One long lousy day.
If vice is bad, why then do we need a vice president?
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One long lousy day.
If vice is bad, why then do we need a vice president?
When the president is in the toilet.
Are we going through global warming?
No - people just keep turning the heater up...
Why is the sky blue?
To see the clouds better.
Why do some people get redder faces when they drink alcohol?
It acts as a warning for others...
What does the "cil" in "pencil" mean (if a pen is a pen)?
Because it's sound is 'sil' which is short for silly.
Why is this site called Literature Network Forum?
It sounds better than Whatdoucallit Website.
Why does a wood pencil taste so good when we're nervous?
Because we love trees
Why are we born?
To annoy our parents.
Are we ever going to grow up?
Yes at around 2012
Will the world end in 2012?
Yes, at exactly 6:37 AM March 15, 2012. MARK MY WORDS.
When will it stop?
when the next thing starts.
Why doesnt gravity go the other way?
Because it doesn't hasn't worked out the difference between left and right, yet!
Who is King Julian?
One of the patients in the psych ward
How do I get out of a wormhole?
You tap your heels together and say "There's no place like home, there's no place like home."
How is ground beef dug up?
The hamburger bun driving a bulldozer
Why isn't there a pupil in the eye of a needle?
Because a pupil is a student and a student wouldn't fit.
Who are you?
A person.
Who's that standing next to you?
Another person
Who is watching you?
Doctor Who
How come I'm always right?
Because everyone else went left...
Why do we need to eat?
So that the rest of the world can keep up with our obesity rate.
Why should everyone be nice to one another?
Because if you're not nice to them, they may spike your food.
How do you draw on the Sistine Ceiling without getting dizzy and nauseous?
I mix all the drinks and get drunk, before I get sober I do the drawing.
Is it better to be cleverly stupid or stupidly clever?
I prefer not to mix the two - so neither
Can you teach an elephant to sing?
Yes, if you get an disciplined elephant.
What happens when a clown stops being funny?
They'll get tickled until they laugh again.
How do I turn cotton candy into a sweater?
Use a sewing machine
How can I count to 30, when I only have 10 fingers and 10 toes?
If you're not bald, you can continue with your hair.
To be a leader, how much lead does one need to consume?
Oh, a couple of boxes of hb pencils.
Is the moon in Australia as big as the one in America?
Well America has a greater population and thus exhale more carbon dioxide. This then ignites the moon to expand in America.
What is what?
Yes.
What is who?
a three letter word.
Why does friday come after thursday and not the other way round?
Because one can only eat fried food at the end of the working week.
Is it true, are there martians on mars?
well there wont be any on the moon!
Why do we live on the earth and not on the sun?
Because the Sunians beat us there.
Why doesn't the sun shine at night?
It does, only it changes its name into Moon.
How do you know the difference between stupid and clever?
Clever means you know how to ask a stupid question.
Why is coming up with a stupid question so hard?
Because a stupid question has to be clever.
What time is one o'clock?
Wait, don't tell me... I should know this one... Nope, can't think. Don't have enough fingers and toes to count to one.
What do you do when your clock's battery goes flat?