Snapshots

Quote:

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Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin

An elderly couple,
done ripening in each other’s direction,
shuffle contrapuntally
along the street.
They sway toward each other, then apart,
toward each other, then apart,
toward each other...

---

Ahhh..... the way of life.... I love it, Jer.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin

thin, hunched as if to contain
her body’s ache,

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This speaks to me of an entire lifetime of pain. Well said, my friend.

Junkin’ at the supermarket

I go right by the section of fresh fruits
and produce, my cart clattering happily
on the tiled floor, I’m headed
for those gorgeous packages
made of plasticized cardboard,
cellophane, styrofoam
with something inside, like
-–remember those packages
of Cracker-Jack we bought as kids
that contained a free prize inside?

Remember the heady expectation
of fishing through the sticky goop
to find that prize! Oh no, not a-
nother pressed-tin piece of crap!
Oh well, there would surely be something better
next time. (“Next time,” come to think of it,
was the tense they forgot to teach us
in elementary school.)

I manage to collect a cart
full of foodish stuff
and head for the cash
to flirt amiably while I hand over
my hard-earned money.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin

A sickly-complexioned woman,
thin, hunched as if to contain
her body’s ache, slowly unwinds
her dog’s leash from a tree
outside the café
and, clutching a cardboard cup of coffee,
slowly, slowly walks away.

---

God damnit, Jerry, you are a real genius!!! You have such talent!!! You make me want to cry!

Quote:

---

Junkin’ at the supermarket
I go right by the section of fresh fruits
and produce, my cart clattering happily
on the tiled floor, I’m headed
for those gorgeous packages
made of plasticized cardboard,
cellophane, styrofoam
with something inside, like
-–remember those packages
of Cracker-Jack we bought as kids
that contained a free prize inside?

Remember the heady expectation
of fishing through the sticky goop
to find that prize! Oh no, not a-
nother pressed-tin piece of crap!
Oh well, there would surely be something better
next time. (“Next time,” come to think of it,
was the tense they forgot to teach us
in elementary school.)

I manage to collect a cart
full of foodish stuff
and head for the cash
to flirt amiably while I hand over
my hard-earned money.

---

You are wonderful, this is so great. You really are a poet, for me. Your poems have this Jerry-thing, it's really you, I love it.

first time to post on this thread, but have been reading, and I love it Uncle Jer :D!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin

A sickly-complexioned woman,
thin, hunched as if to contain
her body’s ache, slowly unwinds
her dog’s leash from a tree
outside the café
and, clutching a cardboard cup of coffee,
slowly, slowly walks away.

---

I have seen this thanks to your precision. Beautiful, PrinceM! :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin

A sickly-complexioned woman,
thin, hunched as if to contain
her body’s ache, slowly unwinds
her dog’s leash from a tree
outside the café
and, clutching a cardboard cup of coffee,
slowly, slowly walks away.

---

I admire the way you capture the moments and sculpt them in the form of poetry. It's fabulous! Like Pen, I would like to say, "Encore!"

Your imagery is like a motion-picture put into words playing through my mind. Very good job.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin

Junkin’ at the supermarket

I go right by the section of fresh fruits
and produce, my cart clattering happily
on the tiled floor, I’m headed
for those gorgeous packages
made of plasticized cardboard,
cellophane, styrofoam
with something inside, like
-–remember those packages
of Cracker-Jack we bought as kids
that contained a free prize inside?

Remember the heady expectation
of fishing through the sticky goop
to find that prize! Oh no, not a-
nother pressed-tin piece of crap!
Oh well, there would surely be something better
next time. (“Next time,” come to think of it,
was the tense they forgot to teach us
in elementary school.)

I manage to collect a cart
full of foodish stuff
and head for the cash
to flirt amiably while I hand over
my hard-earned money.

---

Jer, it's interesting one! Loved it! :)

From above his long, grey,
straggley beard, a Khassid,
sunk deep in his wheel-chair,
glares at me as if to ask,
“What right have you?
What right have you?”

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin

From above his long, grey,
straggley beard, a Khassid,
sunk deep in his wheel-chair,
glares at me as if to ask,
“What right have you?
What right have you?”

---

This is very powerful, Jer, even though I'm not sure how to interpret it, but I have my own feeling about it. Love it.

Sometimes people cannot see just how vacant our looks really are, that perhaps we aren't really looking at them at all.
Wonderful snapshot Prince. I would like to sketch this one.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin

From above his long, grey,
straggley beard, a Khassid,
sunk deep in his wheel-chair,
glares at me as if to ask,
“What right have you?
What right have you?”

---

Never heard the word "Khassid" before, but the description of the man is quite interesting. And what does the underline at the last line signifies?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by dibyendra

Never heard the word "Khassid" before, but the description of the man is quite interesting. And what does the underline at the last line signifies?

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"Khassid" is my attempt to approximate the Hebrew sound of the name of a member of the "Hassisim," a group of ultra-orthodox Jews, the males recognizable by their long, often curled sideburns, beards, skullcaps or round fur-trimmed caps, long black coats and white cotton stockings. The women wear wigs, orthopedic-looking stockings and dowdy clothes.

A rugged-looking guy
walks by, a tiny parcel
of a baby in the crook
of his left elbow.
The baby’s pink,
bare legs hang free,
scissoring the wind.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin

"Khassid" is my attempt to approximate the Hebrew sound of the name of a member of the "Hassisim," a group of ultra-orthodox Jews, the males recognizable by their long, often curled sideburns, beards, skullcaps or round fur-trimmed caps, long black coats and white cotton stockings. The women wear wigs, orthopedic-looking stockings and dowdy clothes.

A rugged-looking guy
walks by, a tiny parcel
of a baby in the crook
of his left elbow.
The baby’s pink,
bare legs hang free,
scissoring the wind.

---

Interesting mix between roughness, sharpness on one side, and innocence and sweetness on the other. (I mean, innocence and sweetness as they usually are associated to babies by people...). Very nice poem. You are so talented, you really have the mind of a poet. I admire you so much, you are wonderful.

I had not heard the word Khassid before either, but searched and found 'Hassid' and I thought your Khassid reflected the way it was prononced by Jewish people. So I was right, eh?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sweets America

I had not heard the word Khassid before either, but searched and found 'Hassid' and I thought your Khassid reflected the way it was pronounced by Jewish people. So I was right, eh?

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You are ALWAYS right - sometimes more so than others. "Kh" is I think an accepted way to approximate the Hebrew guttural "ch" which is represented in the Semitic alphabet by either one of two letters, the "khet" and the "khaf" ח כ

Quote:

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Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin

You are ALWAYS right - sometimes more so than others. "Kh" is I think an accepted way to approximate the Hebrew guttural "ch" which is represented in the Semitic alphabet by either one of two letters, the "khet" and the "khaf" ח כ

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Thanks, teacher! ;) Yes, the Hebrew sound 'ch' like in Ich or dich (or is it Yiddish?). Actually we write 'ch' here, not 'kh', but I think that 'kh' looks good at the beginning of words. Anyway.

So, Prince, if you don't mind my asking, where were you this morning? You don't have to actually tell me WHERE you were but why weren't you here. You don't have to actually tell me WHY you weren't here. I guess what I'm trying to say is this. If I don't see a post from Prince early in the morning I get all worked up. :D Anyway, I'm glad you're here.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ampoule

So, Prince, if you don't mind my asking, where were you this morning? You don't have to actually tell me WHERE you were but why weren't you here. You don't have to actually tell me WHY you weren't here. I guess what I'm trying to say is this. If I don't see a post from Prince early in the morning I get all worked up. :D Anyway, I'm glad you're here.

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Wow! Many thanks, and in apology may I offer this:

Sometimes we dance
with others, a tango, a fox-trot
or the slow tantalizing steps of romance
but sometimes, unseen, alone,
we dance with our dreams,
and that might be
the best dance of all.

We set the scene, a magnificent ball-
room or a forest glade under a canopy
of stars, winking at us
from light-years ago
as if to promise that our light
will continue to shine long after
our mortal bodies no longer
emit light or warmth or hope
or love. We are love!

Arms, legs, hearts
that burn for love, for sex,
for forever, but above all,
We are love!

Take us sweetly and softly.
Take us with hands
that could bend steel
but that would not bruise
the wings of a butterfly.

The fear of loving
has bruised the heart
of many an angel
and left it broken
by the side of the road.

On Bagg Street a man sits
in the lawn chair
he appears to have grown from:
whiskers, unruly hair,
paunch, and softly spreading derriere.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin

Wow! Many thanks, and in apology may I offer this:

Sometimes we dance
with others, a tango, a fox-trot
or the slow tantalizing steps of romance
but sometimes, unseen, alone,
we dance with our dreams,
and that might be
the best dance of all.

We set the scene, a magnificent ball-
room or a forest glade under a canopy
of stars, winking at us
from light-years ago
as if to promise that our light
will continue to shine long after
our mortal bodies no longer
emit light or warmth or hope
or love. We are love!

Arms, legs, hearts
that burn for love, for sex,
for forever, but above all,
We are love!

Take us sweetly and softly.
Take us with hands
that could bend steel
but that would not bruise
the wings of a butterfly.

The fear of loving
has bruised the heart
of many an angel
and left it broken
by the side of the road.

---

Wow! Apology accepted! You're setting the bar pretty high or is that you're sitting high at the bar? :D Truly, that is a lovely, lovely poem.

A young middle-aged woman
strides purposefully by
in shorts, middle-aged knees,
cellulite thighs. She notices
me noticing her.
Doesn't like it.

Haha,
that's funny...
How you notice her 'down-falls' and her fall-downs and her-knees falling DOWN and yet you still? look at her with adoring eyes because you're hiding your
downfalls, and she's not?
OR - Alternate and yet still fu.cked up reading:
The paradox of the woman being "young" and yet "middle ages", and two of both, and both... at the same time
"striding purposefully by" connotes an unrelenting confidence not wavered by the looks of others who project fear of their age and death onto her for they're jealous of her youth but simultaneously worshipping it.
You could be writing it from her own self-castigation, but that would be your egotistic presupposition that you can see into her mind and thus see yourself as a woman, through a woman's eyes.
Or you could be seeing her as yourself, and therefore you're either blind to her faults or she doesn't like you looking at her because you don't think that you're 'beautiful' (haha silly word) enough to lot at her, or you assume your imminent rejection...
which comes,
but yet maybe it doesn't come because you're only reading into her 'LOOK' from your own self-judgment.

I APOLOGIZE (not really) if that was ALL OVER THE PLACE,
I'm doing a massive assignment at the moment and am in the process of drinking V and wont hide my fear of my stupidity.

Jodi

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Umbilical

Haha,
that's funny...
How you notice her 'down-falls' and her fall-downs and her-knees falling DOWN and yet you still? look at her with adoring eyes because you're hiding your
downfalls, and she's not?
OR - Alternate and yet still fu.cked up reading:
The paradox of the woman being "young" and yet "middle ages", and two of both, and both... at the same time
"striding purposefully by" connotes an unrelenting confidence not wavered by the looks of others who project fear of their age and death onto her for they're jealous of her youth but simultaneously worshipping it.
You could be writing it from her own self-castigation, but that would be your egotistic presupposition that you can see into her mind and thus see yourself as a woman, through a woman's eyes.
Or you could be seeing her as yourself, and therefore you're either blind to her faults or she doesn't like you looking at her because you don't think that you're 'beautiful' (haha silly word) enough to lot at her, or you assume your imminent rejection...
which comes,
but yet maybe it doesn't come because you're only reading into her 'LOOK' from your own self-judgment.

I APOLOGIZE (not really) if that was ALL OVER THE PLACE,
I'm doing a massive assignment at the moment and am in the process of drinking V and wont hide my fear of my stupidity.

Jodi

---

Yes, you could be right about any or all of that or, on the other hand, she might have been a young middle-aged woman who strode purposefully by
in shorts, middle-aged knees, cellulite thighs, who noticed me noticing her and didn't like it.

Haha, yes, that is true. :)

Sorry I got a bit carried away having too much fun there...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin

A young middle-aged woman
strides purposefully by
in shorts, middle-aged knees,
cellulite thighs. She notices
me noticing her.
Doesn't like it.

---

Wow Prince, this one is both amazing and funny, good job, just a few nit picks but nothing serious.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ampoule

So, Prince, if you don't mind my asking, where were you this morning? You don't have to actually tell me WHERE you were but why weren't you here. You don't have to actually tell me WHY you weren't here. I guess what I'm trying to say is this. If I don't see a post from Prince early in the morning I get all worked up. :D Anyway, I'm glad you're here.

---

Ah, here's one girl who understands how I feel! I ditto everything you said! :p

Shou! Your poem 'sometimes we dance' grows more wonderful with each stanza! The last one is just marvelous! That's YOU! That's my Shou! :) :banana:

On downscale, somewhat dilapidated
Fairmount a young woman gets out
of the passenger side of a Bentley convertible
next to the Greek depanneur,
and gets into her gleaming
Lexus C350 coupe.

“Must be fun to drive that,”
I say with an edge of envy in my voice.
“Not bad,” she replies with a laugh
and, pointing a manicured finger
after the departing behemoth,
“but not as nice as that!”

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin

On downscale, somewhat dilapidated
Fairmount a young woman gets out
of the passenger side of a Bentley convertible
next to the Greek depanneur,
and gets into her gleaming
Lexus C350 coupe.

“Must be fun to drive that,”
I say with an edge of envy in my voice.
“Not bad,” she replies with a laugh
and, pointing a manicured finger
after the departing behemoth,
“but not as nice as that!”

---

Oooh I love that "pointing manicured finger." Very strong image. I think you really captured something with this snapshot Prince. I like it!

Fiftyish guy goes by, tipped forward
like the brim of his safari hat,
tan cotton shirt, vest
and trousers, moustache
like a rhinoceros.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin

Fiftyish guy goes by, tipped forward
like the brim of his safari hat,
tan cotton shirt, vest
and trousers, moustache
like a rhinoceros.

---

You get these to where I can see the people! Nicely done, my friend! Bravo! :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pendragon

You get these to where I can see the people! Nicely done, my friend! Bravo! :)

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Thanks and think of this as a test more for my benefit than yours: How do you imagine the man's body, the size or shape of it? I thought of specifying that but try not to overload these snapshots.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin

Thanks and think of this as a test more for my benefit than yours: How do you imagine the man's body, the size or shape of it? I thought of specifying that but try not to overload these snapshots.

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He has no camera, this poet,
day after day, like a bee
gathering the pollen of humanity
at the café, his window seat,
occasionally engaging you
or you in his dance, which is to say,
uncommon flowers make nectar sweet.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by firefangled

He has no camera, this poet,
day after day, like a bee
gathering the pollen of humanity
at the café, his window seat,
occasionally engaging you
or you in his dance, which is to say,
uncommon flowers make nectar sweet.

---

Thanks, bro. I can't believe I've posted 50 of these! I do worry that I might one day son run out of film, though never of subjects.

so far, still so strong.. :D

I loved the rhinoceros crack! Such a vivid image...

mornin', Uncle Jer! (er, I have no idea what time it over there...)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by amanda_isabel

so far, still so strong.. :D

I loved the rhinoceros crack! Such a vivid image...

mornin', Uncle Jer! (er, I have no idea what time it over there...)

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5 pm, 13 hours earlier than in Manila...

Five white, black wing-tipped seagulls
swoop down in formation
on a scrap of food in the gutter.

They peck at it like attention-hungry politicians
then rise separately, circle and glide
in the air, landing briefly

on suspended electric cables
and the roof of the huge
former synagogue across the street.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin

Thanks and think of this as a test more for my benefit than yours: How do you imagine the man's body, the size or shape of it? I thought of specifying that but try not to overload these snapshots.

---

Body bent by time,
Whipcord thin, slightly emaciated,
He looks in need of a good meal,
Light playing off the thick glasses,
His cane taps the pavement
As if checking for hollows
Slow walking, but walking...

He was probably just the opposite, but my view! :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pendragon

Body bent by time,
Whipcord thin, slightly emaciated,
He looks in need of a good meal,
Light playing off the thick glasses,
His cane taps the pavement
As if checking for hollows
Slow walking, but walking...

He was probably just the opposite, but my view! :)

---

Fine poem of your own and you're undoubtedly right one way or the other! In fact he was pretty stocky which was so much a feature of what my eye took in that I imagined it would convey itself but other than the reference to the rhino, I couldn't see how to cue the reader

Sitting alone at a table
outside The Arts Café
I run over the names of the women
I’ve recently hungered for:

Marie1, Nancy, Margaret,
Marie2, Shen Li, Gita,
Gita, Gita!

Rosary beads in a string
that stretches from here
to the Goddess of Unfulfilled Desires.