you in the hospital.:sick:

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Ha!

Sounds just like my kids!

I took the boy to the Dr a couple of weeks back as he's had an ongoing sinus infection which just won't go away.

She started talking about nutrition and preservatives before I stopped her and pointed out that my kids eat correct, fresh food and on the rare occasion they have lollies/takeaways/soft drinks they think it's christmas.

Yet they get sick so often it drives me nuts. Unlike other kids, they even wash their hands before eating and after going to the toilet.

I actually think those other kids do get sick, and in many cases are just sick all the time, so it's their natural state and they don't have time off school/work with it.

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

4 million Kiwis want the answer to that very question.

There are a couple of factors:

1 We keep picking idiots as coach - every RWC since 1987, we have had some inadequate dick in charge. In 2011, we have the same dick who lost the last one, so hopes are low.

2 We were robbed in 1995 and ought to have 2 cups

3 Public expectation to win every single game tends to make us use all of our cards leading into the tournament and when others pull out all the stops, we're often found wanting.

4 There will be riots in Queen St if we don't win next year and the coach will be lynched.



Ha!

Sounds just like my kids!

I took the boy to the Dr a couple of weeks back as he's had an ongoing sinus infection which just won't go away.

She started talking about nutrition and preservatives before I stopped her and pointed out that my kids eat correct, fresh food and on the rare occasion they have lollies/takeaways/soft drinks they think it's christmas.

Yet they get sick so often it drives me nuts. Unlike other kids, they even wash their hands before eating and after going to the toilet.

I actually think those other kids do get sick, and in many cases are just sick all the time, so it's their natural state and they don't have time off school/work with it.

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My kids were the same. They even got a disease I'd never head of until half the Primary School went down with it - the slapcheek virus. I makes their cheeks go red and they feel as if they've got a cold - facecheeks that is...

Afew years ago I called at a farm. It was a bleak place, the house was dilapidated with cracked windows and ill-fitting doors. It was b...dy freezing. Two kids were playing in the yard, they were wearing shorts, holy jumpers and wellies three sizes too big, no coats, scarves or hats. I asked them if they were cold. "No" they said .(They were playing with water from a trough, for heavens sake) I asked their mother, who came to the door dressed for The Algarve, how they did it. "Porage" she replied. "we have a big bowlfull of porage every morning." She said her kids were never ill, and I could see they were bright and vigourous. I tried to force a porage regieme on my household after that, but the lure of Coco pops overcame me.

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

Ha!

Sounds just like my kids!

I took the boy to the Dr a couple of weeks back as he's had an ongoing sinus infection which just won't go away.

She started talking about nutrition and preservatives before I stopped her and pointed out that my kids eat correct, fresh food and on the rare occasion they have lollies/takeaways/soft drinks they think it's christmas.

Yet they get sick so often it drives me nuts. Unlike other kids, they even wash their hands before eating and after going to the toilet.

I actually think those other kids do get sick, and in many cases are just sick all the time, so it's their natural state and they don't have time off school/work with it.

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Have you ever wondered if some peoples bodies were just too dull to pick up on illness; no really. My mom was a great woman; but a little retarded. The woman was never ill, she worked until the minute her children were born, she never took medications and only died from my sisters cooking:frown2:

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

My kids were the same. They even got a disease I'd never head of until half the Primary School went down with it - the slapcheek virus. I makes their cheeks go red and they feel as if they've got a cold - facecheeks that is...

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All these weird diseases. I saw a fellow on television today who had a daughter with "the sleeping beauty disease"; they sleep for 13 or 14 days at a time. Something with the autoimmune system.

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Afew years ago I called at a farm. It was a bleak place, the house was dilapidated with cracked windows and ill-fitting doors. It was b...dy freezing. Two kids were playing in the yard, they were wearing shorts, holy jumpers and wellies three sizes too big, no coats, scarves or hats. I asked them if they were cold. "No" they said .(They were playing with water from a trough, for heavens sake) I asked their mother, who came to the door dressed for The Algarve, how they did it. "Porage" she replied. "we have a big bowlfull of porage every morning." She said her kids were never ill, and I could see they were bright and vigourous. I tried to force a porage regieme on my household after that, but the lure of Coco pops overcame me.

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:drool5: Coco puffs, nothing like them except Cookie Crisp. I've tried to incorporate a good diet since this flu hit me and lasted 5 weeks...This healthy food is about to kill my digestive system; I feel I may explood at any point:puke:

You see, this is why I like being an honorary bloke, Men are just so interesting...They talk about everything:patriot:

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

Have you ever wondered if some peoples bodies were just too dull to pick up on illness; no really. My mom was a great woman; but a little retarded. The woman was never ill, she worked until the minute her children were born, she never took medications and only died from my sisters cooking:frown2:



All these weird diseases. I saw a fellow on television today who had a daughter with "the sleeping beauty disease"; they sleep for 13 or 14 days at a time. Something with the autoimmune system.



:drool5: Coco puffs, nothing like them except Cookie Crisp. I've tried to incorporate a good diet since this flu hit me and lasted 5 weeks...This healthy food is about to kill my digestive system; I feel I may explood at any point:puke:

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I currently suffer from alarmingly red annual underarm rashes - I've no idea why I get them, they don't cause me much bother - they just appear, itch for a few days and depart.

The wierdest thing I had was one winter when my finger ends tended to split.

It is a commonly held belief by some people that dirt improves the immune system - hence the ruddy faced urchins you see wandering around in inadequate clothing. Perhaps we should stop showering and just smell more. On second thoughts nah.

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

You see, this is why I like being an honorary bloke, Men are just so interesting...They talk about everything:patriot:

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All those hours in the pub talking nonsense has been a good training.

Funnily enough, since I stopped going to pubs, their business has gone right down. It's either that or the vast improvements in home entertainment coupled with the supermarkets' get p*ssed quick campaigns. :biggrin5:

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

You see, this is why I like being an honorary bloke, Men are just so interesting...They talk about everything:patriot:

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Yes, and sometimes we make sense too.

[QUOTE=Paulclem;848569]

It is a commonly held belief by some people that dirt improves the immune system - QUOTE]

My farmer father was fond of saying "A little clean dirt never hurt anybody."

[QUOTE=gbrekken;849003]

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

It is a commonly held belief by some people that dirt improves the immune system - QUOTE]

My farmer father was fond of saying "A little clean dirt never hurt anybody."

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My Grandad was a shepherd. He never mentioned dirt, but I'm sure he would have thought the same. (How are shepherds considered over there? I still remember Glen Ford in the cowboy film where he's a not very well regarded sheep farmer. I think that was my Grandad's favourite film).

We've got a cat and a dog to keep up with the immuno-dust and grime and hair. We still get colds galore though. Perhaps we're keeping them too squeaky clean. :biggrinjester:

:incazzato:

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

I currently suffer from alarmingly red annual underarm rashes - I've no idea why I get them, they don't cause me much bother - they just appear, itch for a few days and depart.
The wierdest thing I had was one winter when my finger ends tended to split.

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I have "friends":wink5: with the same problem; the rash actually clears up with a mixture for poison ivy (a mixture of benadryl and calamine lotion). It tends to come with moisture and skin rubbing against clothing or skin.
A bit more of zinc and vitamin E in your diet help the skin cracking; and I hear it makes you chase your wife around the bed:banana::banana:

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

All those hours in the pub talking nonsense has been a good training.
Funnily enough, since I stopped going to pubs, their business has gone right down. It's either that or the vast improvements in home entertainment coupled with the supermarkets' get p*ssed quick campaigns. :biggrin5:

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I can see that, we almost had to shut down the blokes thread when you stopped visiting...right Jocky, Atheist:wave:

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Yes, and sometimes we make sense too.

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You always make sense Prendrelemick; and I still think gbrekken is doing some esoteric code when we don't understand him, right gman:wink5:
[QUOTE=gbrekken;849003]

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

It is a commonly held belief by some people that dirt improves the immune system - QUOTE]

I think it does, like vaccines, if you already have an immune system; with me, my immune system isn't tough enough to let any of the little suckers in:prrr:
My farmer father was fond of saying "A little clean dirt never hurt anybody."

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I buy my dirt from the stores after the cow and heat processing, antibacterials, etc...then the cats use it as a litter box...:frown2:
[QUOTE=Paulclem;849068]

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Originally Posted by gbrekken

My Grandad was a shepherd. He never mentioned dirt, but I'm sure he would have thought the same. (How are shepherds considered over there? I still remember Glen Ford in the cowboy film where he's a not very well regarded sheep farmer. I think that was my Grandad's favourite film).

We've got a cat and a dog to keep up with the immuno-dust and grime and hair. We still get colds galore though. Perhaps we're keeping them too squeaky clean. :biggrinjester:

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I think it would be a wonderful and peaceful life herding sheep. I think alot of my allergies are from the cat dandar...do they ever stop cleaning themselves. 'My neighbor yelled at me because I wouldn't let my cat sit on his coffee table; as soon as he "stuck up" for the cat, she began cleaning her private parts:ciappa::ack2::smilielol5:

Wonderful, peaceful! :lol: No, I'd say its more like psychological warfare, and the sheep are winning.

I'm constantly telling the wife that muck is not a bad thing, and that by coming into the kitchen with my wellies on, I'm protecting her from all kinds of nasties.

SOUNDS. I dont need owt to encourage me to chase the wife around the bed, but if you know of anything that will enable me to catch her....

to catch the wife, begin with well placed snares. :)

shepherds are rare, though the Basque are still around, I think. Most of the guys at the bar are either truck drivers looking for work, or cattle ranchers out for the night, so I don't bring it up.

esoteric or cryptic? I'm not sure. Efforts toward understandability are under way :)

Ah, springes to catch woodcocks then we will all the pleasures prove

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

I think it would be a wonderful and peaceful life herding sheep.

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You need to meet some sheep.

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Wonderful, peaceful! :lol: No, I'd say its more like psychological warfare, and the sheep are winning.

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I've lived on a sheep farm.

The bleating reminded me too much of the ex-mother-in-law.

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

I'm constantly telling the wife that muck is not a bad thing, and that by coming into the kitchen with my wellies on, I'm protecting her from all kinds of nasties.

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She should be praising your tireless efforts.

God, you just can't please some women.

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

You need to meet some sheep.



I've lived on a sheep farm.

The bleating reminded me too much of the ex-mother-in-law.



She should be praising your tireless efforts.

God, you just can't please some women.

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:lol:

I have met sheep before. They were very butty and skittish, but then it was a slaughterhouse. I couldn't blame them.

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Wonderful, peaceful! :lol: No, I'd say its more like psychological warfare, and the sheep are winning.

I'm constantly telling the wife that muck is not a bad thing, and that by coming into the kitchen with my wellies on, I'm protecting her from all kinds of nasties.

SOUNDS. I dont need owt to encourage me to chase the wife around the bed, but if you know of anything that will enable me to catch her....

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Come back home with a different pair of underwear than you left with, preferably a nice silky red brief, spray a bit of womens perfume near you, and put a few long hairs near the nape of your neck; walk in totally oblivious, start to undress in front of her and bang...she will be on you:ladysman:

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

You need to meet some sheep.
I've lived on a sheep farm.

The bleating reminded me too much of the ex-mother-in-law.

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I've met a sheep throw rug, does that count:idea:

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

:lol:

I have met sheep before. They were very butty and skittish, but then it was a slaughterhouse. I couldn't blame them.

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Quite right.

The best sheep are smothered in mint sauce.

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

I've met a sheep throw rug, does that count:idea:

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I ate that one - it was delicious!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJdww9bYnDM

Gilliatt

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Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJdww9bYnDM

Gilliatt

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:lol:
We use sheepdogs in the UK. There was a weekly programme that was on the telly - One Man and his Dog. I'd like to see the US version if that's an example.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rD4237RO5bE

We really used to watch this! TV's come a long way.

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

Come back home with a different pair of underwear than you left with, preferably a nice silky red brief, spray a bit of womens perfume near you, and put a few long hairs near the nape of your neck; walk in totally oblivious, start to undress in front of her and bang...she will be on you:ladysman:

:

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I may be desperate, but I'm not suicidal-yet!

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Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJdww9bYnDM

Gilliatt

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It looks like Bigfoot is a vegitarian. Though not through choice! :drool5::(

:toetap05:

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Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJdww9bYnDM

Gilliatt

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Great video, Gilliatt, I must admit; that might make me want to eat the critters:beatdeadhorse5:

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

:lol:
We use sheepdogs in the UK. There was a weekly programme that was on the telly - One Man and his Dog. I'd like to see the US version if that's an example.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rD4237RO5bE

We really used to watch this! TV's come a long way.

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I watched it for a good while; it's sort of hypnotic :yawnb: Maybe we should keep the video for American dogs; "See, in other countries you'd be working for your food":toetap05:

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

I may be desperate, but I'm not suicidal-yet!

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Well, I don't know; it worked on me...but I'm the curious type:out:

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

It looks like Bigfoot is a vegitarian. Though not through choice! :drool5::(

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What is all this talk of eating; I thought people kept sheep for their coats:(

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Originally Posted by gbrekken

to catch the wife, begin with well placed snares. :)

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What type of snares would you suggest: I could go for $50 dollar bills hidden about the house:ladysman:

Where are you, Jocky?:seeya:

The bigfoot video reminded me of a Montana joke. Montana, where men are men, women are scarce, and the sheep are scared. :)

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Originally Posted by gbrekken

The bigfoot video reminded me of a Montana joke. Montana, where men are men, women are scarce, and the sheep are scared. :)

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This is a Welsh joke too.

I have a question for you Blokes and Honorary Lady members.

My daughter had the Winter vomiting Bug last night - (else it was the salmonella chutney she had on the veggie burger in Mcdonalds. I did suggest that she was going through a Superhero metamorphosis into Vomit Girl, who can take a villain down with a well aimed projectile vom!...but she wasn't impressed and gave me the look perfected by 14 year old girls over the whole history of time).

She was up for quite a time with me, and I had time to reflect upon the skill of the vomit whilst mopping out the bathroom.

Are you aware of the vomit classifications of Good vomiter and Bad vomiter?

The Good vomiter can hold it in to the sink/ toilet/ bath, and will assist the later cleanup by an accurate projection into the said receptacle.

The Bad vomiter can't hold it in and seems to spasm as they vomit resulting in a 180 degree vom splatter pattern arc.

Anyay, my question is this - Are the incidences of good and bad vomiters the result of nature or nurture? Are good and bad vomiters born or made?

I look forward in anticipation to your stories and answers. We could also widen the question out and start a thread on this subject in the bear pit.:puke:

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Originally Posted by gbrekken

The bigfoot video reminded me of a Montana joke. Montana, where men are men, women are scarce, and the sheep are scared. :)

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:shocked: That is a sad, sad tale. Down here, in hip hop land, pit bulls gather in corners and whisper

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

This is a Welsh joke too.

I have a question for you Blokes and Honorary Lady members.

My daughter had the Winter vomiting Bug last night - (else it was the salmonella chutney she had on the veggie burger in Mcdonalds. I did suggest that she was going through a Superhero metamorphosis into Vomit Girl, who can take a villain down with a well aimed projectile vom!...but she wasn't impressed and gave me the look perfected by 14 year old girls over the whole history of time).

She was up for quite a time with me, and I had time to reflect upon the skill of the vomit whilst mopping out the bathroom.

Are you aware of the vomit classifications of Good vomiter and Bad vomiter?

The Good vomiter can hold it in to the sink/ toilet/ bath, and will assist the later cleanup by an accurate projection into the said receptacle.

The Bad vomiter can't hold it in and seems to spasm as they vomit resulting in a 180 degree vom splatter pattern arc.

Anyay, my question is this - Are the incidences of good and bad vomiters the result of nature or nurture? Are good and bad vomiters born or made?

I look forward in anticipation to your stories and answers. We could also widen the question out and start a thread on this subject in the bear pit.:puke:

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Vomit girl, very creative. What a fine fellow you are to clean up vomit.
I don't know, the projectile thing seems to be something we get under control with age, do you think. Nurture helps, if you know you have a spewer, as soon as they get tempremental or darkened cheeks: bring a bucket lined with toilet paper, paper towels or a moist cloth and a plastic bag. Keep a mop at hand, leave the toilet lid up and put an open container near by in case they are...well,
I usually then take a nice stiff drink for moms nerves and try to get a bit of rest nearby.

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

:shocked: That is a sad, sad tale. Down here, in hip hop land, pit bulls gather in corners and whisper


Vomit girl, very creative. What a fine fellow you are to clean up vomit.
I don't know, the projectile thing seems to be something we get under control with age, do you think. Nurture helps, if you know you have a spewer, as soon as they get tempremental or darkened cheeks: bring a bucket lined with toilet paper, paper towels or a moist cloth and a plastic bag. Keep a mop at hand, leave the toilet lid up and put an open container near by in case they are...well,
I usually then take a nice stiff drink for moms nerves and try to get a bit of rest nearby.

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Fine advice from years of experience. I left the lid down and paid big time.

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

Where are you, Jocky?:seeya:

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Where art thou you king in kilted tights?
Aye, the bottle let him down again last night

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7sT5...eature=related

“I am a moth” he says, “transfixed on the lights”
To Marfa me lads! Now let us take flight!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCQqF...eature=related

He’ll be back soon enough, alien sojourn’s take a few days.

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

This is a Welsh joke too.

I have a question for you Blokes and Honorary Lady members.

My daughter had the Winter vomiting Bug last night - (else it was the salmonella chutney she had on the veggie burger in Mcdonalds...

Are you aware of the vomit classifications of Good vomiter and Bad vomiter? ...
...The Bad vomiter can't hold it in and seems to spasm as they vomit resulting in a 180 degree vom splatter pattern arc...

---

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

Fine advice from years of experience. I left the lid down and paid big time.

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(green laughing smilie) That is funny!

Now to...
the spew:

I recall an incident many years ago (in my wilder days)
There was party on hot summer’s night.
Many had gathered outside near a pool.
I was beginning to suffer from a lethal mix roiling in my gut.
Nearby, the air conditioning condenser fan was running.
The warm air blowing off the coils was soothing, so I lay over the top of the fan.
People gathered around the fan to taunt and laugh at me, but soon I would have my revenge!
Suddenly a bubbling mass of magma surging from the depths of hell surged upward.
The lethal mix erupted into the fan blades spraying everything in two meter radius including those who would seek amusement at my suffering.

Gilliatt

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

Where art thou you king in kilted tights?
Aye, the bottle let him down again last night

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7sT5...eature=related

“I am a moth” he says, “transfixed on the lights”
To Marfa me lads! Now let us take flight!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCQqF...eature=related

He’ll be back soon enough, alien sojourn’s take a few days.





(green laughing smilie) That is funny!

Now to...
the spew:

I recall an incident many years ago (in my wilder days)
There was party on hot summer’s night.
Many had gathered outside near a pool.
I was beginning to suffer from a lethal mix roiling in my gut.
Nearby, the air conditioning condenser fan was running.
The warm air blowing off the coils was soothing, so I lay over the top of the fan.
People gathered around the fan to taunt and laugh at me, but soon I would have my revenge!
Suddenly a bubbling mass of magma surging from the depths of hell surged upward.
The lethal mix erupted into the fan blades spraying everything in two meter radius including those who would seek amusement at my suffering.

Gilliatt

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That's a fantastic story. Well worth the nausea.:lol:

Aye, there's nothing worse than a lethal mix in summer. Once I cracked open like a broken water supply pipe and threw up much of that high pH venom cooking in my stomach on a friend who sat right beside me jingling and giggling his way down the beerdom. Needless to say, that was an isolated incident which surely taught my then teen self a lesson I never forgot, which is: never spew on someone drunk. It starts a chain-reaction. :puke:

Glad you enjoyed it Paulclem.
Thanks for sharing the story about your daughter. I have one son who is now in his mid teens (oh lord help us!).
Your story brought back a few messy memories of my own.

Gilliatt

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

Fine advice from years of experience. I left the lid down and paid big time.

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Glad to help, my daughter, now 35, was a big time spewer. :rolleyes5::arf::cold::frown5::puke:
Speaking of which, no one has mentioned the 2 way dilema; spewing from all orifices...does it only happen on my watch:(

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

Where art thou you king in kilted tights?
Aye, the bottle let him down again last night

“I am a moth” he says, “transfixed on the lights”
To Marfa me lads! Now let us take flight!

He’ll be back soon enough, alien sojourn’s take a few days.

(green laughing smilie) That is funny!

Now to...
the spew:

I recall an incident many years ago (in my wilder days)
There was party on hot summer’s night.
Many had gathered outside near a pool.
I was beginning to suffer from a lethal mix roiling in my gut.
Nearby, the air conditioning condenser fan was running.
The warm air blowing off the coils was soothing, so I lay over the top of the fan.
People gathered around the fan to taunt and laugh at me, but soon I would have my revenge!
Suddenly a bubbling mass of magma surging from the depths of hell surged upward.
The lethal mix erupted into the fan blades spraying everything in two meter radius including those who would seek amusement at my suffering.

Gilliatt

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:alien: Glad to know that, at least, our Jocky is among friends.


Revenge is so, so sweet:devil:

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Originally Posted by Satan

Aye, there's nothing worse than a lethal mix in summer. Once I cracked open like a broken water supply pipe and threw up much of that high pH venom cooking in my stomach on a friend who sat right beside me jingling and giggling his way down the beerdom. Needless to say, that was an isolated incident which surely taught my then teen self a lesson I never forgot, which is: never spew on someone drunk. It starts a chain-reaction. :puke:

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I've been exposed to alot of scenes and smells over the years, but barfing still makes me lose it...even when I watch those little cartoon shows like South Park, where the kid is puking.
Oh, Happy Belated Birthday...:bday_2::party::ladysman:

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

Oh, Happy Belated Birthday...:bday_2::party::ladysman:

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You're late to the party. :toetap05:

Thanks! ;)

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

Anyay, my question is this - Are the incidences of good and bad vomiters the result of nature or nurture? Are good and bad vomiters born or made?

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I'll go with the nurture, with the exception being adolescents suffering from the well known short circuits in the brain.

I once had a student, who, unbeknownst to me, should have stayed home for day. Instead, being the dedicated one, driven by parents, he attended school, and while listening to an oral report by another student, sneezed, or so I thought. Being in the back of the room, that's what I thought it was, until the chorus of "oooooooooo"s went up around him. He'd attempted to hold it in, to no avail, for the projectiles had proceeded through and out both nostrils, splashing off the desk, and gently bathing everyone within three feet in a 180 degree arc. I wasn't quick enough with the waste basket, so the second shot hit the floor and splattered a few more. Oh the joys of teaching middle school. I do miss it sometimes, but not often.

Jocky is probably enjoying the ladies' Olympic curling efforts. The British are led by a Scottish teen, whose other hobbies are golfing and bagpiping. They started off by knocking off the reigning world champs.

Anyone catch the Aussie gal's gold medal performance on the halfpipe?

An interesting sub-catagory is the surreptitious vomiter, usually a baby at a christening. You only know its happened by the white streak of puke down the back of your best suit.

I have a vague memory of me and a young lady ending an enchanted evening bending over a sink and poking lumps of carrot down the plughole, we had shared a bottle of vodka and lime earlier.

I missed the half-pipe, but those skeleton sliders are so fast!!

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Originally Posted by gbrekken

I'll go with the nurture, with the exception being adolescents suffering from the well known short circuits in the brain.

I once had a student, who, unbeknownst to me, should have stayed home for day. Instead, being the dedicated one, driven by parents, he attended school, and while listening to an oral report by another student, sneezed, or so I thought. Being in the back of the room, that's what I thought it was, until the chorus of "oooooooooo"s went up around him. He'd attempted to hold it in, to no avail, for the projectiles had proceeded through and out both nostrils, splashing off the desk, and gently bathing everyone within three feet in a 180 degree arc. I wasn't quick enough with the waste basket, so the second shot hit the floor and splattered a few more. Oh the joys of teaching middle school. I do miss it sometimes, but not often.

Jocky is probably enjoying the ladies' Olympic curling efforts. The British are led by a Scottish teen, whose other hobbies are golfing and bagpiping. They started off by knocking off the reigning world champs.

Anyone catch the Aussie gal's gold medal performance on the halfpipe?

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:lol:
I used to work in Primary School - 4 to 12 year olds. I had just got back in for a maths lesson after being on playground duty, and picked up my cold coffee and took a big swig. Just then a tickle in the throat made me cough it all out in a 180 degree arc. all the good, eager kids on the front row were drenched and said errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!


I had to laugh.

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

Glad to help, my daughter, now 35, was a big time spewer. :rolleyes5::arf::cold::frown5::puke:
Speaking of which, no one has mentioned the 2 way dilema; spewing from all orifices...does it only happen on my watch:(

:alien: Glad to know that, at least, our Jocky is among friends.


Revenge is so, so sweet:devil:


I've been exposed to alot of scenes and smells over the years, but barfing still makes me lose it...even when I watch those little cartoon shows like South Park, where the kid is puking.
Oh, Happy Belated Birthday...:bday_2::party::ladysman:

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Luckily I've never had to deal with the multiple orifice swamping.

I know what you mean by the barfing in sympathy. I'm a good vomiter though and I can usually keep it down. I have had instances of reluctant vomiting - where the vom comes between the fingers in multi-directional streams. :lol: