Congrats go MGK, great poem
I was worried that my poem might have abstracted from the photograph a bit, but it did take me to a very personal place.Quote:
Originally Posted by NickAdams;816902[B
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Congrats go MGK, great poem
I was worried that my poem might have abstracted from the photograph a bit, but it did take me to a very personal place.Quote:
Originally Posted by NickAdams;816902[B
wow, thanks for the winning vote nick! and thanks for the congratulations, daniel spotted exactly what i was trying to bring across.
Congrads, MGK! Next picture?
Hello! Anybody out there going to put up a picture? Hello!
:confused:
MGK hasn't logged on since the 22nd.
There should be some kind of rule here about posting pictures, like if you don't post within a week then the picture is given back to the previous poster.
Off-topic comment: Really nice avatar Pendragon :cool:
i post the picture? i thought the threadstarter does :?
my bad! i'll post one up asap
http://i138.photobucket.com/albums/q...sego_amigo.jpg
artwork by otsego-amigo.deviantart.com
The Eye of the City
Among the chaos my eyes are drawn
to a splash of crimson
which signifies
as an electric angel
winking without
blinking an eye.
From this perception
I descend below from the heights
in sweeping blows
upon your dusty wings,
where order begins to arise
and I see patterns
and different shades of color
where once I thought
it was all just cast in hues of beige.
You awaken me from your stoic throne
atop a pillar not made of salt or sand
but glass reinforced by steal
the new king and symbol of mans
desire.
Ah, there it is
I see it now, on the horizon
the city of my dreams
a tangle of gold and silver civilization
hovering on the edge of my consciousness,
devoid of life
I have only to reach out
a finger to touch it
and the spark will fly from me
to its liquid latent core,
and it will spring to life
all full of torment and evil and despair
and lost humanity
what will they see
but others like themselves?
the golden beauty that has
grown around them as invisible to the
eye as a grain of sand
green cannot abide here
but dawn lingers
floating on roseate wings
and hoping that man will look up
with eager eyes and see
what he has wrought
Qimissung
two brilliant entries! difficult choice already, i wonder what the next poets come up with.
deadline: 15th of january
(play record)
I like to drink
the brown water
and
eat the sky
and
make bets
on horses
and
eat cherry pie
i once climbed mount everest
until i found that i was climbing the sears
step-by-step
drip-by-drip
I am God in my apartment
and when I bring mice over
They call me God
I once stood at the top of a building
Between the land and the sea
And everyone down below thought I was going to jump
I've injected herion on 3rd Avenue
But never on 5th, I'm not ready for fifth
I go to St. Mary's for some reformation
they smile under their Black Veil
and pass me the paper cup
smile, grainy
old
grandmother
smile, my city
and the winner is: DanielBenoit!
i greatly enjoyed all three poems so it was a very tough decision.
Dark Muse's poem has great imagery and diction, but i feel it does not consider the human element enough.
qimissung was my original choice, the raw imperfection but unfailing spirit of man and the greatness of his achievement is very nicely portrayed here.
But i decided on DanielBenoit's poem because it conveyed to me the idea of the rock-like city, against which wash the waves of humanity. The city will always be there, the human souls that populate its streets are there in one second and gone in the next.
Thank you MGK, I am honored :angel:
Great poems quimissung and Dark Muse, vivid imagery as always :)
Will post the next picture as soon as possible.